mandylee500

Thanks you! It doesn't come across critically. I'm still thinking about what to do... Yes, I was thinking that someitmes I have a habit of detailing too much.

piperpied4397

I hope that doesnt come across criticality, I think you've done a wonderful job and I do not want to discourage you in any way... and I figure the more brainstorming you can get from various minds the more information you can gather for your own use :) Congrats, if only more kids were like yourself...

piperpied4397

Excellent Effort!!!! Keep it up :) Sometimes though a little less detail is good :) when describing or relating events...That being said, you're descriptions of things are lovely and well written. Are we going to see a "magic tree" or something?seems to be aiming at a young girls life and the possibility that something "magic" will happen :) perhaps with Grandmas' tree? maybe you could hold off on the "D&M" with Joey a little, tell him stuff, maybe not so much at first and draw out their relationship a bit, maybe let him court you a bit so to speak, or have a miscommunication or a scenario where he sticks up for you, (he could put the Madill in her place and that leads to friendship with him...boys tend to tease and pester girls when they like them and if the characters self esteem isn't that good would they really think that so soon???? But its your story (I'm certainly not criticising you or telling you what to write) and I think its marvellous, hope to finish reading it when you've finished :) Then I can pass it onto my daughter who will be of an age to read along those lines very shortly.

mandylee500

This is to be continued later!