How Do We Keep Our Kids

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Ask the Pastor: How do we keep our kids?

Brothers and Sisters,I’m going to begin this evening by reading very briefly fromHebrews chapter 2…We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we haveheard, so that we do not drift away.

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For if the message spoken byangels was binding, and every violation and disobedience receivedits just punishment,

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how shall we escape if we ignore such a greatsalvation?Tonight we begin the series Ask the Pastor…and the first questionthat I’ve been asked is: How do we keep our kids?There is a problem in the church. A problem age really. We noticeit when we look around our church on Sunday morning…Youngchildren, Teenagers, Young Families, Not So Young Families, Weeven have our not quite over the hill members……but not many between the ages of 20 and 30…We know they’reout there…we’re a close family…but we know that there are a lotof them who aren’t here…And we hear the words of Hebrews chapter 2 when it’s talkingabout people drifting and falling away and we think of them…andwe think of empty pews…and we think of memories that we haveof them in their teenage years when they were here and happy……and I’m sure many of us have wrestled with the question…Sotonight we’ll explore that question together…how do we keep our kids?

I. Well there’s obviously a problem somewhere so we shouldspend a little bit of time trying to find it.

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So let’s think about it…what kinds of things are we or aren’t wedoing that is causing our kids to grow up and leave the church…

i. Perhaps the problem is church.

Maybe there is something that is fundamentally flawed in the waythat we are doing ministry here. For some reason we are unable toconnect with these people who are leaving…This has been suggested to me a number of times from manydifferent people. If we did things here differently then we would beable to connect with them and they wouldn’t leave.If this is the case then what we need to be doing as church islooking for different ways to change what we are doing here: the problem is what?1. Some people think that it is a problem with discipline…that back when there were rules and order things were much better…if we would discipline our kids earlier and teach them to respect thechurch’s authority they wouldn’t leave.I won’t disagree with the sentiment. The church as a whole has lostground in society. Not just with the CRC but all around – Others will tell you that it’s too much discipline. That all the rulesand regulations have driven our kids out of the church becausethey don’t make sense in a contemporary world. And guess what – I’ve run into a lot of young people who cite this as their reason for not going to church…Still when you look at what happens when people pass the age of 30 and start coming back it tells us that there is still an inherent

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respect within people to what the church is. Honestly, this isn’twhere the problem lies.2. Some have suggested that it is a problem with style. That churchhas gotten old and boring and that it doesn’t speak to the kids of today.Here’s the thing. Think about the music that you like. Not just inchurch but anywhere. How many of you like the things that thekids are listening to these days? How many of you still like thethings you listened to growing up?The reality is that people’s tastes don’t change…not in music…notin church…so if it is style that’s driving them out why do so manycome back…Style is not the reason that that our kids are growing up andleaving the church. Now that doesn’t mean that we don’t evolveand change in the way that we do things…it just means that we doso for other, better and wiser reasons. Now I don’t want to let the church off the hook completely…Iwant to say to you now that it is a contributing factor to the problem. But it’s not a place that we’re going to start to solve the problem.

ii. Now if church isn’t the source of the problem, what is? Many of us see the problem being one of parenting…

Here’s the thing…it’s not other people’s parenting that we blame…it’s our own. Perhaps one of the biggest advantages that I have being a young pastor is that when I talk to parents of adults aroundmy age they want to talk about them…

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