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Response System" as a necessary part of modern life. I was just wondering what would
happen if God decides to go hi-tech and installs voicemail? I gave it a lot of thought and
came up with various scenarios:
"Hi! Thank you for calling God. Please select one of the following:
So, lets say you are a Hindu and you dialed 2. Here is what you hear:
"We are sorry, all Gods are busy helping other Bhaktas and Sinners. However, your
prayer is important to us and your prayer will be answered in the order it was received.
Please stay on line. One of the Gods will be with you soon."
"You have reached Lord Krishna's extension.. I am going to be away to conduct a special
yuddha to save the humanity and will be away until the year 2012. If this is something
urgent and cannot wait until then, call Shankara at GB +44 779000020000 Call. If you
want to speak to someone else, for other gods' directory, Press 6 now."
Or you might even hear something like this if you call toward the end of your life cycle:
"If you think you have reservations at our Heavenly Resort, please provide your name,
social security number and be ready to provide the proof of your eligibility. If you do not
have the proof of eligibility, please dial 420-HELL and ask for General Manager Ravana,
who will be happy to help you."
Or, depending on the purpose of your call, you might hear this:
"If you are calling to find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter
his or her 'mantra' number, then press the 0 key. If you get a negative response, try area
code 420-HELL."
For all you know in this day and age of quotas and all, you might even get a response like
this:
"Our computer records show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up
and try again tomorrow..."
Or you might even here this if you call on the wrong day:
"This Main Office of Heaven is closed for DIWALI holidays. If this is an emergency, you
may try our Himalayan Retreat in the mean time by dialing 6000-31,000."
So, let us hope and pray that God never learns about computers And IVR systems -
because if he does, we are in BIG trouble!