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God's IVR

God's IVR

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Published by emmkay3108

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Published by: emmkay3108 on Jan 31, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Over the past several years, we have all learned to live with IVRS - "Inter-active VoiceResponse System" as a necessary part of modern life. I was just wondering what wouldhappen if God decides to go hi-tech and installs voicemail? I gave it a lot of thought andcame up with various scenarios:Let us imagine a scenario. You dialed God's number."Hi! Thank you for calling God. Please select one of the following:If you are Christian, dial 1All Hindus, dial 2All Muslims, dial 3All others, dial 0."So, lets say you are a Hindu and you dialed 2. Here is what you hear:Press 1 for RequestsPress 2 for Thank you messages for GodPress 3 for Complaints about unfulfilled promisesPress 4 for All other inquiries.If your prayers are still not answered, dial '0' and ask for Naradmuni."Or, if all Gods were busy, you might hear this:"We are sorry, all Gods are busy helping other Bhaktas and Sinners. However, your  prayer is important to us and your prayer will be answered in the order it was received.Please stay on line. One of the Gods will be with you soon."Or, it could even go this way when you start praying:"If you know your God's extension, dial it now...."Or, you might hear this:"If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.For Lord Krishna, Press 3.To confess your sins, press 4.To ask for favors, Press 5."Or, you might even hear this:"You have reached Lord Krishna's extension.. I am going to be away to conduct a specialyuddha to save the humanity and will be away until the year 2012. If this is somethingurgent and cannot wait until then, call Shankara at GB +44 779000020000 Call. If youwant to speak to someone else, for other gods' directory, Press 6 now."

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