By: betsisanders

I love flowers. I love painting flowers.

I also love receiving flowers. Give me
flowers when I can still touch and
smell them; when my eyes can still
see and appreciate their beauty. Do
not send flowers when I die. Send
them now, when I am well and able
to than you.
!the classic
ballerinas are
always on tiptoe
because they are at
the same time
touching the earth
and reaching for
the sy" #aulo
$oelho
Inspired by a
painting on display
at the %arina
%andarin &otel
Singapore.
!Dream on, follow '
live your dreams.
Be yourself ' catch
that star. Don(t
stop at dreaming.
%ae life happen."
)he sunny ballerina is still
at the springtime of her life,
as I hope to still be in mine.
In reality, I am at the
autumn of life. It is at this
point of my insignificant life
that I value friendship more
than anything. *ccdg to
$icaro, !In order to have a
true friendship with
someone, one must have
complete honesty, truth,
and trust. &e said that
friends would do things for
each other without
e+pectation of repayment.
Inspired by the movie
!)he Blac Swan", one of
the most intense movies
I have watched so far. It
is only in death that
perfection is attained,
where there is lasting
peace ' everlasting calm.
Death ends all suffering.
)he blac swan, frail '
obsessive, fell into
madness, blurred by her
perception of reality,
driven by her desire to be
perfect, attained
perfection in death.
,e die everyday. ,e sleep,
regenerate. -ie the caterpillar
that builds a cocoon, hides '
sleeps for days, to come out
more beautiful, ma.estic,
elegant; have become a better
version of its old self.
)his is how she sees death, a
metamorphosis, a rebirth. ,e
will become butterflies with
beautiful wings, who can fly '
soar, be an inspiration for
writers, poets, musicians,
painters.
,e are near the end of our lives,
.ust lie the caterpillar in !*lice
in ,onderland", who said, !I(ll
see you in my ne+t life."
/n dreams 0 other
people cannot
mae your dreams
come true 0
only you can 1
Being lied by a lot of people
is popularity;
Being significant in
someone(s life is more
important;
Be an inspiration to others;
Inspire others in art 0 being
happy is not as important
as maing other people
happy,
Dance ballerina1 2our art
inspires. By e+pressing
yourself, you not .ust mae
yourself happy, but mae
others happier.
-ive, love and Dance1
!)o start a day is .ust
lie painting, draw
the lines with
prayers, erase errors
with forgiveness, dip
the brush with lots of
patience, color it with
love"
I read this in #aulo
$oelho(s blog. *
certain 3ayeeta wrote
this. Simply Beautiful1
,hile watching the biography of 4incent
4an Gogh on the Bio$hannel, one
tran5uil morning, the narrator said,
!4an Gogh never sold a painting '
gave away all of his paintings. /ne
recipient even used his painting for
target shooting." I found myself in
tears again.
Small minded people, unappreciative,
do not see the goodness, intentions,
aspirations, dreams of artists. )he
artist(s creations, may be a
photograph, poem, song, casserole
dish, cae, table setting, fruits in a
bowl, a $hristmas tree or a painting.
)hese are simple e+pressions of the
artist(s soul.
!*rt is the power aimed at developing
the soul."
0 stripped of all pretensions,
bare, naed, taen apart,
where only her truth is
revealed, where only her soul
e+ists. She dismantled all the
walls she built in her entire
life; is free from the dictates of
other people; found solace in
being; is tran5uil; content in
being simple, or simply being;
where grief, anger, loneliness,
discomfort and pain are things
of her past; has overcome her
fear of aging; lives a full happy
life; ready to face the
inevitable; that thing which is
certain. She came into this
world naed and shall leave
the same.
*midst conflict ' chaos,
surrounded by the noise of
life; living with uncertainty, the
ballerina sits0 is cheerful,
content and secure.
She has learned to cope, to not
complain, to suffer in silence '
to count her blessings instead
of suling ' crying all the
time. She is beyond playing the
victim, the suffering patient.
She transformed her pain into
paintings, prose ' caes. She
learned to be 5uiet, not bother
those around her with her
troubles. She lessened the load
that she carried, and thought
0 !if life hands her lemons ,
she will mae lemon s5uares".
* benefit of age, of being
golden,
0 is nowing how to ignore what
others thin or say;
0 is being courageous to stand
up on my own ' not be
intimidated with other people(s
opinions;
0 is doing what my heart
desires;
0 is fulfilling my dreams now;
0 reali6ing that there isn(t much
time left and that my time and
end is near.
So dear friend 0 I leave you my
art, for you to eep in your
heart, where I shall remain
forever.
/verwhelming sadness0 I now how it
felt, I now how it hurt. I used to
wae up in the middle of the night
screaming, not remembering the
dream. I wae and reali6e she(s
gone. I close my eyes, try to go bac
to sleep, but sleep evades me. She is
in a better place. Death ended her
suffering, a relief. 2et it hurts to
now that I will never hug her again.
I cry in the shower so no one will hear
me scream. I wait for everyone to
fall asleep, so I can fall apart. I hide
my pain and pretend that everything
is fine. I eep silent even if I want to
shout.
I smile, but every breathe I tae is
painful. It is not easy to be
enveloped with overwhelming
sadness.
I miss my 7anay.
I blamed myself for
everything that had gone
wrong in my life. It was
all my fault and I cried
bucets. I thought I was
not smart enough, not
pretty enough, not rich
enough, not good
enough, not enough.
)hen, I blamed others. It
wasn(t all my fault. It
taes two to tango, two
to fight and two to mae
things right.
I had seen their true faces; I new she was self centered, selfish,
narcissistic; I new she was user friendly and immoral. I new she
gossiped, is a social climber. I new she was good for nothing, a
pathologic liar, a leech, a cheat, an adulterer, a 8mistress( 0 but I gave
e+cuses for her behavior.
I hoped that maybe, in time, she will change.
I gave her permission to be in my life.
,hen I was betrayed and hurt by a loved one, a friend, now frenemy, a
sister 0 I ased, ! why didn(t I see9 &ow can I be a dolt9 *m I really that
stupid9"
I am responsible for what others bring into my life. I am the only one who
gets to say what goes on in my life. If people hurt me, it(s because I
allowed them.
Iyanla said, !,hen cra6y comes into your own family, or within your circle
of friends, is it oay to wal away and never have a relationship with
them9" *s a child, I stayed. *s a grown up, I waled away. Iyanla advised
to release my story. I can have a good relationship with them within
myself, not necessarily have a physical relationship. By continuing to be
angry means I still care and wish to go bac to the way it was.
&ow do I now I have forgiven9 0 when I don(t feel
anything anymore; when I have no more
emotions; when I can tal about the past and not
be upset;0 it is .ust as it is.
I will also forgive myself for .udging myself. I will
let go of the guilt that I did something wrong and
then let go of the shame, that there is something
wrong with who I am. I will let go and let God.
,hen I turn my bac, wal away, close my door
and eep it shut, it means that I value my peace
of mind and myself more. )hey are .ust not
worthy of my time and my love. I(ll eep them in
my heart but not in my life. :betsisanders ;<=;
0 not where you
studied, your diplomas
or degrees; not where
you live or what cars
you drive; not the
designer clothes, bags
or .ewelry you flaunt;
not where you shop or
dine; not the 8who(s
who( in society you rub
elbows with; not even
the church where you
worship.
Some are defined by their parents, siblings, partners or
their children.
I watched a show where they featured a man, a medical
doctor, whose wife and two daughters were raped,
murdered and burned to death. &e said that his life
revolved around his family and now that they have
passed, he is lost. &e is stripped of everything that
defined him.
,hat matters9 ,hat counts9 0 when everything is
gone, when all that(s left is you 0 bare, naed,
stripped.
,hat matters is one(s personal integrity, honesty,
truthfulness, values and principles.
,hen there is nothing left, 0 ,ae up, get up, show up
to the world with integrity, indness and gratitude.
)o laugh as often as I can, )o giggle or chucle 0 and not
whimper, sob or weep, and hope to never shed another
tear.
)o grab every chance on happiness, )o dance to the music
that life plays, )o sing or hum along with life(s melodies.
)o receive all that life gives me, )o accept, even if it could
brea my heart, )o learn from these heartaches.
)o grab every opportunity to mae myself a better, more
caring and more loving individual, )o gain and benefit
from life(s blessings.
)o endure the suffering caused by failed relationships, )o
bear the pain from the holes in my heart, )o allow others
to mend and fill up these holes, )o heal and forgive fast.
)o never be angry, hurt or lonely.
)o never despair and lose hope.
$alm ;<=; is the si+th among the series of
!)he *rt of $alm" mini>boos.
/ther mini>boos are:
!Be Still and Simple"
!)he *rt of -ife"
!)he *rt of &appiness"
!)he *rt of *waening"
!-ive, -ove and Be &appy"
: betsisanders ;<=;
)o not fear death, Instead 0 to start living.
)o want or desire some things and let the universe help
in obtaining all these wishes.
)o pray and always be thanful, )o someday be with
those loved ones who have gone ahead, )o tae my
place, my reserved seat beside my $reator.
)o be remembered by you, )o be ept in your heart
always, )o now my life(s purpose and .ourney that
has brought meaning in my life.
So dear friend, stay safe.
,hen the time comes that I cannot be with you.
?eep me in your heart ,,, and remember that every drop
of rain is a teardrop from my heart. : betsisanders