☻There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
- Clint Eastwood
☻The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake
- Unknown.
☻A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
- Marvin Kitman
☻Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx
☻After
marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they staytogether. - Hemant Joshi
☻A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
☻The secret of a happy marriage remains
a secret. - Henry Youngman
☻Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
- Mae West
☻The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him
- Cher
☻I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. An
d by then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann
☻I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that
growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
☻I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
- Dorothy Parker
☻When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
☻Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, a
nd half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin
☻Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
☻By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates
☻A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted
- Helen Rowland
☻Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
☻All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedi
es by a marriage. - Lord Byron
☻Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman
☻Marriage is an
adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
☻My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
☻I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield
☻I like
to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow
☻Marriage is like pi
- natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman
☻To the bride and groom
- may we all be invited to your golden wedding celebrations...
☻To the NewlyWeds: May 'for b
etter or worse' be far better than worse.
☻To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage
...Here's to good sense of humor and a short memory!
☻Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always t
ry to get thelast two words in: "Yes dear"
☻You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it.
☻May the best of your past be the worst of your future
☻Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most o
f yours be between the sheets!
☻May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment
☻To our wives and lovers...may they never meet!
☻Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an app
reciation of your determination to end thedesperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make acombination to bring an accumulation to the population.
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