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Grey Matter Network January 2013 Heart of Resolution Failure Newsletter

Grey Matter Network January 2013 Heart of Resolution Failure Newsletter

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Published by: Jennifer Norris-Nielsen on Jan 03, 2013
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 Grey Matter Network Pte Ltd. ©2012 Jennifer Norris-Nielsen - jennifer@greymatternetwork.com 
January 2013: The Heart of Resolution Failure
Well, we’re facing another new year, another twelve months that we hav
e yet to live, so most peopleare talking about resolutions or new goals and directions for 2013. As you know, I usually like to phrasein the positive, but
I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a few moments and ask “why are many of thechanges you’d like to make this year, ones that you wanted to make last year?”, “when are the ‘to do’items set out in January going to ‘be done’ by December?”What has been stopping you from getting to where you want to be, to be the person you’d most desire to be?
 So, rather than give you tips on how to set goals for the year (
I’m sure you’ve already got a number of them in your inbox already), I’m going to outline a
simple exercise that you can do yourself which mightreveal some interesting fundamental blocks that are getting in your way of shifting towards greaterhealth
, happiness, success, (fill in the blank)…
Our aim is to get to the heart of it, so you can shift thedirection or dimension of your life in a way you choose, now.
Setting yourself up for Reflection and Realisation (rather than another year of failed resolutions)
As a hypnotherapist, my career is helping to guide people through processes that release perceivedlimitations, work through misperceptions, and replace old tapes/programs with more supportive or
productive ones. This is what I do. As you might have noticed, I mentioned ‘guide’ because I don’t force
people into hypnosis
one of my main roles is to create a space where people can access their ownsubconscious mind and discover the resources they need to make the changes they need and want.
that means that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis.
Let’s think about most resolutions –
we talk about ‘trying’ to lose weight, seeing whet
her or not we can learnsomething new, or start a better habit or spend more quality time with others (or a whole list of options
here), but there’s often, below the optimism sometimes encouraged by a bottle of bubbly, that negative
that says “I’ve heard this before, but have you ever done it? No. Doubt you’ll do it this year.” And that
voice hypnotises us into believing that our past failures are the way it will always be in the future.
While I don’t believe this is true (or I wouldn’t be doing what
I’m doing) please understand that anyfailures at change because you told yourself you couldn’t only means that you’re fantastic at self 
hypnosis already! That’s what you’ve been doing, so we just need to change the thought/feeling/patternthat was ‘supporting’ you negatively, into one that can truly support you positively.
Quick ground rules:
Time and space for yourself 
make sure that you’ve allocated a place and a few minutes where
you can close your eyes and focus on yourself. Lock the door, get outside, whatever you need todo to give yourself space to reflect.
Safety and Focus first 
s easier to focus on this when your eyes are closed, so stay safe. Please
don’t be driving or in a place where you need to divide your focus.
Bedtime, Perfect Time
with the first rules done, the easiest way to fulfill both is to do this asyou are getting ready to sleep, when you are ready to drift off in bed. Or, just as you are wakingup in the morning, setting your direction for the day before you get up and fully awake.
 Grey Matter Network Pte Ltd. ©2012 Jennifer Norris-Nielsen - jennifer@greymatternetwork.com 
Focus on ONE change
when we have a laundry list of things to change, we dilute our ability toget to a destination effectively. As they say
you can
t chase two rabbits at once
so focus onone change you
d like to make and then when you
ve succeeded, start with another.
Be easy 
you’re starting something new –
this is something that develops over time, like muscles.If you have some trouble with the heavy lifting at the beginning, just support yourself and realizethat over time and with some practi
ce you’ll get better and better at it. And because you areworth it, you’ll be able to be a bit more compassionate with yourself during this change process.
Who’s in Charge
of Not Changing? (Step 1)
If the change that you want to make is on a resolution list, there
s a part of you that really wants this tohappen
yet there may be something within you holding you back. Ok
if you
re in your forties, under170cm/5
and female, maybe there are some good reasons that I
m not playing in the NBA, but I
mtalking about goals that may be a stretch, but have some essence of possibility in them.So let
s focus on the block. Once you have the rules in place, take a few minutes and close your eyes.Think about the change you
re NOT able to make yet and notice any feelings (emotions or sensations) inyour body. Realise that the aspect of you that is
your shift is probably doing it for a verygood reason
even though that older, protective part/habit may not be helping you anymore. With anopenness and gentle curiosity, find out what some of the reasons for the
holding back
usually itcomes up as a word or a statement for me, but others experience it visually within themselves.
Crazy Talk (Step 2
or two steps back?)
Often my conscious mind gets in the way and thinks
well, that
s just silly
, but then I give myself aninternal hug and realize that it
s not so silly to my subconscious. Sometimes it forms to help or protectus when we have less information than we need to deal with something in the past, sometimes it
s a
that was transferred from another person when we were younger (
this is the way the worldworks
says Dad/Mom/Teacher and we believe them completely), sometimes there
s a trade off (even if  just in our minds) that we may not have been willing to exchange. For example, with a change in bodyshape (lose weight) may come an additional cost of having to buy a new wardrobe. If money seemstight, that might be a good enough reason for the mind not to release extra weight.
Alternative Realities (step 3, 4
With that in mind, you can start an internal conversation about shifting old adages, compassionatelyfinding alternative ways of getting what the inner-check (no longer seen as a deterrent) needs andwants, and planning
baby steps
towards success in change.Even if you don
t have a full plan right away, sometimes getting to know some of the reasoning behindthe delay can be heartening. If we understand some of the underlying programs that have been running,our
inability to achieve our resolutions can be better explained. At the same time, while itmight not be your fault that you
re in the position you
re in, you now have to take responsibility withthat new knowledge.

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