Does This Count as Cheating?
What if your wife befriended someone unknown to you on Facebook? What about your
husband‟s phone always being locked? Is there a problem if your spouse goes
out for lunches with a co-worker? Or in general, is a little flirting is okay? Can the use of pornharm a relationship? Where do you draw the line between harmless fun and damage totrust?Cheating on someone is defined by the one betrayed. It can take different forms andresult in anywhere between hurt and disaster. For some it may be an internet excursion,
coffee, or a kiss. For others, it is defined by sex. In the case of “harmless fun,” maybeit‟s not so much what is said or done, but how you feel after
ward that sets the stage for wanting more. It is an emotional connection that lays the groundwork for a physicalconnection. For most, infidelity is both a reflection of character and breakdown in your relationship.
Definitions of “cheating” differ from re
lationship to relationship. For most, secrecy isparamount to the definition, along with engaging in an activity that is robbed from therelationship. Maybe you are opening up to someone at work, or at the gym, but findingyourself rushed for time when it comes to sitting down with your partner.If such an interaction with another is hidden, or not mentioned to your partner, it givesyou the chance to hide the relationship if something questionable develops in the future.Other hidden communications include passwords, site destinations, or even innocentconversations that are not mentioned. There may be a reason it is not mentioned.How does it feel when interacting? Is there a feeling of excitement or anticipation? Doyou do anything differen
t for this person that you don‟t do for others, including your
partner? Does it reflect something that is missing in your relationship? Sometimes relationships begin to break down before we realize it. Not being there for your partner can be subtle or obvious, but starts in small ways. Marital researchers suchas John Gottman, CarylRusbult and Shirley Glass have described steps towardinfidelity.