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Foreword
 Mel Silberman
H
e ran up to me at the end of a conference session, grabbed my hand, andshook it vigorously. “That was a stellar presentation, Mr. Silberman. You arean extraordinary storyteller; thank you for sharing your gift with us this after-noon.” He pressed a business card into my hand and walked away before I evenhad to chance thank him for his comments. Later that night I emptied the contentsof my pocket and found his card. Hm . . . I thought to myself, “Terrence L.Gargiulo, president of MAKINGSTORIES.net.” That’s interesting. I wonder whathe does. That was over seven years ago. Since then I have learned quite a bit aboutthis extraordinary facilitator.As Terrence was preparing to write this book, he asked me whether I would beinterested in working with him on the project. The link between my passions forexperiential and active learning was clear, but I was at a loss as to how I couldhelp him. He was quick to remind me, “Mel, you do this stuff all the time. You’re brilliant at it, and it’s so easy for you.”“Alright, Terrence, that’s all well and good and thanks for the flattery, but I’mnot sure if I can teach people how to do this—that’s your bailiwick,” I responded.“Besides, if I am an effective communicator with stories, I am completely uncon-scious of what I am doing and how I am doing it. Give me an example of what Ido so well that you appreciate.”Never one to turn down a challenge, Terrence replied, “Okay. Do you remem- ber the discussion you were leading last week on how to understand people duringyour PeopleSmart workshop?”“Yes. . . . What about it?”“When people were struggling with the techniques and tools you were pre-senting, you began to elicit people’s experiences. In ten minutes you amassed thisrich collection of people’s stories. Without judging any of them, you probed thegroup with reflective questions. People started working with each other’s storiesand within moments connections, lessons, parallels, insights, and advice startedpouring out of everyone’s mouths. The energy was contagious, and the excitementin the room was unbelievable. Then you masterfully helped the group distill andorganize the flood of information. The link between the workshop’s material and
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people’s day-to-day struggles with understanding other people jumped alive. Youused stories to tickle their imaginations.”I was still a little puzzled by Terrence’s passionate display of enthusiasm. Ipressed him further, “That’s an interesting observation. Tell me more.”“Look, Mel, I know this way of communicating is second-nature to you. Yousee stories are pervasive—they are all around us. Stories are how we communicate,learn, and think, but knowing how to leverage their power is a latent capacity thatremains dormant in most of us. In order for people to experience breakthroughcommunication skills, this potential needs to be unleashed. That’s our job. That’swhy I get up in the morning.”“Right now, Terrence, you are tiring me out. I think this is a project you shouldtackle on your own. You have my blessing, and I even promise to write a forewordfor this prodigious undertaking. I can’t wait to see how you craft this book.” Sohere I am writing the foreword.
Once Upon a Time: Using Story-Based Activities to Develop BreakthroughCommunication Skills
serves a dual purpose: it will show you how to developexceptional communication skills and it will serve as an invaluable resource forhelping others do the same. I can’t say enough about this book or the uniquefacilitation talents of Terrence. In my humble opinion, this book is destined to become a classic.
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Foreword 
 
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1
Techniques for Workingwith Stories
S
tories go hand in hand with effective communication. In this chapter we begin by looking at the relationship between stories and experiential learning.Developing breakthrough communication skills in ourselves and others benefitsfrom a synergistic relationship between the two. Next we examine a simple frame-work for how stories function. This is a well-established communication frameworkthat I have developed (see my book
The Strategic Use of Stories in OrganizationalCommunication and Learning
). It offers us a workaround to the near-impossible taskof agreeing on what constitutes a story. Following the framework, we explore fivelevels on which stories operate. The chapter ends with nine communication groundrules and some techniques to guide us when we are working with stories.
Stories and Experiential Learning
According to the Association of Experiential Education, experiential learning is“the process through which a learner constructs knowledge, skill, and valuefrom direct experience.” Reflection is also a central part of many definitions.Experiential learning immerses us into a sea of participatory engagement withunchartered domains of knowledge. Stories possess the potential to gift us withnew-found wisdom. They offer a wealth of opportunities for surfacing insights. Inother words, stories are stimuli for triggering the imaginative production of en-gaging models of learning that can be synthesized by tellers and listeners. Storiesare exciters of learning and containers of meaning that we can unpack to shed newlight on ourselves.Experiential learning occurs when we impregnate the environment with possi- bilities. Our stories catalyze the petri dish of learning. We are experimenting with
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