Coping
with
Infertility
2
So you’ve both decided that you’re going to take that big step, good for you! Now that you’ve ditched yourbirth control and started charting your ovulation, getting pregnant will be a cinch, right? Or maybe it’s not always as simple as our mothers told us that it would be…Ten percent of Americans are said to suffer from infertility. Infertility is not just a physical defect or achemical imbalance. For you and your partner it can mean wave after wave of difficult decisions, awkwardsocial questions, and volumes of uninvited advice from self‐ordained experts. Unfortunately, we don’t have asay in whether we are one of the couples that will experience infertility.Often times we get so wrapped up in the physical aspects of infertility that we neglect to care for ouremotional being, not for lack of the faithful “just relax” mantra that seems to follow us wherever we go.Depression is common in women and men that are experiencing infertility. It is easy to allow ourselves not only to allow our fertility problems to overwhelm us, but also to assign blame to either ourselves or ourpartners. Learning to cope with infertility is just as important as learning to overcome infertility itself.
The
Emotional
Journey
of
Infertility
Though you may well understand what your doctor has told you, there is still a journey that many make overand over when they are learning to live with infertility. There are eight steps that are commonly associatedwith this journey: surprise, denial, stress & anxiety, anger, self‐blame, isolation, grief & depression, andultimately acceptance.
•
Surprise
When your doctor first tells you that your problems conceiving are related to infertility, it's natural that yourinitial reaction may be shock or surprise. Thoughts like, "How could this happen?", or "This isn't supposed tohappen to me!" may overcome you. In the years that we spend in preparation for our own families it's likelythat nobody ever mentioned the possibility of infertility. For some, the first emotion experienced is relief orhopefulness. Knowledge of infertility gives them an answer to why they have been having difficulty in tryingto conceive. Hope can be rekindled in knowing that you are not doing something wrong, and understandingthat there are options available.
•
Denial
Since most do not consider that 1 in 6 women and 1 in 4 men suffer from infertility when they decide to havea family of their own, the information will most likely have difficulty resonating in their minds. Denial is aself‐defense mechanism that we use to insulate ourselves from painful knowledge. The voice within mayreassure you that you are a healthy man or woman, and that you can't possibly be infertile.
It
just
doesn't
make
sense!
Denial in extremes can drive people to ignore treatment options, or go from specialist tospecialist looking for someone to assure them of their fertility. Some never make it past denial.
•
Stress
&
Anxiety
In their search for answers to
why
this would happen to them, stress and anxiety related to the knowledge of infertility often follows denial. The images of familial bliss, such as families at the park and pregnant womenin the grocery store, can be very stressful for you to witness. These experiences may always be somewhat painful, but in this stage these emotions are amplified. From the anxiety of wondering if you did somethingwrong, to the fear of never being able to conceive, to a plethora of advice and ignorant comments, to theanticipatory anxiety of each new cycle, stress can strain both your relationships and your faith.
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Please visit http://www.conceivableworld.com for more helpful information related to infertility and difficulty conceiving.