4.It is important that every Wednesday, as soon as possible after PMQs – or before it, if you prefer – you criticise the Dark Lordfor refusing to answer any of David’s questions. The more of you who make this claim, the less transparent it will be thatthere is a David’s Party strategy afoot.5.Try to highlight, at every opportunity, any disagreement betweengovernment ministers, even on policy or philosophical detail.Such disagreements must be described as “splits”, “rivalries”,disunity”, etc.6.Try to dismiss, at every opportunity, any disagreement betweenDavid and Ken Clarke, even on substantial policy or philosophical matters. Such disagreements must be described as“healthy debate”, “openness”, “normal blokes having adiscussion, innit?”, etc7.If possible, stick to the “Labour inherited a golden legacy” line.If an enemy comment points out that even after thegovernment’s stimulus package, national debt as a percentage of GDP is still less than in May 1997, say that “every Labour government leaves office with higher unemployment than whenit entered” and then scarper.8.Feel free to become very indignant on David’s behalf – furious,even – when any Labour blogger describes David as “Do-nothing”. Our party has a rich history and proud record of doingnothing in the face of recessions. It is nothing to be ashamed of.9.It is well-known that the very apotheosis of Wildean humour inthe political blogosphere is to spell Labour as “LieBore” or toequate the government with Robert Mugabe’s Zanu PF party (ie,Zanu-Labour). This not only incredibly clever and witty, but itreminds the public that, although we did bugger all to opposeapartheid, we now have a conscience when it comes to southernAfrican nations.
Leave a Comment