More From This User
Love and War
The daughter of a friend gets married before going to Iraq.
April Fool
In which I set myself on fire.
Love and War
by Anne Marcotty page
Love and War
Courtney is a beguiling young woman, a petite twenty year old with honey-coloredhair, awless skin, and abulous green eyes. She is quick and bright, sassy and willul,unny and sweet. o her amily’s surprise and dismay—and her mother’s utter hor-ror—Courtney is going to war. A little more than a year ago, Courtney’s mother, Erin, wrote to me with the newsthat Courtney had enlisted in the army or ve years’ active duty. She said that be-sides the act that her baby was leaving home, (“which sucks mightily”), she had very mixed eelings about her daughter’s decision to enlist. “She doesn’t support the war,or Bush,” Erin wrote, “but sees the Army as a way to avoid college, which she’s not re-ally ‘eeling’ right now, and avoid having the years slip away as a customer service repat her current job at a car dealership (no blame or that one). She wants a plan, all laidout, a career, challenges, ree room and board, decent pay, ree college, a sign on bonuso $4k, and travel. She’s oregoing any ethical, moral, or philosophical considerationsabout being part o the war machine in avor o the above.” What’s a mother to do? Erin and her mother—Courtney’s grandmother, Joan—hatched a plot to kidnap Courtney and not let her go. It was preposterous, o course,though it seemed reasonable at the time. Far more reasonable, in act, than enlistingin the military at a time o war. Instead o a kidnapping, they arranged private mili-tary interventions, like drug interventions, with trusted riends and amily takingCourtney out, pulling her aside, sitting her down, having a heart-to-heart, trying totalk some sense into her. All to no avail. Courtney would do what Courtney would do.In the end, Erin had to concede that, “...the truth is, I raised a pretty well adjusted,independent thinking young woman and this seems like a good idea to her. I guremy job as her parent is now to support her and accept the whole thing. Fuuuuuck.”On the day that Courtney was to go o to basic training, Erin woke her with aresolute “happy going into the army day.” Erin shed a ew tears on the way to therecruiting oce, but she allowed hersel to be cheered up by Courtney’s palpable ex-citement. Te young guys at the recruiting oce were unny and nice and made Erineel that somehow it wouldn’t be so horrible ater all. She kissed Courtney goodbye,got back in her car and drove home, with her goodbye smile rozen on her ace like amask. She put away the breakast things, let the dogs in, checked her e-mail, smoked acigarette, and then went into Courtney’s room and lost it. otally. She sat on the bedand howled into her daughter’s velveteen rabbit.Tree months later, Courtney came home on leave. Erin described her as her oldbouncy sel, but with a new-ound sel assurance. “Plus,” she added, “she now calls all women ‘Ma’am.’” Tey were going to try and get through the next stage by being in
love_and_war.indd 11/27/07 10:52:39 AM
Love and War
by Anne Marcotty page
the moment and not saying the word Iraq, but it hovered in the air between them likea blimp, and the more Erin tried not to think o Iraq, the more she thought o Iraqand how her baby, her rst-born, her beautiul child did not belong there, under any circumstances. Joan counseled Erin to, “take it as it comes... let’s wait and see... wedon’t know or sure yet what’ll happen.” Which only made Erin more miserable. Shedidn’t want to have to be so reasonable and supportive; she wanted to wail and carry on and give in to good old ashioned, sel-indulgent hysteria.But she didn’t. She soldiered on, making good use o the thousands o dollars shehad spent on therapy over the years, using her coping strategies and being sel-actual-ized. And while Erin soldiered on at home, Courtney the soldier went o to learn how to be a military interrogator. According to GlobalSecurity.org, an interrogator’s job is “... to obtain usable andreliable inormation, in a lawul manner and in the least amount o time, which meetsintelligence requirements o any echelon o command.” o that end, Courtney, andher ellow trainees had to learn about the culture, the language, the customs, the histo-ry, and the expectations o their target country, namely, Iraq. Tey also learned how tohandle themselves with the same degree o ocus and objectivity no matter whether thesource be neutral and nonpartisan or hostile and antagonistic. Tey learned to handleclassied inormation, and how to respond to nonverbal cues, and they received specialtraining on Subversion and Espionage Directed Against the Enemy (SEDAE). By thetime she nished her training, Courtney not only knew how to identiy, mark, handle,and control sensitive material, but she had become amiliar with the capabilities, limi-tations, and employment o standard weapons and equipment including small arms,inantry support weapons, artillery, aircrat, vehicles, communications equipment, andNBC deense. All this, or a girl who hadn’t been “eeling college.”Despite the nature o the education her child was receiving—not to mentionthe impending deployment to the Middle East—Erin elt a measure o pride orCourtney’s achievements. Te military is nothing i not up ront about its codes o behavior and standards o perormance. Everyone knows, somehow, that you can’t getthrough that kind o training by being a ditz. “She can be such a spaceshot, though;I’m so araid she’ll leave her grenade, or whatever, in the barracks,” Erin told me,laughingly (somewhat hysterically, I thought at the time). “She’ll remember her lipgloss, though.”“Tat will have to be her commanding ocer’s problem,” I said. “You need to letgo. Put her in the light, and keep her there.”“And where would that light be emanating rom? Just to clariy,” she asked.“Te light o the Universe; the light o positive energy, o good karma... you know.”
love_and_war.indd 21/27/07 10:52:40 AM
Love and War
by Anne Marcotty page
“Right. I knew that,” she said, not at all convinced.Easy or me to say. My rstborn—and only—daughter is just going into highschool this year. I have my private worries about this, but they can’t begin to compare.How does one be a riend with such unequal experiences?Erin is my oldest riend. In the mid ’60s, when we were six, or so, our parents hadgone to the Unitarian church in search o other like-minded, arty liberals like them-selves, who were ew and ar between where we lived in suburban Detroit at that time.Tey became riends and she and I became riends. Erin’s parents, Bob and Joan, hadthree boys and a girl; my parents, Michael and ania, had three girls and a boy. When we got together, our parents would have wine and cheese and conversation in our re-spective book-lined living rooms while we kids made up stories and games and playedschool. My sister, Fiona, was always the teacher.Over the years, Erin’s amily has been dealt more than their air share o dicul-ties. During one such time, Erin came to stay at our house, going to my school duringthe week, and returning home on weekends. We became as close as sisters. We had asecret language; we dressed up and acted out silly plays, and danced to Beatles records. We ought, argued, and made up constantly.Erin and her amily moved to Colorado in 97. She and I wrote letters and calledeach other, and shared our teenage secrets. Ten they moved to ucson; Erin and I gotthrough high school, (not without a ew scars to show or it), and we kept in touch. When Erin married Bo in 98, I ew to ucson to help with her wedding. When Imarried Joe in 990, Erin ew to Boston to help with my wedding. She had a daugh-ter and a son, and then I had a daughter and a son. While we haven’t always been there or each other’s milestones, (we have sometimesgone several years without a word) when we do reconnect, it’s like riding a bicycle. Weremember instantly how to be riends.I remember the night in January 986, when Erin called to tell me aboutCourtney’s birth. She said, “Okay, I have three words: ake the drugs. I don’t care what they say about natural childbirth and how it’s a beautiul thing to be in touch with yoursel and your baby and the process and the blah, blah, blah. It hurts likehell.” She laughed. “But on the brighter side,” she continued, “I have a beautiul littledaughter. She’s perect. She’s my heart.” And now her heart is being deployed to Iraq.I e-mailed Erin last week to let her know I was thinking o her with all my mightas she counted down to Courtney’s departure. She wrote back that Courtney had just dropped a bomb: instead o coming home on leave, as expected, she was goingto Massachusetts to marry Mike, a guy she’d been with or just ve months, and whom Erin had never met. Mike is another trained interrogator, scheduled to be sent
love_and_war.indd 31/27/07 10:52:41 AM
of 00
Love and War
The daughter of a friend gets married before going to Iraq.
358 Reads
Info and Rating
| Category: | |
| Rating: | |
| Upload Date: | 02/13/2009 |
| Copyright: | Attribution Non-commercial |
| Tags: |
Leave a Comment