Continued
Daycare
Noncompliance & disobedience was defined as“defiant, uncooperative, fails to carry out assignedtasks, temper tantrums, and disrupts classdiscipline.” Assertiveness meant“bragging/boasting, talks too much,demands/wants attention, and argues a lot.” All of these behaviors increased the longer the child wasaway from the mother.While older preschoolers in day carerequire somewhat lessmaintenance, they alsoget crowded into larger groups—typically fromeight to 15 youngsters per adult. This alsoresults in inadequatecare. The averagetoddler makes 10overtures an hour to his primary caretaker,according to studies. Aday care worker responsible for 10 toddlers would thus be facedwith an overture every 35 seconds. Obviouslymost will be ignored. The assistance, praise, rule-teaching, discipline, and reinforcement that one- tothree-years-olds need will often not be provided.In my counseling work, it is very commonto find out that my drug abusing client did nothave a good attachment as a child. Now, thiscertainly does not mean that one causes the other.However, the
correlation
cannot be ignored.Some of my clients do not know how to handlestress in the least bit. Day cares have beenaccused of creating unnatural stressfulenvironments. In fact, levels of cortisol, achemical indicating stress, rose as the day went onfor children in day care. This is significant because normally, people’s cortisol level startshigh and lowers throughout the day. Theresearchers were… stressed at these findings,reporting “…this study raises questions about thedegree of stress that toddlers and preschoolersexperience in all-day group day-care settings.”Eventually, Jay Belsky former colleague andopponent Allison Clarke-Stewart said that day carekids “are less polite, less agreeable, less respectfulof others’ rights, more irritable, more rebelliousand more aggressive with their peers.” Finally aconsensus, right? Well, not exactly. Clarke-Stewart would go on to admire the children’s’independent spirit and excuse their misbehavior:“Children who have been in day care think for themselves and want their own way… They arenot willing to comply with adults’ arbitrary rules.” Now we are getting to the heart of the manner.Adults are continuously making excusesfor the behavior of children. In this instance, thechildren are described as being independent,wanting to “think for themselves.” This sort of stupidity breeds more misbehavior. We are back to adults misbehaving, again! And is it a wonder,anymore, why kids are so messed up? -RMH
Continued
Know Your ABC's. .
.
If we believe that things outside of us cancause us to feel a certain way, then we don’t havemuch power. In fact, we are completely at themercy of… well everything! If it rains then I amgoing to feel bad. If my car gets a flat, then I amgoing to have a bad day. But is any of this true?Does it even work very well? The A-B-C modelof thinking explains that it is our thoughts thatcause those emotions. Whether the emotions aregood or bad, they are caused by our thoughts.People are so used to thinking of this the wrongway. People tend to tell me that they have nocontrol over what they think... that these negativethoughts simply “pop in my head”. What is reallywww.RobertCassman.com3
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