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It marks a time for assuming responsibility.

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Rev.11/08The Bar Mitzvah experience has roots dating back to the 14

Century. This is the moment when achild demonstrates his/her ability to fulfill the responsibilities of an adult member of their Jewishcommunity. It is the time from which children are allowed to participate in the rituals associatedwith religious maturity. They are called up to the

Torah

for an

Aliyah

for the first time. They readthe

Maftir

(concluding section) from the

Torah

portion of the week and the accompanying

Haftorah

from the prophetic literature. They will also lead portions of the Friday evening and Saturdaymorning services.The term

Bar Mitzvah

literally means son (

bat

means daughter) of the commandments. (Throughoutthis booklet, the term “

Bar/Bat Mitzvah

” will be designated by the abbreviation “B/M” or “B/BMitzvah”.

Temple Beth Sholom

will be abbreviated as “TBS”.) According to Jewish law, B/BMitzvah is a state of responsibility automatically attained at the age of 12 for girls and 13 for boys.As a new stage in life is entered, it is marked with new obligations and new privileges.

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For observing the teachings of the

Torah

and

•

For gaining the right and obligation to take a full role in Jewish rituals in the homeand Synagogue

•

For observing such commandments as wearing a

tallit,

wrapping

tefillin

and fastingon Yom Kippur.

•

For being counted as part of a

Minyan

for prayer purposes.

21.

Perfect and punctual attendance at TBS religious school, the

T’fillah Skills Class

andindividual sessions is essential in the B/B Mitzvah training program. If your child attends aJewish day school, he/she is exempt from attending TBS religious school.

RULES AND SUGGESTIONS FOR PREPARATION OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FORPARENT AND CHILD

If a change in your regular appointment time is necessary, please contact our tutor at least 24hours in advance.3.

If you miss or cancel your session without 24 hours notice and without a valid reason, youwill be responsible to “pay” for it, i.e. it will be debited from your allotted total lessons. Inthe event of an EXTREME emergency, exceptions will be made.4.

If your regular tutoring time coincides with a legal or Jewish holiday during which theSynagogue offices are closed, your tutoring will be deferred to the following week at yourregular time. Tutoring will also be deferred during the tutor’s scheduled vacation and/or sick days. You will be given ample notice of vacation days that may affect you. If you have anyquestions or concerns about scheduling, please refer them to Cantor Friedman’s office.5.

It is IMPERATIVE that each child devotes some time daily to study and preparation inaddition to his/her formal training. Preparation and study at home is one of the mostimportant components of the student’s learning and growth process. A minimum of 1/2 hourof daily practice is suggested.

PARADIGMS FOR SUCCESSResponsibility:

PREPARATION =

STUDY

PRACTICE =

OUT LOUD

PRIORITIZE =

MAKE TIME

PROMPTNESS =

BE ON TIME

PROCESS =

ALLOW THE PROCESS TO UNFOLD

Attitude/

Kavanah

PASSION

: The more you want to do something, the more you will want to succeed.

POSITIVE ATTITUDETRUST AND FAITH IN YOURSELF

: Even if you think you don’t want to do something,taking the attitude that you do want to do it will vastly improve your chances of success.

MAKING CHOICES

: YOUR choices/ you OWN the experience.

PERSONAL CONNECTION:

Determine what this process means to YOU.

PRE B’NAI MITZVAH EDUCATION

Approximately 18 months before the B’nai Mitzvah date: Family meets with the Rabbi, Cantor,B/BM tutor Adam Brustein, B/BM coordinator, Education Director, Executive Director and theB/BM commission representative to review B/BM policies, B/BM training, role of the professionals,the temple, the family and the B’nai Mitzvah. At this time, if your child is identified as havingexceptional

tefillah

skills, s/he will be offered the opportunity to learn advanced sections of theservice that s/he may lead on the day of his/her simcha.Twelve months prior: Student will begin mandatory training in the

T’fillah/Brachot Skills class

along with other B’nai Mitzvah students. Once students have demonstrated proficiency in

T’fillah/Brachot skills

, they will start private tutoring.Six to Eight months prior: Private tutoring with Adam Brustein begins. At the training sessions, yourchild will receive a CD with

Torah

and

Haftarah

portions and trope clauses (how to chant). Yourchild will also receive a

B’nai Mitzvah Guidebook

and

Haftarah booklet.

Your child

MUST

bringthese materials with him/her to every tutorial.

There will be a small fee for the duplication of lost materials.

There will be up to 36 half-hour sessions of individual training with a tutor. The B/BMitzvah tutor will contact the parent to arrange for the child’s allotted time. The sessions CANNOTbe scheduled during the TBS religious school hours. There will be no tutoring sessions on observedJewish holidays and legal holidays. If you will be planning any prolonged vacations (summer orwinter), please discuss your dates with the tutor in advance so that your child’s tutoring will continuein a consistent manner.Two months prior: The student will begin meeting weekly with the Rabbi to prepare his/her

d’rash

and speeches. Please call the Rabbi’s office to schedule these appointments.One month prior: The Rabbi will make an appointment to meet with each B/B Mitzvah candidateand the family to discuss individual questions and concerns, and to review family participation in theservice.