• Embed Doc
  • Copy Link
  • Readcast
  • Collections
  • 1
    CommentGo Back
Download
 
15 things no man wants to hear... from awoman
Mick Hunter Sunday April 9, 2006The Observer 
 
1
Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex wasa violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. Andscared.
2
The phrase 'I'd say it's bang-on average, if not slightly bigger'. Best to steer clear of thesize issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding andhurt.
3
Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. Butthey dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathologicalobsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin.Eventually.
4
The accusing phrase, 'What's wrong with the blue dress, then?' after we have said welike the red one.
5
Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlesslyfascinating - the number of buttons on their shirts, farting - they will suddenly developADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually,even then...
6
Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy toadmire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us.
7
Stories about other men patronizing you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffleyour hair and say in a kids-TV voice, 'Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?' I know,sometimes we're asking for trouble.
8
The word 'Fine' as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the femalevocabulary.
9
The sound of weeping. It destroys us.
10
Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless roundof hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls' friendships mystifies us. If she's thatmuch trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile.
of 00

Leave a Comment

You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...
socialista

I hope I never encounter any men who follow this advice.

reply06 / 23 / 2007
You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...