- I'm going to exercise more - I'm going to lose
some weight - I will try to get rid of my bad
habits - I won't let little things get to me any
more - I'm going to start making wiser choices
about money

We all start out with the best of intentions but as
March 23rd rolls around we reflect on all the ways we've already let our goals slide. It's
easy to feel like we are letting ourselves and those we love down.

The concept of setting resolutions is worthy and helpful for most people. When you are
chronically ill, however, resolutions can be wearisome and even scary. Most of the time
our bodies and our health, therefore our lives, are out of our control. The effects of
chronic pain can be devastating I you dwell on it. Though losing five pounds a month
seems reasonable, a prescription of medication can quickly add on the pounds, despite
our best dieting efforts. Even small goals seem hopeless.

--> I'm going to exercise more . . . The only real exercise my body can handle is getting into a pool and the water temperature is just too cold at the local indoor pool - - even my doctor says so

--> I'm going to lose some weight . . . But a simple trip over a curb turns into a broken
bone and then the doctor puts you on steroids. Soon you just want to maintain your
weight and not gain even more.

First, if January passed you by and you didn't make any resolutions, congratulate
yourself! You've not broken any universal rule that say all new habits must begin January
2nd. January is a time for recovery: recovery from holidays, visiting relatives, travel, and
maybe all those medical visits you packed into December before your health insurance
deductibles start over in the New Year. If you've been able to get through the whole

Secondly, make some simple changes in your life that you resist calling "resolutions."
Instead of vowing to walk a half a mile each day, consider taking a walk and spending the
time praying, appreciating the birds and flowers, or getting to know some of your
neighbors. When you choose your snacks, reach for the high fiber, low calorie chips, and
resist the temptation to grab the party-size bag of sour cream and onion.

Thirdly, make a list of some of the things you value and want to strive for. Don't just say
you are going to "save some money" but instead, think about what you really want to
save it for. Have you longed to visit a relative but you've not been able to afford an airline
ticket to go visit? Though saving money to repair your car may not seem like a fun use of
that saved money, surely you value your freedom to have your own transportation. Put
your list on the refrigerator or your bathroom mirror so you can frequently recall just why
it is you are sacrificing those large white chocolate mochas.

Fourthly, team up with a friend who is also ill, to encourage one another in your practical
goals. Stress and illness is not a good combination and any change in our life (good or
bad) dramatically intensifies the strain. It's not helpful to have a healthy friend say, "Well,
maybe if you cut back on your calories more it would help. I noticed you had two bowls
of soup at lunch today." (Did she even notice that you completely resisted the temptation
of the basket of bread? And it had free refills!) Symptoms of illness are very
unpredictable and a friend who understands what you are experiencing is an amazing gift.
You will be able to keep a better perspective on your goals when a true friend says, "It's
so depressing when you lose the weight and then the medications make you blow back up
overnight. But hang in there. It won't last forever."

Fifth, give yourself a break. Depression and chronic pain go together way too often.
When you make a decision that is less than ideal, don't sweat it! Don't think of it as a
failure, but rather just a less than perfect choice you made for that moment. You will have
another sixty-something times in the next month to make the correct decision. Start out
by just aiming for making the correct one more than half the time. Skipping that shopping
spree or avoiding the drive-thru burger place is a step in the right direction.

Lastly, set goals that are fun too! Stress and illness is draining and not everything in our
lives needs to be fixed. There is no better chronic pain relief than adding more joy to your
life. Call people you've met in the past that you admire and ask them if they would have
breakfast with you. Go to the movies each month. And when you meet a step towards
your goal, such as cleaning out the closet to become more organized, reward yourself. Go
buy a chic new hat that brings out the diva side of you that you've been hiding. Living
with chronic pain means forcing yourself being silly sometimes.

If you have supportive friends and down-to-earth expectations, by the end of the year you will find that you are one of the few people who actually met some of those "resolutions." And everyone has some of their goals that are left for next year's calendar! So celebrate