If you live with chronic pain or an illness, odds are that you have attended a support group at least once since you were diagnosed. Did it feel something like this?

You feel exhausted and not very motivated to attend the
meeting but you decided to go anyway. Find the meeting
place, a parking spot and the right room leaves you wiped out. At last you locate a hard,
sticky seat. A few people smile at you, but there is a discussion going about now
aggravating doctors can be. Soon the topic moves to people comparing how many
milligrams and pain killers they need and it feels like your pain is minimized because you
are on less than most people. Two people try to convince you to try their juice remedy
and you want to run screaming. It's so depressing!

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that
support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have
concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because
of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the
fact that the validation of one's feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in
how they cope with chronic illness.

You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long
you have (or have not) participated in one, it's likely that you've seen the slippery slope of
how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of
complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small
groups to perk things up?

Here are 10 ideas to help create some humor and joy in your support group. You can
evade some of those bitter moments that can so easily come out in conversation about
illness. Some simple planning can make you feel enthused about your next get together.
These ideas will work for any groups, from a Rhode Island support group for CFS to a
diabetes support group for those in Marion County, Florida. And they a great tool to have
when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Before your meeting, cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them on each
side of a stick or a plastic knife. When everyone goes around the room to share about
their experiences or emotions of the week, ask people to make sure they are able to hold
up both "faces'. For example, Beth may say, "I'm not looking forward to my joint
replacement surgery and all the rehab afterwards" while holding up the sad side of the
stick. And then she flips it to think of something positive to say "I feel blessed though,

2. 2. Rethink your definition of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For
example, ask everyone to bring an item to contribute to a JOY box and then pass it
around during the meeting and let people choose everything to take home. The range of
objects can be anything a silicone bracelet, a favorite poem, a funny DVD, an
encouraging note or even a joke book. Have everyone return the item during the next
meeting and occasionally have people bring fresh items.

3. Be goofy together with ice breakers for small groups. Make up a fun, corny theme
song to start each meeting, or pick a tune everyone knows and make up new lyrics. Check
out comedian Anita Renfroe's website for some terrific examples that will leave you in
stitches.

4. Find some goofy props to bring to your meeting. Don't make anyone feel they must use
or wear them. (Forcing someone to wear bug antennas may scare them away for good.)
But make sure they are available to encourage light-hearted moments before discussing
the depressing reasons you are there. You can find hundreds of items for a reasonable
price at Oriental Trading Supply.

5. Though it can be a challenge, don't let your group tune into a platform for any member
to talk continuously about his or her disease, the treatments, alternative treatments and
even complaints. If someone tends to dominate the conversation, let your group know
you are implementing the use of a timer to make sure everyone has equal opportunity to
share. Set whatever guidelines you wish, for instance, you could allow people to vent for
sixty seconds on any topic. Or they could share about an alternative treatment they've
found useful, but when the timer rings, time is up!

6. Ask everyone to bring an item to include in a gift basket encouragement for someone
else. It may be someone who cannot attend the group someone having surgery, or a friend
of someone recently diagnosed. Put your ideas together about things people would like.
Don't forget personal notes or even sticky notes on a small gift can mean the most.

7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven't opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.

8. Have items on hand that will encourage people to thrive despite their illness. For
example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness week has fun things like bumper
stickers, pins, mugs and stickers that have themes like "My illness is invisible but my
hope shines through."