As I write this article my 4-year-old son sits
beside me with a cold and a little fever. All he
has said since he woke up today is "I'm better
now. I'm all better." Does our attitude change
how we cope with illness and our level of
happiness?

Everyone copes with challenges in their lives in different ways. For those who are
diagnosed with a chronic illness they may put on a happy face and literally decide they
will use this as a dare to succeed, constantly trying to overcome any limitations it sets
forth. Others will drive home from the doctor's office wondering how much longer they
will be able to drive because of the pain. They'll flop down on the couch and rarely roam
from it for years. What is it that makes some people thrive despite their chronic illness
and others simply survive and use it as an excuse for everything that goes wrong?

[1] They maintain hope. We've found through research that people who have hope
actually recover from surgery faster than those who have less hope. Hope is fundamental
and a basic step in finding contentment despite our situation. The 2006 theme of National
Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was "My illness is invisible but my hope
shines through." This is an attitude we should all have.

[2] They persevere. It's no secret that living with chronic pain is. . .painful! Physically,
emotionally, and spiritually it can zap our strength and spirit. Typically, our health is one
of the main foundations we count on in order to have a change to conquer those dreams.
Chronically ill people who are happy have learned how to continue to aim high for their
dreams, or to reevaluate their dreams and create new ones. Sometimes the new goals are
even more taxing that the original ones, but passion pushes them forward.

[3] They are good advocates of their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel,
authors of "Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired," write "Getting this help in a
consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need
perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be
committed to getting them" (p. 160). People who take part in the decision making
process on the topic of their care and treatment, and who actively hunt for out doctors
who will partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For
example, if it's one's desire to have children it's important to have a medical team that