When your wife has a chronic illness, though you may love
her no matter what, it can be hard for her to get into a
romantic mood. Physical pain from the actual illness to weight
gain or loss, bloating, and less-than-fun symptoms of
medication can all be a deterrent to some romantic moments.

It's important to know that you are not alone. Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic
illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of marriages are disrupted by this uninvited
third party of illness, often including mental illness as well. Sadly, seventy-five percent of
them end in divorce.

Chocolate. Yes, it really can be that simple. But buy her some sugar-free chocolate that
she can splurge on without the guilt. It's amazing how good it tastes! Chocolate has a
chemical called phenyl ethylamine that actually produces the feeling of "being in love."
Check out your local Wal-Mart or Target for their Russell Stover's chocolates that come
in bags. Coconut, caramels, and pecans hmmmm you get the idea.

Hold her hand. Yes, I know. You're hoping for more than just holding hands. But if it
takes a woman without an illness awhile to get in the mood, you can imagine the
affection she needs in order to forget her physical pain. Rub her back carefully, use an
endearing name you haven't used in five years, and don't pressure her for more. Snuggle,
cuddle, snuggle as if you will never let her go.

Talk to her about how much you admire her and how she copes with the daily-ness of
living with a chronic illness. Remind her that you're never going anywhere and you feel
blessed to be married to someone who shows so much strength in character when her
body is weak.

Pamper her by purchasing her something that she wouldn't splurge on for herself. Let her
know you are listening to her by purchasing a CD that she says has one of her favorite
news songs on it. Buy her a down comforter for a cozier bed. Brainstorm about item that
she could enjoy when she isn't feeling well.