"Hot and bothered" has long referred to romance
and those sparks of chemistry between you and the
one you love, but if you have a chronic illness,
romance may be the last thing on your mind.
Chronic illness can quickly redefine "hot" to mean
the symptoms of a thyroid condition, night sweats,
or a hot heating pad. "Bothered" is something you
feel every night when you are annoyed you can't
sleep. For example, achy joints, a dog who snores from his resting place on your pillow,
and a spouse that can sleep through anything. Romantic evenings may be the last thing on
your mind in your home!

Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of
marriages are disrupted by this uninvited third party of illness, often including mental
illness as well. Seventy-five percent of marriages end in divorce. But romantic ideas don't
have to be used just on Valentine's Day.

Put forth some effort. No more excuses. "I'm so exhausted, I don't feel that great. My
body feels like it was run over by a truck." I've said them all. But guess what? If you have
an illness you'll probably always be tired in a way normal people aren't tired. So put on
some music and relax. The distraction of romance can make you forget about a great deal
of the pain!

Prioritize romance. Cleaning the house all day Saturday and then claiming you're "just too tired" can make your spouse feel that he isn't as important as your own agenda. Get some rest so you can at least have a decent conversation without falling asleep.

Do whatever it takes to be enthusiastic for your romantic evening. If you go out for a nice
dinner, don't tell him over the menu, "I actually feel pretty sick, so I don't know what to
eat. I really am going out just as a favor for you." (That's won't turn your loved one on in
the least!) Even if your romance is just dinner out, enjoy talking about some dreams you
still have or what your hopes are for the future. Avoid talking about your illness or how it
could change them all at the drop of a hat.