INT - BEDROOM - MORNINGFECAL CHADWICK lays in bed. His alarm plays Nickelback, andhe jolts up while succinctly attaching to his shutter shades.Tissues fall out of his bed sheets.FECAL (V.O.)My name is Fecal Chadwick, and I'm pretty much the coolest person I know.He brushes his teeth with monster energy drink, with a walkman playing Nickelback. He chucks the Walkman on theground.FECAL (V.O.)SWAG!FECAL spends a while trying to tie his heelies.FECAL (V.O.)I'm literally the 10th wonder of the world. And ninth, for that matter. I'm like what would happen if Zeus andJesus had a baby.Montage of FECAL lifting extremely light weights in hisbedroom. He's doing none of the workouts correctly.FECAL (V.O.)My mom says I'm one of the strongestpeople she's ever seen.FECAL intensely breaks an egg and tries to eat it raw.Ewwziez.FECAL (V.O.)And she's only seen me naked twice. I was born naked, but people say I cameout with shutter shades on. I don'tdoubt it.FECAL throws up the egg.