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Mechanics1. *Show Not Tell*It's better to show through a character's actions than "tell" byhaving the narrator describe. Please do not "tell."*Example 1:* "Garth became nervous" is "telling." It is better to "show" with: "Garth's hands trembled."*Example 2:* "Garth did not want to go down the hall withthe Major" is "telling." It is better to "show" with:"What?" Garth said, "There's no way in hell I'm going with you!"2. *Body Movement*Occasional reference to body movement and scene interaction isimportant so that characters are not disembodied talking heads.It's also important to occasionally use body movement *before* a person talks, in order to establish who is talking.Example:"When are you going to leave for France?" John asked.could be cast as:John took a slow breath. "When are you going to leave for France?"(Many times beginning authors make it hard to figure out whois talking, but a quick reference to body movement beforethe speaker speaks makes it all clear.)3. *Short Better Than Long*In real life, people often talk in short sentences and phrases,rather than in long drawn-out sentences with big words. Another dialog tip: use contractions often. For example, a character may be more apt to say "I'll" than "I will."4. *Break the Dialog*Always insert a "he said" or "she said" as early as possible intoa line of dialog (if a "he said" is even needed at all).Example: Never do: "Yes, I will kill him, but not until you buy the peaches for dinner," he said.Instead do:"Yes," he said, "I will kill him, but not until you buy the peaches for dinner."5. *Use Active Voice*Don't say: "The paper was placed on the wall by the doctor." Useactive voice: "The doctor placed the paper on the wall."
 
6. *Avoid Omniscient Narrator*Books have more immediacy if you stay within one character's headand therefore the narrator does not have knowledge of what other  people are thinking. For example, if you are in Jake's head, weare in Jake's head for most of the book. We can't suddenly knowhow Melinda is feeling. Jake doesn't read her mind. We can suggesthow she feels through Jake's opinions and what he sees and hears,and what she says and does. (Some people use an omniscientnarrator, but the best books avoid it.)7. *Don't Rush The Scene*If a scene sounds rushed, with too little attention to detail andtexture, then more words are needed to draw out the action andsuspense.8. *Natural Dialog*If you are unsure if the dialog sounds natural, read it out loudto yourself. This is a great way to make sure the dialog is natural.9. *Involve All Senses*To really get the reader involved, try to stimulate more of thereader's senses. For example, if you've gone ten pages withoutstimulating the reader (and character in the book) with an odor,or tactile feeling, sound, or taste, the book will have lessimmediacy.10. *Use "Said"*I notice some beginning writers seem to dislike using "said" andtry to replace the word "said" with words like commanded,remarked, uttered, began, etc. Perhaps they feel that too many"saids" stick out. However, you don't have to be afraid of usingtoo many "saids." In fact, it is much worse to try substitutions.The best writers use "said" almost all the time and let the dialogconvey the meaning. For example,"Get out of here now!" he commanded.is much worse than"Get out of here now!" he said.The word "commanded" is an unnecessary distraction. In anycase, it's obvious the sentence is a command. When readersread "said", their eyes barely pause. The "said" goes almostunnoticed. This is what you want. Replacement words, such as"remarked", stick out obtrusively, which is what you don'twant. For these reasons, some authors don't even use "heasked" for questions; rather they do: "Where is it?" he said.11. *Don't Begin To*
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