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Love Conquers Pain

Love Conquers Pain

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Published by: Erwin Joey E. Cabilan on Feb 16, 2009
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03/26/2012

 
Always: DCHerald Issue (February 8-14, 2009)
“Care-full”
by
 Erwin Joey Cabilan
One of my favorite songs is Barbra Streisand’s
 Evergreen
. One of the reasons why I love thissong is because of the clarity of the message! It’s all about love. Love is the greatest thing that we canever experience. It is beyond attraction. It is more than liking. We cannot fathom the richness of love.Many have tried to define it. Some define it with highfaluting terms. While many attempt to describewith so much passion. Some just define it in a funny way to the extent that its definition is out of thecontext. But love can hardly be defined because first and foremost, it speaks for itself! In other words,no one can say about authentic love unless you and I have loved and being loved.Let me share a simple story.
One time, a friend of mine who is now residing in Europe opened to me how she is amazed when she discovered that her husband loves her so unconditionally in spite of the limitations that she has. According to my friend, this is an experience of healing for her.She also relayed to me how her husband loves his mother who is in need of special care due toa serious illness. Amidst his very busy schedule, her European husband would find time and take timeto visit his ailing mother. Her husband is willing to sacrifice something just to show how much heloves his mother.
In response, I told my friend that she is not only lucky but above all blessed to have a husbandlike him.
 He has not only conquered her heart but above all he allows every pain to be conquered by love.
Love conquers all, even the greatest pain of sickness, of being wounded, of indifference, of isolation, of hunger, of conflicts, of death and of sin. Our capacity to love is always challenged whenwe encounter real life situations that call us to be more human rather than to be juridical. Many of ustry to give up the essence of love by putting boundaries. Questions such as,
“How many times should I  forgive?”, “When can I stop understanding this person?”, “Bakit ako na lang ang palaging nagbibigay daan para sa kanya?”
express how sick we are. Possibly, with this kind of diagnosis, weare suffering from a sickness called the
 paralysis of the heart 
. What is the cure?To care is better than to cure. But if the person is already suffering from the paralysis of theheart, the only remedy still, is to care. To care is both preventive and curative. It is synonymous withlove and compassion. Dr. Ismael Ireneo Maningas, Ed. D. in his book 
 Filipino Christian Morality
listed some significant ways of being caring and these are the following:1.
 Looking 
. An eye-to-eye contact does not only mean that both of you are conveying your deepest feeling but above all you are valuing each other’s presence.2.
 Speaking 
. Words can
“build” 
persons and people. Statements such as “
Thank You
”,
Congratulations!
”, “
 Keep it up!
”, “
You are the best!
”, “
 I forgive you
”, “
Carry on
” and “
 I love you
” convey to us the message of healing, comfort and assurance.3.
Writing 
. It is human to be expressive. By writing a message of love, of care and of forgiveness,either long or short, means a lot for “
it is a way of strengthening relationships
”.4.
Touching 
. According to Dr. Maningas, touching gives us the feeling of being understood. It provides us with warmth, nourishment and a sense of security, acceptance and love. Anembrace, a kiss (cheek to cheek), a hand shake, a pat on other’s shoulder means a lot for a person who is in need of understanding and compassion.Christian Spirituality is
incarnational 
. Our faith is expressed by means of “
the body
”. Itsmode of expression is “
 sacramental 
”. As an embodied spirit, every human person is called to be a bearer of God’s love to all. Thus, to prevent the paralysis of the heart, we have to do the following:1.Love.2.Love much.3.Always love much.4.Always love much foreve

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