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Pixie Dust

Pixie Dust

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Published by Joe Conniff
Sketch Comedy Sample
Sketch Comedy Sample

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Published by: Joe Conniff on Feb 13, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Pixie Dust
byJoe ConniffForODD SQODDJoe Conniff6054 Colfax AveNorth Hollywood CA 91606412-335-6167
INT - NOLAN'S APARTMENT - DAYNolan is on the phone.NOLANYeah, well thanks a lot Lawyer. NowI'm bankrupt and guilty oftreason...Nolan slams the phone on the hook.He walks towards his window and looks up to the sky.NOLAN (CONT'D)Man... Sometimes I wish I couldjust fly away from this place.FAIRY (O.S.)Did somebody say wishhh?!Nolan is startled and turns around. There standing in hisapartment is a very tall, almost transvestite looking, fairy.NOLANWho are you?FAIRYI'm a fairy! And I can grant youyour wish of flying awaaaay!NOLANWow-wee! Ok!The fairy rubs its hands together, opens its palms and blowstowards Nolan's face. Sparkly dust flies out onto Nolan.NOLAN (CONT'D)Whoah... what is that?FAIRYIt's pixie dust silly! That's what makes you fly of course.Nolan pulls some of it off his face and gives a couple quicksneezes. His eyes widen when he looks at the dust.NOLANGlitter?! This is glitter! Are you mad?!FAIRYWell what do you expect pixie dustto be?(CONTINUED)
Nolan gives several consecutive sneezes again.NOLANNot a bunch of goddamn glitter! Doyou have any idea how long it willtake to wash this stuff off?!FAIRYBut you can fly now.. Fly awaaay.Nolan starts to frantically rub his entire body whilesneezing and twitching. He pulls clumps of his hair out.The fairy gets worried.NOLANI can't! I can't go on!FAIRYLet's not do anything crazy now.Keep in mind that you can fly- Oh my God no-Nolan has a gun to his head. The fairy closes its eyes and ablast rings out, splattering blood on the fairy's face.The fairy slowly opens its eyes while shaking and thensuddenly...KNOCK KNOCKFAIRY (CONT'D)Who is it?The door crashes open and three men dressed in SWAT gearcoming marching in, guns drawn.POLICE 1Pixie Police! On the floor! Now!FAIRYOh no! Oh no!POLICE 1Sweet Jesus, we're too late! Watchyour step boys.The other two police restrain the fairy as it tries to run.One of the police searches the fairy and pulls out a smallbaggy of glitter.2.CONTINUED:(CONTINUED)

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