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The “Ex-Factor”
Have you ever started to date someone, began to have feelings for them and then foundout that they still hadn’t gotten over their ex? Few things in life are more annoying thanthe “Ex-factor”. If someone is not over their ex, no matter how hot, sexy, intelligent andsweet you are, it won’t matter, because they are not in a position to appreciate it at themoment. They are living in the past. You are competing with someone they have ahistory with, who knows them a lot better than you do and who they share a lot of goodmemories with.How do you know if someone isn’t over their ex? Two clues are if they’re alwaysmentioning the other person, when there is clearly no reason for it
or 
if they refuse todiscuss the ex. So what can you do? Practice what I call the: “Lose ’em to keep ‘em”move. Sit your sweetie down and say:
 I like you and enjoy being with you, but it doesn’t  seem as if you’re over your ex. That’s not fair to either one of us and I can’t continue to see you under these circumstances. I don’t want to be in a rebound relationship. I think  you need to go and do whatever you need to, in order to figure out what you want.
Thiswill probably surprise them and they may even deny still being into the ex, but don’t fallfor it. No matter how much they beg and plead, stand by your statement. If they ask whether you are going to be dating others, let them know it’s a possibility.Don’t worry that if they get back with their ex it will be over forever with you. I oncestarted dating someone that had just gotten out of a relationship. When the ex found out,suddenly she wanted him back. He saw both of us for a while, although she thought hehad broken it off with me. One night he had to leave to go pick her up. I was not happyabout that and told him so. His response was: Too bad. I broke up with him that night.They were together for another year but in the meantime he kept in touch with me. Whenhe caught her cheating, he immediately broke it off and came running back to me. I wasslow to take him back and I from then on I always had the upper hand in what turned outto be a five year relationship. Eventually he asked me to marry him but I turned himdown. I truly believe that if I hadn’t broken up with him and had instead put up with himseeing me on the side, the relationship would have ended for good within a short time andhe wouldn’t have come back.The ex is an ex for a reason, something obviously wasn’t working. More often than not,if they
do
get back together, eventually they’ll fall into the same patterns, and before youknow it, they’ll start having problems again. You need to give them an opportunity to seethat it’s not going to work, so that they can stop idealizing the relationship in their minds.It will probably happen sooner rather than later if you’re not around to distract them.When they finally have closure, they will be able to move on and give
 you
their fullattention.
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oddcoward518380

i found best way to get ex back in the website

reply02 / 26 / 2010
LoveGoddess

Hi Brad, When someone has just gotten out of a relationship, they often seek to get over the pain by jumping into something else. Few people are enlightened enough to take time to heal between relationships. The only reason she said that she did not want to "nurse another relationship" is because she is not that into you. The reason I know that is because she keeps mentioning her ex and she told you to date others. She's not available. Move on.

reply10 / 21 / 2007
LoveGoddess

Glad to have helped. Lucia

reply07 / 17 / 2007
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