• Embed Doc
  • Copy Link
  • Readcast
  • Collections
  • CommentGo Back
 
10 Reasons Why You Need to Give Yourself Permissionto Heal from Grief and Loss
 Maurice Turmel PhD
1)
You will feel better 
knowing you are not alone with this experience of grief as aresult of losing a loved one. Many individuals have traveled this pathsuccessfully and, those of us who study these processes, have been hard atwork creating the tools and strategies necessary to help you safely negotiate therecovery experience.2)
You will feel better 
as you become aware of how manageable the healingexperience can be while you grow accustomed to using tools that will help youget in touch with your feelings. Once aware of what you are feeling, you will beencouraged you to express those feelings and see for yourself how your stresslevel will begin to recede. Strategies of denial, anger, withdrawal and repressionwill be abandoned as they should because you are now aware of what’snecessary to safely manage your recovery experience.3)
You will feel better 
realizing that you no longer have to tough this out, or engage in practices that would deny you the genuineness of your loss. Your heart knows where it’s going and it knows what it needs to help you safelynegotiate this path. Open yourself to the possibility that you can have what youwant in terms of help and self-awareness, and about the process that will set thestage for your emotional recovery.4)
You will feel better 
knowing that no one travels this path alone and nor shouldyou. Helpful resources are readily available. The old ways of denial, repressionand toughing it out are done. They belong to another era. Today, we areallowed to feel what we feel and express those feelings in a safe and genuinemanner. What we do today when facing tragedy is our choice. If we choose thepath of recovery, then that’s what we will have. Do not deny yourself theopportunity to heal. Never choose suffering over healing. The spirit of recovery isin the air. Alcoholics recover. Drug addicts recover. Abused children recover.Persons with broken hearts, for whatever reason, can do so as well.
 
5)
You will feel better 
realizing that there are alternatives to the old way of toughing things out and keeping a stiff upper lip. You will discover that the pathto recovery is much easier than the path of suffering. You will accept your grieving experience as valid and no longer deny yourself what you need justbecause that’s the way it used to be done. A new day has dawned. Wherever you hurt, there is a solution. The internet is filled with answers. You found thisone, didn’t you?6)
You will feel better 
accepting yourself as who you are, and in this circumstance,as a wounded individual who needs compassion and help. Your heart is brokenand needs mending, what are you going to do? If you were thirsty and a water fountain was nearby wouldn’t you step over and take a drink? Well, your heart isaching and there are resources for you to tap into. Why not select one and see if it works? The days of being stoic about your feelings are over. Men weep andwomen get angry. These are fundamental experiences to being human. Whenour body aches we see a doctor and get help. When our heart aches, nodifference, help is readily available. Once you decide you are worth it, the helpyou need will come to you. But you have to reach out and take it. That’s your part of the exercise.
Remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him put on a bathing costume
. If your friend was suffering the experienceof loss, and you were aware of a resource that could help them, wouldn’t youtake them by the hand and show them the way? Well then, why not be your ownfriend at this time. Take yourself by the hand and give yourself what you need tomanage your grief and loss recovery.7)
You’ll feel better 
because, as a man, you were taught to contain your feelingsand not let them out for fear of demonstrating weakness. Well that’s a joke, isn’tit. You’re feeling hurt inside. Everyone knows it. Why continue the pretense of being unaffected. Women cry without difficulty, because they have permission toexpress their feelings. Well, women live longer than men, because they aremore inclined to release their stress. Does that suggest stress kills? Absolutely!So, forget the macho stance. No one cares anymore. Forget trying to look calmand collected for the sake of protecting women, or your precious image. Womenare going to outlive you by several years anyway. They don’t need that kind of protection. Time to consider your own needs and stop pretending you don’t havethem. Unless you come from another planet and are built differently than the restof us, then your needs are the same as mine, and I choose recovery. What areyou going to do?
 
8)
You’ll feel better 
because, as a woman, you already have permission to attendto your feelings. What you need are tools to help you negotiate this experienceof grief and loss without become mired in the emotional drama. There is a caseto be made for engaging our cognitive abilities at times of crisis, because simplyreacting emotionally will not contribute to your healing. In cases of tragic loss anunbridled emotional response may simply reinforce the idea that you are victimwithout power or control over your own life. Old voices from the past may creepin here to remind you that you’re not desirable, or that it was somehow your faultthat your loved one passed on. In any case your needs are as valid as those of men. Your heart is aching and you need healing. Comforting words, soft music,candlelight and permission to express those feelings will move you safelythrough the landscape of grief.9)
You’ll feel better 
knowing you’ve given yourself every opportunity to addressthis critical experience in your life. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll even wake up inthe night sobbing at times. Just be aware that your inner self is at work overtimenow to relieve you of the tension associated with the experience of grief. Youdon’t have to wait years for your recovery, because you’ve chosen a set of toolsthat give you permission to feel, and that normalizes every aspect of the grief process. Isn’t that a relief? Of course it is. It would be silly to think otherwise. Doyou know anyone who is still longing for the days when heartache was a diseasethat you just bottled up, hoping you wouldn’t explode?10)
You’ll feel better 
knowing that you’re starting to feel better. With each day, hour and minute you devote to your grief recovery, you are building up an inventory of good feelings; and you’re beginning to realize that this entire process is quitemanageable. Doesn’t that sound like a better choice than suffering? And whobetter to help you with this process than someone who is trained, someone whohas been through grief and loss several times in their life and someone who nolonger fears the experience because they know exactly what to do to heal?Come on now, you know the answer. Tell you what, you give me 10 goodreasons why you shouldn’t seek the help you need to recover from grief and lossand I’ll show you how to turn that information into an ebook you can sell on theinternet. Does that sound like a good deal, or would you rather just feel better?Why waste another minute contemplating what you need when you can simply takeaction. Acquire your own copy of “When Angels Call – Spiritual and Emotional Recovery
of 00

Leave a Comment

You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...
You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...