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A WORLD WITHOUT MENWords Dom PassantinoWelcome to a fantasyland populated by lesbians, where there are no men, and genderroles are instead defined by hair colour. The citizens of Aristasia have apathological hatred of modern life, particularly feminists (their own personalbêtes noirs), and, as such, refuse to engage with any culture (clothing, language,music) post-1963. Throw in ties to the British National Party, allegations ofracism and anti-semitism, white-power symbolism, S&M beatings so bad they resultin criminal convictions, the worship of a Sun goddess, and sexualisation to thepoint of fetish of schoolgirls, and you know you’re in Aristasia.As with the majority of things that make little sense, it all begins at Oxbridge.Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford, to be precise, where, in the late 1960s, an academicwho went by the sobriquet Hester St Clare became patron to a group ofdisenfranchised lesbian students. Alternating between the names The Romantics andThe Olympians, they felt uncomfortable with the direction Britain had taken overthe past decade, seeing the cultural shifts of the 1960s as a collapse of moraland social standards (known in Aristasian parlance as ‘The Eclipse’). Slowlyputting together a manifesto dedicated to bringing back the 'dignity’ of the early20th century, the students and St Clare eventually dropped out of Oxford to formtheir own university dedicated to Aristasian studies, known as Milchford.They quickly came to establish that in this new land of Aristasia, there would beno men. Instead, traditional ‘male’ roles, such as those of leaders, businessmenand so on, would be taken by brunettes, while blondes would be left to perform thework of artists and homemakers. Also, the term ‘Aristasia’ came to signify one oftwo things: either Aristasia Pura, the fantasy world devoid of male presence inwhich Aristasians roleplay; and Aristasia-In-Telluria, an attempt to recreate thisworld in real life via vintage cars, games of croquet, and hot lesbian sex.Aristasia Pura has a number of ‘continents’ on which inhabitants may either beborn or live, and each one is symbolic of a different ‘acceptable’ decade. Thus,‘Quirinelle’ has the fashions and culture of the 1950s, while ‘Vintesse’ belongsto the jazz era. There are also outreach islands known as ‘Infra-Quirinelle’,which contain certain aspects of the early 1960s, but the Aristasians’ websitemakes it quite clear what isn't acceptable on those green and pleasant shores:“Pop Art fashions, popular music beyond the style of the earlier 60s, anythingthat smacks of the ‘hippie’ or ‘Carnaby Street’ or ‘Beatles’ ethos”. They'vecreated a fantasy world where the enemies are Peter Sarstedt and the 6-5 Special.Membership to Aristasia isn't a uniform thing, and followers can choose thestrength of their allegiance depending on which of the four ‘rings’ they belongto. There's the Outer Circle, who just act as Aristasians online. The ThirdCircle: women who live an Aristasian lifestyle, but do so in Telluria. The SecondCircle, who inhabit Aristasian commune-style households, but still havecommitments (ie, jobs) in the real world. And the Inner Circle, an invitation-onlycabal of women who have cut off all obligations to the real world to live a fullyAristasian lifestyle. The Inner Circle is believed to nowadays be in the lowdouble figures, although Outer Circle membership is at its highest point inhistory.(line break)Aristasia first made a major impression on the wider public back in 1996, whenChannel 4 screened the documentary <A Weekend At Miss Martindale's> (as inMarianne Martindale, arguably the most famous Aristasian, and undoubtedly the mostcontroversial). The program ostensibly dealt with the first weekend spent by threenew recruits at an Aristasian country outpost, but was instead just a series ofspanking scenes loosely linked by scenes of 1950s-lifestyle fantasy: a housemaid
 
gets violently paddled six times for incorrectly folding napkins; an adult womanin a schoolgirl outfit receives several brutal, full-strength lashes from aleather strap; another maid is bent over Martindale's knee and given a series ofslaps across the arse for no particular reason.Indeed, it is this portrayal of Aristasia as a kind of <Story Of O> penned by EnidBlyton that has become its endearing mainstream image, and it is an image thatclearly rankles with Aristasians. Ulalua Serendra, a devout Aristasian, claims tohave been born an Aristasian upon the continent of Novaria. She says the biggestmisconception regarding Aristasia is that “we have anything to do with S&M. Ofcourse, some earlier Aristasians played up to the discipline angle for reasons oftheir own, but even so, if you read what they said about S&M or see MissMartindale's television interviews, you see that the idea of spanking as‘gratification’ was always terribly strongly opposed.”This is certainly an arguable point. One of the more popular Aristasian websitesgoes by the name The Wildfire Club, which prides itself as being a one-stop shop“dedicated to the discipline of females by females”. It offers literature forsale, such as <The Female Disciplinary Manual> – “The book is written by ladieswho have long practical experience of the disciplinary arts. What Mrs. Beeton didfor household management, they have done for the gentle craft of punishment”– and<The District Governess> (which they admit, with maybe a little too much honesty,“centres on the theme of discipline — largely for commercial reasons”). There'salso a wide series of goodies up for sale, from “genuine traditional Englishschool canes” through to “authentic Scottish tawses” (leather straps used mainlyto punish children), and even navy-blue regulation schoolgirl knickers. All itemsare accompanied by lovingly shot items being used at full strength on an exposedschoolgirl's backside.The Wildfire Club also helps to promote the Avendale School for Girls, aschoolgirl-roleplay group that meets in London once a week. Aristasia-specificlessons are given in French, Latin, Spanish, maths, history, geography, Chinesestudies, linguistics, English lit, diction, and music, but for those who areattending class for reasons other than the desire to conjugate a few verbs,they're keen to point out that “a girl may bring a ‘note from her mother’ ifdiscipline is specially required”.Marianne Martindale has done her best to keep Aristasia in the newspapers over theyears, although not always for the most positive of reasons. Earning herself awage in Telluria as both a fashion critic and a promoter of fetish club nights, in1992 she earned a criminal conviction for Actual Bodily Harm, as the result of asevere birching she gave to another woman who was in residence at her house at thetime. During summation of the case, the judge expressed disbelief that, after theassault, the woman remained in Martindale's home for a further 18 months.Also, in 1995 <The Guardian> made public evidence of an ongoing correspondencebetween Martindale and John Tyndall, the founder member, and former leader, of theBritish National Party. Tyndall was a large fan of Aristasia, going as far to sayof Martindale's work: “I admire what you are doing to the point of fascination.”Her reasoned and damage-limiting response to this was to point out that shecouldn't be a fascist, because she had “no interest in democracy”.It's not the first time Aristasians had been accused of, at best, casual racism,and at worst, something a lot more sinister. Their use of the term “empire” todescribe Aristasia, and those days before the decline, brings to mind The Leagueof Empire Loyalists, the right-wing Conservative Party splinter group of whichTyndall was a long-time member. They use the term “bongo” to describe the“uncultured” aspects of modern society, and an article from one of their magazinesdescribes a hip-hop club night as resembling “gorillas in jeans gyrating to noises
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