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RECOUNT

Janelle Carson

I lay in the sand with my arms drawn up to cover my eyes, my heart still pounding in my ears. Thesun was already slipping away, ignorant of the fact I had nowhere to go, no shelter or comfort for the cold night that would soon arrive. I stood up and stumbled on the torn hem of my dirty redcloak. I regained my balance and stared out over the vast sea that stretched behind me, sparklingits innocent turquoise. I’d laid so much of my faith upon it, and upon my life sailing its reaches. Aday ago there had not been a single thing out of place or out of the ordinary. A day ago my life hadbeen the same as it had for the twenty-three years I had existed. A day ago there had yet to be asign that it was about to change and throw me into this inescapable situation. I rememberedyesterday with bitterness.I drew a white ribbon from the small wooden box and hastily ran my fingers through my long blackhair, tying it fast behind my head.The knock at the door had sounded again, loud and urgent. For a second my rich scarlet cloakseemed to float in the air about me as I spun around and found the impertinent man walkinguninvited through the doors into the room.My eyes scanned the man up and down quickly, discerning his stature and calculating his threat;beginning at his black leather boots with their over-polished golden buckles and glancing upwardsto end at a somewhat flamboyant feathered hat.I’d acknowledged him as slightly as formality would allow with a single short nod, and turned backaround to the mirrored table I had been standing before moments before.“What is it you want?” I bluntly demanded.He wasn’t taken aback for even a moment. His voice flowed back to me as strong and melodic as Iremembered. But something was different.“Aha! My, I’d have thought you of all people would have expected me by now. Captain,” he added,with obvious accentuated sarcasm. He’d perfected mocking my authority so easily with naught buthis voice. It caught me for a second and I could see in the mirror the rage I felt coursing throughevery nerve in my body, boiling at my fingertips, surfacing from inside me as a flicker of hate in myemerald eyes.I slammed my palms down onto the table’s surface with a sound that echoed my temper wonderfully, and he jumped. I savored his momentary discomposure and replied without turningaround, my eyes narrowed at him through the mirror’s reflection.I spoke, a long monologue during which his apparently impenetrable façade fell from him untilfinally they stood, at most equals in his eyes for the first time. I watched him attempt to regain hiscomposure but I gave him no time for such a thing.“You have three minutes to remove yourself and your men from this ship,” I announced coldly,“Before mine take it upon themselves to assist you.”This final threat hung in the air between us for at least ten long seconds before he spun on his heeland left the room in a storm of bitterness.My father strode in then. He was tall, his features reasonably younger than his age, although hishair was bright silver and it was a sure fact that he had become too old for life under the sails.He ran his hands through his hair and paced the room while I stood, vaguely impatient, unsure if he wanted to talk or if it was fine for me to proceed to the deck to discover if the previous man hadleft.I was about to make for the doors when my father spoke. “You realize, daughter, he’ll only repayyou for this tenfold,” he said quietly.I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, whispering curses. Undoubtedly, I had realized this.But the trust and loyalties of my men were at stake, and I was not willing to give up so soon.“He wants my ship. You know this. A blind man would know it were so. I’m not admitting a defeatbefore a battle, father. He’s going to have to try impossibly hard to so much as-““And he can. You know he is able to accomplish the impossible, and will. He has the money, themeans, the alliances and the men. I fear you will lose this warless battle ungracefully.”He sounded weary rather than reproachful, and the words he spoke were not intended to hurt.“There is nothing to be fearful of.” I replied softly, and left him standing alone as I opened the doorsto emerge onto the deck.Afternoon sunlight broke over me in a sudden blaze of white light. I waited for my eyes to adjustand scanned the boat. The man had left, and a rowboat was visible not far away, retreating to asmaller ship further away.

I walked to the side of the ship and watched the rowers recede towards the growing sunset. WhenI was sure they wouldn’t return, I ran my hand along the length of the tarred wood as though for the last time, and turned to watch my crew as they worked, up in the rigging, down on hands andknees scrubbing at the ever-dirtied wood of the deck, sorting ropes and long stretches of canvasbefore taking it below.I usually felt as one with the ship and crew, and it would show. My men respected me and I couldtalk to any of them for hours at a time and was inspired by their words. This proved invaluablewhen it came to conflicts and battles; they trusted me completely. Although we were little morethan pirates, my protection from the law due to my father’s old ties and connections seemed tostrike a fairytale-like fantasy into the hearts of the people far and wide; I could only assume theythought I was a Robin Hood-esque corsair. Many whispered I’d be a captain for the history books,the best there ever was. But today I felt distanced from my crew, the ship, and the sea. Even thedinner I shared with my father in silence was tasteless that night, and a weight of foreboding in mystomach grew ever heavier.I stirred restlessly in my bed of imported silk and regained consciousness from sleep slowly, mythoughts still heavy with dreams. There was a tiny click from the east corner of my room; mylocked door had suddenly become locked no longer.I sat up slightly, alert but unafraid, and drew a small sabre from beneath my pillow. I stepped lightlyfrom my bed and stood flat against the wall, my eyes never straying from the door, the smallweapon held tightly in front of me with both hands.Abruptly the door swung open silently and a shadowy figure leapt into the room and tore throughthe darkness towards my bed, a knife held poised above where my body had lain moments before.I had moved directly behind the attacker and without hesitation drew my sword across his throat.I fled from the room, the blood soaked bed occupied by a lifeless body that could easily have beenmy own.I ran through the dark, short corridors of my ship, my bare feet making no noise at all on thewooden boards.I tripped down a flight of stairs and hastily got to my feet to be confronted by my crew. Hammockswere tied from every anchorage point available in the vast room, and from every angle mybewildered audience stared with wide eyes.I breathlessly ordered them to accompany me to the deck and they followed me silently,consentingly, and without question. My crew was ever-reliable as always.I explained to them the recent occurrences in my quarters, and quietly announced my suspicionsof the assassin to be under orders from the smaller ship still anchored a no more than a quarter of a league away.I had barely stepped into the starlight outside before a felt a sharp blow to the back of my neck. Myknees buckled and gave way, and I felt my body hit the wood of my beloved boat. I couldn’t move,but I wasn’t unconscious. Not yet.I watched as feet, it seemed like hundreds of feet, surged out of the depths of the ship. I heard therasp of steel as thirty swords were drawn as one, and my crew boldly faced my enemies. Theywould fight for me. They would win for me. My dependable, reliable crew.I waited for the sound of metal on metal. I shut my eyes before I could see the first body fall, andhear the first screams of agony. I waited for infinitely long seconds. My eyes opened again. Thefeet on the deck had stilled. I struggled to look upwards; every man held his sword out in front of him, not by the hilt but rather the opposite end of their sword, the blade’s end of their sword; thewrong end of their sword.They were handing them over, I realized. But to who? Surely he wouldn’t.There were footsteps coming towards me. Darkness was creeping around the corner of my eyes.Soon I would be completely oblivious to everything surrounding me. I struggled to stay above thedarkness’ grip.The footsteps grew closer, but the sound was faint, faraway. Two boots entered my dissolvingview, their golden buckles over-polished. My eyelids fluttered, then finally closed.I’d awoken to the sound of the sea against my ship. I wondered if it was merely a dream. I hopedwhat I had just experienced was nothing but it was my imagination.I opened my eyes and instantly squeezed them shut again, rolling over and groaning. The sun waswell into the sky and the back of my eyes dazzled with glowing white stains of sunlight when Iopened them again to look down at what I’d rolled onto.I was staring at dark wood, and a sodden rope. As my body moved I felt my clothes were far fromdry, too. I sat up and found I was in the tiny wooden rowboat that departed my ship less than 24hours before. I was on a bleach white beach glittering with heat. Nothing stirred in the palmscreeping towards the sea from the forest behind me. I stepped onto the hot sand. There wasn’t a