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A Lawyer's View

A Lawyer's View

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Published by Brad Burbank
A lawyer's view on the black population.
A lawyer's view on the black population.

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Categories:Types, Business/Law
Published by: Brad Burbank on Feb 23, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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A LAWYERS VIEWI grew up in a suburb of a large northern city, and had no real contact with blacks until I became a lawyer. After I got my law degree I naively looked forward to a rewardinglegal career. Little did I realize that 25 years later I would be a self-employed attorneydoing domestic and civil litigation for a clientele that is overwhelmingly black. I didn't plan it that way. I just wanted to do a lot of work in the courtroom, and the best offer Igot out of law school was with a small firm that specialized in bankruptcy. Most of itsclients were black. Several years later, I set up an independent practice and many of myformer clients came to me for domestic work..Most people do not realize this, but outside the world of corporate or securities law, inany big city the legal profession is to a large degree fueled by the pathologies of blacksand other Third-World people. Of course, whites hire lawyers, but in any city, especiallyone with a good-sized black population, most of the people who need lawyers are black.In this respect, lawyers are like police officers or social workers -- they rarely deal withordinary white people. To a large degree, I became racially conscious because of my black clients, who eventually destroyed all my preconceived notions about race. Myawakening did not come from one or even a few incidents, but from the accumulation of thousands upon thousands of small interactions.My black clients eventually destroyed all my preconceived notions about race. Day after day my clients continue to amaze me. There is no racial education quite so thorough andconvincing as spending time with blacks, and my clients are far from being the poorestand least competent blacks. They are not indigent criminals for whom I am a court-appointed lawyer. They are people who can afford (or think they can afford) a lawyer toget a divorce, contest a custody judgment, beat a traffic ticket, etc. Some are governmentemployees who make $60 to $70 thousand a year, yet even this group is vastly differentfrom whites.THEY DON'T KNOWOne of the most striking things about my black clients is the things they do not know.Many blacks, for example, do not know their own telephone numbers. They may think they do but they don't, and the problem has gotten worse with the proliferation of cell phones. At least a third of the numbers they leave with my receptionist or on myanswering machine are wrong numbers. Often, a potential client will call several times,each time leaving a variation of the same phone number. I keep calling until they get itright. At first I thought I was taking down the numbers incorrectly, but now I know better. With caller ID, it is clear when what the client says does not match the digitaldisplay. Some callers don't even leave a number. About a quarter of the messages blacks
leave do not include either a name or a number. Needless to say, many calls are notreturned.More than a handful of blacks who have come to my office do not even know their ownhome address (they move often). Many cannot tell me their own spouse's names. Now Iknow to tell clients ahead of time that they will need this sort of information when theycome in. Otherwise, if I ask for someone's address he may look hurt and say, "If I'dknown you were going to ask me that I would have come prepared."Many black men know their children's names but do not know how to spell them. Withthe proliferation of unusual names among blacks, I can only guess at how they arespelled. One client who told me he couldn't spell his children's names said I would needan encyclopedia to look them up. Many men have admitted to me they are not even surehow to pronounce their children's names. Black woman, on the other hand, often become incensed if you mispronounce the very unusual names they have given their children.The most unusual name I ever came across was Iisszzttadda. I have never met a person,white or black, who could pronounce it correctly. To my surprise the name is pronounced, "I seize the day." Iisszzttadda had siblings named Raheem, Utopian,Desiorme, Sid-Timothy, Kizzma, and Larilaril. I have occasionally asked clients thereasons for such unusual names, but the most common answer is "I don't know. It justsounded good." This is the answer I got from a mother who named her child Latrine.(See sidebar for actual names of blacks I have encountered in my practice.) I once had aclient in my office who did not know his own name. He had been called by his nicknamefor so long he couldn't remember his given name. This is not as shocking as it sounds.Some black names, like Phe-anjoy or Quithreaun or JyesahJhnai, are so odd, it would beno surprise if they were never used and eventually forgotten.Since appointments mean so little to my clients, I decide each day when I am available,and tell everyone to show up at the same time. Names are not the only things blacks donot know. Once when I was filling out a form for a female client I asked if she knewhow old her husband was. She told me she didn't know. I asked her the next question onthe form, which was her husband's birth date. Amazingly, she knew it -- and wasgenuinely surprised when I told her she could figure out her husband's age from his birthdate.When potential clients call for the first time, often the hardest part is to figure out whythey are calling. Usually they begin in the middle of the story. If you let them, they willgo on and on, and say nothing. Clients may call about papers they got in the mail, butnever have the papers in front of them. They may call for information, but never have a pen or pencil ready to take it down. I have learned to ask direct questions: "What is your 
name?" "What is the problem?" If a client cannot tell me in three minutes or less whatthe problem is, I tell him to come to my office and bring a small retainer fee. That way atleast I will have to listen to their ramblings only if they are prepared to pay.Blacks with whom I have already spoken seem to think I should know instantly whothey are when they telephone. After I get on the line, a typical conversation may go likethis:"Who am I speaking to?""I am your client.""I have many clients, can you tell me which one?""I am your divorce client.""Can you tell me your name?""Rufus.""Rufus, can you tell me your last name?"The conversation may go on for some time before I finally figure out who is calling.I do not take personal injury or product liability cases, but blacks are always askingabout bringing suits of this kind: "My vacuum cleaner broke. Can you help me?"Most of my clients who are not black either show up on time for appointments or call if they must reschedule. Amazing as this may seem, only about five percent of my black clients show up on time, and by that I mean within an hour of the appointed time. Onlyone in five show up on the appointed day. A few trickle in a day or two later. Most justnever show up. Missing an appointment never embarrasses black people. They callrepeatedly for new appointments, making four, five or even six appointments and thenmiss them all. I had one client who called more than 50 times before he finally came tomy office. Rarely do I ever get a call from a black client canceling an appointment.When I first started out as a lawyer I would call clients in advance to remind them of their appointments. They thanked me, but it made them no more likely to show up. Also,I used to call clients and potential clients who missed appointments, and try to havethem reschedule. This did very little good. The most common response was, "Why areyou calling me?" and it was never their fault that they didn't show up. They had manydifferent excuses, but I never heard, "I forgot," or "I'm sorry I didn't make it."Since appointments mean so little to my clients, I decide each day when I am available,and tell everyone to show up at the same time. On Saturday afternoons I can have asmany as twenty appointments for the same time. Usually it is not a problem because fewshow up and even fewer show up on time. Only once in the last 20 years did everyoneshow up.

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