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WHAT IF……? 
I walk along a lonely path with no sense of direction on mymind. My legs carry me through dusty roads and alleys whileemptiness fills my heart as I still grieve over my sister "
Ivy's
"death.Questions come to my mind when fear and sorrowencroach upon me, "What if 
Ivy 
were here with me? How would shehelp me at a time like this?” Furthermore the chilly winds blow onmy face, forcing me to withstand the reality of life. But as the duskalways ends with the breaking of the dawn, so do I hope that if notin this world then maybe if I am fortunate I will be able to feel the joy of having my very own sister…at life’s glorious dawnI was born into a middle -class home, in Bombay, thebusiness capital of India. Within a few days after my birth, we had toshift to Pune. Here I have been reared in an atmosphere of serenity.My childhood revolved solely around my parents. As the only child, Ihave been receiving all the love and affection my soul could possiblywish to have, but that could not fill the void of not having a sibling,one I could play with, share my inner feelings with, teach methrough her experiences, and be supportive of my views. Little did Iknow that I had a sister who was snatched away at babyhood.An insignificant grave beside my grandfather’s sort of tuggedat my attention. Many a time I almost asked about that tiny littletomb. Year after year, as often as I went to see my grand-father’sgrave as I tried to raise the question my parents simply evaded thequestion by distracting my attention towards something else, sincethey did not want to upset me by telling me the truth, leave alonetheir unwillingness to re-live that experience. But how long couldthey do it? Not very long! The more they evaded this question themore determined was I to get at the facts of the matter.I once visited the grave- yard along with an aunt of mine on‘All Souls Day’. As we lit the candles my aunt told me to place thefirst candle on that very insignificant grave I was always curiousabout. Upon my enquiry as to why I should place the candle overthere, she revealed that the grave belonged to my late sister, whom
 
I never had a chance to meet and know. My curiosity paid meheavily.The very thought of a sister being snatched away, came as ashock to me. For many days I tried silencing the conflict within me tothink about
Ivy 
. I kept questioning God, “Why did thou take Ivy awayfrom me? Why am I a loner, while my friends have siblings to playwith, talk and be friendly with?” It was this brooding that made mego out of my mind for quite some time.Imagine the plight of a twelve-year old heart filled with mixedfeelings of frustration, hatred, jealousy and love. I could sense that the untimely death of my sisterovershadowed my parents’ happiness. They normally avoidedtalking about her as it hacked their memories painfully. I, wonder, if this grief of theirs would keep them company into eternity.Due to a quarrel with a group of fellow students I wantedto sit alone during recess that morning. As mentioned earlier, Iprefer a solitary life to joining a hilarious crowd. I was really downand listless. I freaked out when a friend offered to play with me.Every little thing simply irritated me and I did not feel like talking tomy friends or even my cousins. At that point of time I wouldn’t evenconfide with my mother. I thought it would be best that she was keptignorant regarding her daughter’s solitude. Thus to some extent Ifelt calmed. But this was no consolation for a person as sensitive asme. Man is a social animal and cannot afford to lead a forlorn andmiserable life. My parents have inculcated in me love for books from avery early age. Books have always been constant companions intimes of loneliness and I survive any fear of loneliness. Days passedby and my anxiety grew. I started thinking about how to tell mymother about this incident but dismissed the thought almostspontaneously.A few days later something weird happened. It was acold Saturday afternoon. After finishing meal, suddenly I startedfeeling very sleepy. I could hardly understand what was happening
 
around me. It was so mysterious. I excused myself into sleep. Dadwas surprised as it was very unlike me to rest in the afternoons.Some unknown power seemed to have carried me overbeautiful hills and dales, slowly lowering me onto the soft grass. There at a distance I saw a young girl with a childish face smile atme beckoning me to her. I could identify my mother’s eyes in herand she wore an angelic look. I was amazed at her pretty looks and Icould identify my dad in her smile. The radiance of her face mademe feel reassured. The very first words she uttered were, “Sister,welcome to my world!” What a joy I thought to have had thatexperience! (This was before I knew what the Bible says about thestate of the dead.) Then she told me to stop fretting over theinsignificant things of the past that seemed to mar my days and tostart making new friends. Finally, as it was getting dark, I think mysister sensed the fear in me because I usually am afraid of the dark.It was time to go home, Ivy came up with her parting words “ Neverfeel lonely; tell mom whatever happens because she’s best fitted tosolve your problems.” Just then my mom woke me from my sleep for tea. I couldnot share the dream with her but I did tell dad. Dad told me to hearthe inner voice within me. He further told me that God would alwayssend his guardian angels to protect me in times of crisis. That wasthe turning point of my life. I wish the appearance of my sister weretrue. Now, I know that the dead know nothing of whatever happensto the living, and that they cannot communicate with the living. Today, I keep my past behind me and look forward to thefuture. I face difficulties with determination praying for success in allmy ventures. As I step into the cruel and materialistic world I strivefor what I endeavor. I work hard to build a rapport with my friendsand family members and in doing so I try to be enterprising so that Ican win the hearts of those who dislike me. Today I listen to thevoice of God’s Spirit, and do not envy friends or foes for anything. I just keep dreaming of the glorious dawn when I hope to meet mylong separated sister. What a reunion that is going to be!
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