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The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary
Above board
[adj.]Honest and open. "I don't think you've been totally aboveboard with me."
Acluistic
[adj.]The state of being completely "without a clue."
Action item
[n.]A short term goal that requires some work to complete.Basically a dynamic, proactive version of the thingsscribbled on your 'to do' list.
Actionable
[adj.]Originally a legal word meaning anything that affordsgrounds for a lawsuit. Business people have perverted it tomean anything on which an action can be taken.
Adhocracy
[n.]A minimally structured business where teams are formedas they are needed to address specific problems.
Administrivia
[n.]A term that encompasses all the trivial tasks thatmanagement is far too qualified to suffer through.
Adoption process
[n.]The steps that a consumer will go through before trustingyour product.
Agreeance
[n.]A fancier way of saying agreement. "Are we in agreeance?"
Air it out
[v.]To discuss an issue openly. "I heard you had a problemwith some of our business practices. Let's get your teamtogether and air it out this afternoon."
All-handsmeeting
[n.]A mandatory meeting for all employees. "Bob called an all-hands meeting this afternoon. It's never a good sign whenhe's willing to freeze the whole department for an hour."Let the navy keep the boating slang.
Alpha geek
[n.]The head of your company's IT department.
Alpha pup
[n.]Trendsetting young people. Important targets formarketing to this age group. "Let's get six alpha pups inhere for a focus group."
Amped
[adj.]Having a large amount of energy. "I'm so amped about thisnew product line."
Anacronym
[n.]An acronym that is so old, no one remembers the originalphrase. Examples include RADAR, ASCII, and SNAFU.
Anecgloat
[n.]A story of one's exploits that is intended to impress. Maybe partly fictional.
Anointed
[n.]An employee that can't seem to do anything wrong in theeyes of management.
Anonymize
[v.]To make anonymous.
Anticipointment
[n.]The feeling that something didn't live up to its hype.
 
Apple polish
[v.]To suck-up, flatter.
Armchair general
[n.]Someone who speaks critically, but has no experience inthe field in question.
Arrows to fire
[exp.]Points to use in an argument. "Now if you don't haveanymore arrows to fire, I think we're finished here."
Assmosis
[v.]The apparent absorption of success that comes fromsucking up.
At this juncture
[exp.]As of now. "We're not prepared to go public at this juncture." You can just taste the pretension dripping off this one.
B-school
[n.]Business school. "We were tight back in b-school."
Back door
[adj.]Unethical or dishonest.
Bad paper
[n.]A payment made in worthless currency (cash or cheque)
Bag of snakes
[n.]A business situation with many unexpected problems.
Bait and switch
[v.]To advertise low priced items that aren't actually available.
Baked-in
[adj.]Included. "Those options are already baked in with thismodel."
Ballpark
[n.]An estimate. "Can you ballpark the cost per unit for me?"
Band-aid
[v.]To apply a trivial solution to a problem. "We'll band-aid thesituation for now."
Bandwidth
[n.]The physical and mental limit of your working ability. Letthe techies keep this word, seriously.
Bang for thebuck
[n.]The level of return on invested money.
Bangalored
[adj.]Having been fired after your position was transferred toIndia.
Bankroll
[v.]To finance.
Banner year
[n.]The best year in history for a given firm. Most likely, you'renot having one of these.
Barnburner
[n.]An exciting situation.
Base-tending
[v.]To guard one's assets.
Bat a thousand
[exp.]A baseball term meaning a 100% success rate.
Batting average
[n.]Indicates the percentage of time that someone orsomething is successful. "We need to bring up our battingaverage in the overseas market."
 
Bean-counter
[n.]A derogatory term for an accountant. "The bean-countersare coming in for another audit next week."
Beat the bushes
[v.]Marketing to unconventional or rural areas.
Beef up
[v.]To make stronger.
Behind the eightball
[exp.]In a difficult position.
Bell ringer
[n.]A door to door salesman.
Best practices
[n.]Procedures and policies that have shown to be the mosteffective.
Betamaxed
[v.]When a product is overtaken by an inferior, but wellmarketed alternative.
Big enchilada
[n.]An important person within an organization.
Black box
[n.]New and unknown technology about which uninformeddecisions are often made.
Blamestorming
[v.]Meeting to discuss a failure and find a scapegoat.
Bleed
[v.]Extract a large sum of money from an organization orindividual.
Bleeding-edge
[adj.]Something even more current than the 'cutting-edge'.Reserved for only the most novel (read: hyped)technologies.
Blow by blow
[exp.]To cover all the details.
Blow hot andcold
[v.]To frequently change one's mind.
Blow-in
[n.]Advertising materials inserted between the pages of amagazine that you'll spend 10 minutes removing before it'sreadable.
Blue hairs
[exp.]A derogatory term for a female seniors.
BOHICA
[exp.]An acronym for Bend Over Here It Comes Again. Prettymuch captures how many wage slaves feel about their job.
Boiler room
[n.]A sales firm with questionable practices.
Book the goods
[v.]A really slick way of saying "place an order."
Boondoggle
[n.]An unethical use of public money.
Boot camp
[n.]A company training program.
Boot strapbusiness
[n.]A company started with very little capital.
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vivekshank

Hi, The contents of this doc. are superb. Good piece of work. Can u pls mail me this doc at viveksood007@gmail.com Thax in advance!!!!

reply01 / 19 / 2010
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