As the end of February draws near, I\u2019ve been finding myself staying
up later and sleeping badly. This happens to me every year. March should be
a happy month for me because Gale\u2019s birthday is in about 2 weeks and I
always get excited about that. The problem is that the anniversary of Annie\u2019s
death is just a few days apart from that day on which I should focus all my
attention and happiness, and I always try my best to make that a great day
for Gale. I\u2019ve never mentioned to Gale how close the dates coincide because
I don\u2019t want to ruin her own special day. I find it so unfair and ironic that
Annie met every insignificant girlfriend I ever had for like ten years as I
struggled to find love, but passed away before she could ever meet Gale, my
wife. And what really kills me is that they would have loved each other.
Annie was always fascinated by my relationships and if I met someone she
would throw herself heart and soul into getting to know them, taking them to
lunch while I was working, going shopping, etc. Sometimes it created
problems because Annie was beautiful and quite charismatic so whenever I
got into a relationship where the girl had insecurities, it seemed as if issues
about my friendship with Annie would arise. And I\u2019ll admit it was a strange
relationship but you would have to know the whole story to understand. As
my writing improves eventually I will write my next book about that time in
my life because it really did change everything about me and taught me that
anything is possible if you put your heart into it. But most of all because
Annie\u2019s story needs to be told. She was unique, misunderstood, artistic, and
so full of love and her story would make for incredible reading and perhaps
heal some of the pain I still feel from her death.

Annie used to tell me that when I met the right one and got married
that she would become her best friend and that I would have to add an extra
room in the house so she could always visit and they could go shopping and
do other things. She told me that my wife would become the sister she
always wanted. My wife and I love is travel around in search of little
boutiques that sell neat home d\u00e9cor or just eclectic items and Annie loved to
do the same thing and she had a knack for finding the coolest places. Annie
used to drag me to Coventry in Cleveland and to all the latest galleries in
Tremont. She seemed to personally know every significant artist in greater
Cleveland and insisted that I accompany her to showings and exhibitions.
Gale and Annie would have had so much fun together. And she would have
adored Brittney, my stepdaughter who is just so cool with a great personality
to match.

I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with is as much as Annie
talked about love and showed me what it meant to love, she never actually
got to experience it before she died and that just kills me inside. The few

boyfriends that Annie had during the ten years that I knew her were all artsy
types and each short relationship failed and I\u2019d find her knocking at my door
crying in the middle of the night. She had the worst taste in men. One of her
boyfriends was directing a play. Annie would take the members of the cast
out to lunch since none of them ever had any money and Annie had a great
job. She became best friends with the lead actress. Her boyfriend was
casting \u201cA funny thing happened on the way to the forum\u201d at Kent State
University. Everything seemed to be going right with that one. She even
moved in with him and bought him a big screen TV. He seemed nice enough
when I met him. But one day she took a half-day off of work to spend time
with him, came home, and found him in bed with the same girl he had cast
to play the lead and that Annie had befriended. She spent a week at my
house after that one. Then there was the \u201cpretty boy\u201d; I can\u2019t remember his
name. I knew he was trouble from the start, but Annie was so giddy talking
about him, that I told myself to not butt in even though everything about this
guy said \u201cPlayer\u201d. He was really handsome, his hair shoulder length, a cool
looking goatee, very young, actually younger than her. He was a sophomore
at KSU where Annie\u2019s work had sent her to attend classes and I swear to
God every time I met them at Brady\u2019s caf\u00e9 for lunch, five or six girls would
be waving at him or saying hello and glaring at Annie. I finally mentioned it
to her, but she insisted that he was just \u201cfriendly\u201d and that his charisma
attracted girls but she could deal with it because he had told her that he loved
her. Annie told me that I was letting my jaded views on love cloud my
judgment and that I should give him a chance. This time at least when she
found out that he was cheating, she didn\u2019t catch them in bed. At that point
our friendship evolved into something truly special. We had constant
discussions about love and what it truly meant. We searched the personals,
laughing at the stupid ads, and marveling at how many desperate people
there were out there looking for love. She began to do everything she could
think of to turn my views around on hoe I looked at life and love, and the
miraculous thing about it is she succeeded and I can never thank her enough
for giving me a chance to be happy. I miss her friendship so badly. Gale\u2019s
personality would have meshed so perfectly with Annie\u2019s because each of
them shared so many traits, always happy and laughing, a great sense of
humor, a million little things it seems.

I\u2019m rambling like I tend to do when I get sad. It\u2019s really going to be
tough these next two weeks. I was only going to write a few sentences and
this turned into a blog. My facebook friends probably think I\u2019m nuts and
manic depressive. I\u2019m not. It\u2019s just a hard time for me this time of year, and I
needed to get this out there, if for nothing else than to let Annie know that I