Lilly and DeathChapter OneThe doorbell rang. As I approached the door a strange foreboding came over me andI hesitated. I flung the door wide open. And… and, even now words fail me but I’lltry to find them. You were powerful in a way I had not experienced before.Something of this power had seeped into my hallway and that’s what had made mehesitate. There was danger there too. And I wanted you. I felt the want rise frommy groin to meet my heart in an explosion of something I could nearly taste.‘To be honest I wasn’t expecting you,’ I said with a smirk. I felt reckless. Iwanted to spend more time in your presence even though I knew you being therespelt the end of my current existence. You were silent for ages and I didn’t knowwhat to make of it. I stared at you, lost in your magnificence.You laughed. You sounded nervous. You said, ‘well,’ and you drew the ll out ofwell. I liked it and I didn’t know why. I felt my heart expand. ‘I’m here now,’you said and I celebrated inwardly.‘I’m ready.’ I said and I was. Ready for you. ‘Would you like to come in?’ I’venever seen someone change before my eyes like you did then. The whole of yousagged then you bowed your head and walked in. As you glided past me I sensed yourdespair and my heart lurched. You didn’t want to take me. I wondered how I couldmake this easier for you. I asked if I could get you anything and you shook yourhead. You seemed frozen and far away from me. ‘Breathe,’ I whispered under mybreath and you did, deep long breaths that brought you back to me.We sat in silence for a long time. I felt your sadness and I stayed with it, withyou. You cried softly then you let out big heaving sobs. I know how that feels andI sat there with you silently cheering you on. Silence came once more and I askedagain if I could get you anything. You asked for a cup of tea. That surprised me.The mundanity of it surprised me. I rose to make my way to the kitchen and beforeI took my first step I turned to you and placed my hand on your shoulder. It wassupposed to be a touch of… what? Empathy, I guess.It was a connection unlike any other I’ve felt. I felt extended. I felt the edgesbetween us blur. I felt you. Your essence. I felt your essence and it wasbeautiful and I fell in love. And I felt loved. It was radiant. It was golden. Icaught my breath and moved as quickly as I could to the kitchen.In the safety of the kitchen I splayed my hands on the work top and gasped forbreath. Emotion was choking me. No… This can’t… I want… I was going to die and I’dfallen in love with Death. Does this happen to everyone? Does It entrance themwith It’s beauty? Am I one of many? My chest heaved and tears ran down my cheeks.I wanted to stay here in the kitchen forever. I took some deep breaths, made thetea and brought it to you.I asked you how you were feeling. Your answer confused me to be honest and tocover up my confusion I blurted, ‘is it time now?’ ‘Yes,’ you answered and bowedyour head. You looked lost in thought for a while then raised your headjubilantly. Then you smiled at me and I felt bathed in gratitude. You thanked mefor changing your outlook. I didn’t really understand but the feeling waswonderful so I smiled and closed my eyes. I felt ready for you to take me.My awareness changed. I became light. I waited. I felt peaceful while I waiteddespite not knowing what I was waiting for. ‘All will be revealed,’ I thought. Inoticed I could still have thoughts. I felt golden. Warm. Glowing. I wondered
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