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A Winter Stroll
Sun was starting to become a rare sight in this small town. Normally, by this time of year, budswould start to bloom as the snow melts. No such luck. Staring outside my window right now, makes methink about how much I can relate to all of the fluffy snow. I'm not yet sure if that's good or bad. Takinga long walk in the heavy, cold weather crossed my mind for a second. I shook my head slightly, thatwasn't a very smart idea. As the weatherman on my tiny television says, it's about thirty degrees belowzero. For December thirty first, that's pretty cold.I looked around the large living room filled with relatives. The tension in the air was so thick that I could hardly breath. My eyes darted back to the frost-bitten window. This, of course, I had predicted the second my mother told me that my grand-parents and my aunts/uncle/cousin were comingover to celebrate the new year. I don't know why she bothered to invite them. Everyone hates eachother, to put it bluntly.I could
clearly
hear the screeching voice of my grand-mother as she happily talked with myfather (also know as her son). I could almost hear the fact that she was pointedly ignoring my mother. Not bothering to see what everyone else was doing, my thoughts went back to my silent suggestionfrom earlier.Should I take a walk outside? It
was
awfully cold...My eyes slowly shifted to the sight of aseverely broken family. Then again, I thought, I'd rather freeze than stay here. Slowly standing up fromthe flat window seat, I tip-toed to the front foyer, as to not grab the unwanted attention of a relative.Silently, I quickly grabbed my coat, scarf, earmuffs and gloves, as well as putting on my boats. Stiffly, Iunlocked and opened the front door, then stepped out, while closing it behind me.As I descended down the front steps of the porch, I swiftly put on my scarf and my coat.Making my way down the path and along the sidewalk, I tilted my head up to gaze at a snow-filled tree.I've never seen it snow so hard before. After a while of aimlessly walking, I paused in my stride as Irealized I was standing in the entrance of the town's national park. I softly pushed the iron gate open just enough for me to squeeze through. I could feel the snow crunch under my weight as I walked alongthe path.It was beautiful. Now that the amount of snow had decreased, I could actually see mysurroundings. The pathway had a light layer of pure, untouched snow on it, while heavy heaps of snowwere settled on the branches of all of the bear trees. It seemed that the snow glowed as the sunlight wasreflected off of it.As I trudged on further, I thought of my dilemma at hand. If I had known this would be theoutcome of experiencing “love”, I would have resined myself to the life of a nun at the age of six.Whoever said “Love hurts” had the right idea. My sad, pathetic story is quite common, if you think about it. Girl loves boy. Boy loves another. Girl is heartbroken. I have to admit, I was expecting this thesecond I saw him give her 
that
smile. You know, the one filled with admiration, love, and longing.What I'd give for him to smile at me like that. The thing is; she doesn't like him back, I don't even think she realizes he likes her. She likes this other guy, who doesn't like her back. The ironic part is; she is
 
one of my closest friends.Sometimes I would think, what does she have that I don't? But I know that isn't right. She's oneof my closest friends, I should find it cute that an awesome guy has fallen for her. Not be jealous. Nowthat I think about it, the guy has liked her for a couple years, now. I guess it just wasn't meant to happen between us.I clutched my earmuffs, tightly, trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. I haltedas the path split into two. I took the left path.Glaring at the hundreds of trees that lined the new path, I quickened my stride. I'm so pathetic; I'vetold myself this so many times. Yet, I never seem to change.Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me; it would explain why I've never hadmuch luck with the male race.Maybe I'm too noisy? That's a little far-fetched considering a couple of my friends are MUCHlouder than me, yet most of them have had more than one boyfriend...Maybe I'm not noisy enough? Nah. That would be just weird.I'm not a lot of things, I guess that's what bugs me. I've always wanted to be perfect ineverything I do, I've never succeeded, though. My motivation to be perfect is pretty childish, too.“
 I want to prove that I will never become my sister. I'll be perfect.”
Yeah, it sounded better as a suggestion in my head. If I would tell someone that, they wouldhave no clue as to why. If you met my sister, you'd find her nice and out-going. If you met me, you'dthink I'm an ugly and shy nerd. I had always looked up to her when I was younger, always wanting to be like her, someone who speaks her mind, not afraid of what someone may say. Someone smart,someone beautiful, someone who will stand-up for herself. Someone who wasn't like me. Now, all I feel is bitterness towards her. I guess you over-look certain things when you are asyoung as I was. I missed the fact that she always lied to me and never remembered to visit me, evenwhen she said she would. Well, let's just say that my naivety to her real nature faded many years ago. Irealized all of the hidden facts and lies in one sharp hit. She is no longer a secret to me; she's amurderer. The murderer of the trust I had for her.As I slowed down to a halt, I realized just how far I had ran along the path without evennoticing. Another thing occurred to me; I am freezing. And by freezing, I mean that my lips have probably discovered a new shade of blue by now. Oh well, nothing much I could do. So, I pulled mycoat tighter around my body as I surveyed my new surroundings. I was beside the old pond. There wasa new pond closer to the entrance, but I found that this one was much more calming, in a sense. For one, it has definitely seen more days than some of the other things in the park and it had a more serenekind of feeling. I remembered playing around the pond and seeing how many fish I could name beforethey swam away into hiding. I only got up to Marnie, she was the sixth fish.I'm straying off topic again. I seem to do that more often, don't I? Oh well.I slowly sat down on my knees at the edge of the frozen pond. Cautiously, I tilted forwards and
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