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Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche on "LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS" (Singapore 2012)

Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche on "LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS" (Singapore 2012)

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Published by Teong Hin Ooi
A talk in Singapore on 8 April 2012....(Transcribed from YouTube video “Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP”)
You can also follow this in my facebook in the photo album of the same name.
A talk in Singapore on 8 April 2012....(Transcribed from YouTube video “Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP”)
You can also follow this in my facebook in the photo album of the same name.

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Published by: Teong Hin Ooi on Mar 04, 2013
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02/11/2014

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 DZONGSAR JAMYANG KHYENTSE RINPOCHE ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS  A talk in Singapore on 8 April 2012... (Part 1/4) I believe that we are going to talk about relationship and love, and all those stuff
today. And probably I’m not the right person to talk about these things.
But on the other hand, I maybe the very right person, because, mmm, this maybe a little bit uncomfortable for some of you to hear. But I have many teachers that I have received teachings from. They are I would say, really, eh, Buddha in person
 –
 their kindness, compassion, their tolerance, and, and in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, it is believed the guru comes in many different manifestations. So, in this context, I would
 
say that I have also learned some, something so precious and awakening from a girl whom I fall in love
 –
 madly.
Eh, I tried to call her last night, but I could not mention her name; but she’s not available. So right now, all I could say she’
s a Dutch
 –
 very beautiful, free-spirited; eh, and her parents are kind of Bohemian hippie, you know. So this was when I was around early twenties; and with the permission of my main teacher, and I decided to go to London to study. And for the first time, I left the traditional surrounding where
there’
re things like brocade as a table cloth, high thrones, eh, attendants; basically, mm, almost like godly life in one way. I went and; I went to London and I was alone. And I learnt a lot of things like making breakfast, for instance. And going to supermarket and almost buying a cat food thinking that it is for human beings. So it was a big lesson. Actually I dare say this, but many younger generation lamas, Rinpoches, really, you know, extreme, eh, esteemed high lamas - I think they should go through this. So this is what I suggest actually; it
should be in the part of Rinpoche’s training curriculum.
 They should fall in love; and of course, they should make toast and go to supermarket, so on and so forth. But they should also fall in love and then this girl should reject him. Because then we know what is suffering. Because until then when we talk about the truth of suffering, we are always talking about things that are written in the books, like death, old age, sickness, all abstract stuff. Most of the
lamas don’t know what is meant by paying bills,
you know, the pleasure of living in a modern society. I have learnt a lot, but most importantly this girl taught me a lot. I have, because I was completely, madly in love, I think; and because she was very free-spirited
 –
 really, extremely free-spirited, I would say. Growing, I think she grow up in a hippie community, so for her; like she was, like amazingly free-spirited. Sometimes she; we would travel in the subway and then she would, you know,
nudge me and say “What do you think of that boy?”
 You know, like somebody travelling, you know, just ordinary passenger. And before long she would be talking to him, and then after a few days they were already together
 –
 a night or two
 –
 not long. You know, she discarded him also. She, in her own way, she was very loyal to me and, but it was so PAINFUL!
 
 And here I’
m supposed to be
the lama who’
s supposed to teach the free spirit, non-attachment, do whatever you want. And th
ere’s this girl
, jolly, all the time happy, and really giving me a really precious teaching. I must really consider her as one of my awakening teachers; so special, I would say. So, I can, I think, in some ways maybe I could, I could talk about relationship. (Pause)
In Buddhism, I’m sure many of you know we talk about love and compassion.
 But
when we talk about love and what we’re supposed to discuss this time, the love –
 they are different. In Buddhism and especially in Mahayana Buddhism, but not only in Mahayana actually; in Buddhism we talk about metta, karuna, but this kind of love taught in Buddhism is what we call limitless love. Some of you who are familiar with the Buddhist concept of Four Limitless Thoughts, you would know. In fact, love is the first thing out of four limitless practice we are introduced. (Tibetan phrase) And definition of the love is wishing all sentient beings to be happy and not only to be happy, but to have the sense of gathering the cause of happiness.  And such kind of love is aimed at ALL sentient beings. Therefore the object is limitless. Such kind of love has no personal agenda. So from the intention point of view, it is limitless. Such kind of love is not only aimed at acquiring happiness in the sense of, you know, mundane happiness. But this kind of love is really, eh, aimed at true happiness which is enlightenment or in other words, to awaken from net of delusion. So, eh, it is limitless. It is not limited as how we, mm, you know, the ordinary concept of love. Eh, those who are coming
 –
 no need to do prostrations
 –
 okay, yeah, please. We could have done this in the same place as last night
 –
 in front of the holy shrine. And the purpose of moving to Post Office is so that we can talk some unwholesome stuff.
 And the prostrations and all of that, kind of, it’s a, maybe not necessary; and besides
that, it distracts me.
So, love and relationship; what’s the time now? Okay. Love and relationship that we
are, you know, expecting to discuss, is really not taught in Buddhism. I have to tell you that. This is why I always think Buddhism is not going to grow so much. Buddhism deals with the truth. Truth is something that generally people are not that interested. Buddhism talks about things like impermanence, eh, illusion
 –
 not many people are interested in those things. So with this, if you go through sutras or shastras; (attendant talks to Rinpoche about the mike) no problem
 –
 okay, can you hear now? Eh, what was it that I was saying? Oh, yeah. So in the sutras and

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