Question: Why people always feel loneliness? Is it because we are insecure or lack of sense of belonging and also we do not know who we are? And it follows with the second question: why do we need companions?
Why can’t we
Rinpoche: Well, if we can live alone, that would be very good. This is what the yogis
are good at; that’s why they are free from all kinds of
baggage. Eh, well, the loneliness
this is kind of philosophical question for me actually. The loneliness is rooted, according to Buddhism, again to this insecurity that I was talking about.
When I say ‘insecurity’, I am talking about basically
- even though we say me, I am
David, I’m this, I’m that, even we have a name, a position, a job, a
husband, wife, a
degree, mm, I don’t know, a flat, car, eh, I don’t know, mm, penthouse, all of these –
on going, there’s an on
-going insecurity which is we never, have never been proved one hundred per cent that we exist. And actually all these like wrapping the skin, you know, cutting the wrist, getting a degree, and getting married; all of these is
actually we are doing this so that it’s
temporarily giving us some sense of existence. So this insecurity is actually; it can manifest as one because you know, you know. You know, I was talking to you earlier
the flower that I see, you’ll never see. So we can never share real flower. We can
just pretend that we are sharing. And that is so lonely. I can never share with you what I
am experiencing. It’s
’s so lonely. What I’m experiencing, only I can do it.
That, that is; now if, if
you are a Buddhist, loneliness is ‘dawn of wisdom’.
supposed to invest on this loneliness. If you are lonely, you are feeling awkward with this samsaric life. You ca
n sense it is not working. You can kind of feel that it’s all a
little bit, what you call it, overpromising, you know, sort of. So you can feel this. So this feeling awkward, feeling not belonging to this
is actually a very important mental factor that a practitioner is supposed to invest. Dezhung Rinpoche said this, if I modify this a little bit; you know when we, when we were young, the whole of our value is going to the beach and build, you know, sandcastle. And we get excited about it. We just love that castle.
After a while, when you’re around teenage
, sandcastle doesn’t do the trick anymore. It’s then, I don’t know, fast cars, video games; but then when you are around middle age, that doesn’t work. Then it would be job, it would be, I don’
position, it would be colleagues, marriage, blah, blah, blah. Then when you’re around