Deep Thoughts
Paul Bird
(Last edited 09/04/2002)
CONTENTS
Here are a few Updates <http://users.whsurf.net/paulbird/bookstuff>
PHYSICS HOME PAGE <physics.html> website

Contents
Introduction
What Things are Made of
Interactions and the Gravity Problem
Einstein's Bigger Blunder (still to come)
Spectacular Failures and How to Fix Them
How I Found it all out
Philosophy of the Self
Does Fate Exist?
Happiness
Warp Speed
Super Numbers
Why Don't Atoms Collapse?
Fitting the Pieces Together
Black Holes and the Big Bang
Them Damned Masses!
How I discovered Selfism
A Brief History
Scientists and Philosophers
Self and Society
Conclusion
Appendices
Diagrams
Mathematics
Glossary
Chapter 1
Introduction
Hello. My names Paul and I hope you'll join me as I tell you how I discovered the
secret to the Universe. Whether you are truly interested in my ideas, whether you
already know the secret to the Universe and would like to gloat over where I've
got it wrong or whether you are just bored and couldn't care less one way or the
other - all are welcome. 'Hang on a moment,' I here someone say, 'why do you want
to tell me about it - for I am but a lay person with nowt but a slender grasp on
geometry? Surely you would be much better off talking to some seasoned academic
from yonder University of Oxbridgeford. For they are wise and great.' But I say to
you, no. For an academic no more has the answers to the meaning of the universe
than a priest has to the meaning of life. Surely, both have strongly held beliefs
about what is right and what is wrong. But trying to convince an academic of a new
idea is similar in scale to trying to convert a Catholic priest to Hinduism.
'Surely not,' I here someone remark. 'For an academic believes only what is true.'
Nay, but cannot the same be said of a Catholic Priest or a Hindu Swami?

It is customary in anecdotes such as these for you to claim that you were destined
to find the secret to the Universe and point at some point in your childhood which
proves this point. But this is silly. If I were a fireman I would probably claim
it was my destiny ever since age four when I refused to play with matches. Or if I
were a deep-sea diver I could claim that this was my destiny because at age 3 I
liked taking baths! Particularly as I was under 21 when I had my main inspiration
which in America is still considered juvenile I will skip this part. In fact I
will skip most parts about my personal life because as a human being, the only
sense of self I have is my memories and I'm not prostetutin' them for anyone!
Instead I will concentrate on the ideas - you might think of this as a case study
into scientific intuition.
Before you get any ideas, let me tell you that you will not learn anything
remotely useful by reading this book. Knowing the secret to the universe will not
get you off work in the morning, it will not make your cornflakes taste any
better, it will not make you any more attractive to the opposite sex (as far as I
know), and it will not make you rich. On the last point I should add that there is
one way to make money out of knowing the secret to the universe and that is to
write a book entitled 'How I discovered the Secret to the Universe' but tough
luck, mate, because I've already done that! 'OK, so why should I read your book,
mister?' Could you not read it for its entertainment value, or for the
satisfaction of learning something new, or, you know, just for a laugh? 'Well I
suppose....'
You might be thinking, quite reasonably, that I could have simply made up the
secret to the Universe. But let me assure you that this is not the case. Secondly,
I'm most definitely not a lunatic, although your entitled to make up your own mind
on this point - after you've finished the book.
This is my second attempt at writing a book about the Universe, the first which I
started before I even knew the answer (if that's not confidence for you, I don't
know what is!) would not have sold well. Given that every inclusion of an equation
in a book is estimated to half the sales (or so Mr Stephen Hawking says) then that
book would have sold approximately 1 copy, if that. And that would probably have
been bought by my mum! This time, I am dispensing with equations and simply using
the power of the written word to express my discoveries. I did include one
however, seeing that the Theory of Everything essentially is an equation it seemed
appropriate to include it. (see Appendix I). It's not really as quotable as 'E
equals M C squared.' Its rough translation might be 'A equals trace E to the B
minus trace B integrated over four dimensional super-quaternion space.' You're not
meant to understand what this means, (if you did there would be no point reading
the rest of the book!) Its just something that you could memorise and quote at
dinner parties, should you be into that sort of thing.
Sorry to be a spoil sport, but the number '42' has very little to do with the
Theory of Everything and the Universe in general. The closest number, which is the
number of different types of particles in the universe is '39'. (See appendix I).
If you like you could count the last 3 twice but why would you want to do that?
Are you crazy or something? Other things that have very little to do with the
Theory of Everything are the Pyramids of Geezer, Little Green Aliens or Big Foot.
So these things will not be mentioned henceforth.
One piece of information which you may like to remember when you embark on your
own deep thoughts is this: 'Most things are as they appear to be.' No matter how
hard you think about something you will pretty much find that 'it is what it is'.
No matter what some philosopher says about it. Space is that big empty thing in
the night sky, time is the thing our watches measure, life is life, death is
death, I am me and you are you. Space is not a rubber sheet, time is not a flowing
river, life is not an inner flame, death is not a final journey, I am not the same
as you nor you the same as me. So I hope that's cleared that up!
You don't have to know any detailed geometry or maths to understand this book. In
fact as long as you can add up to four you shouldn't have any major difficulties.
A good rule to go by when constructing Theories of Everything is that if you end

up with more than two digits you've probably gone wrong somewhere! Big numbers
just aren't important in physics. It doesn't really matter exactly how many miles
the Universe is across or exactly how many days it was since the Beginning. All we
really need to know is that the universe is very very big and also very very old.
The Theory of the Universe can be derived from certain basic principles. The 2
main principles that I wish to impart to you, reader, will be the 'weight
principle' and the 'quaternion principle'. Once you understand these basic
principles, the rest will follow. The Fundamental Philosophy which we shall also
be talking about might also be derived from certain principles. These include the
'Self principle', the 'fate principle' and the 'belief principle'. I shall
undoubtedly be talking about other stuff too. You might not agree with all of it
but I hope it will at least inspire you in some way in your own deep thoughts.
I've tried not to go over too much old ground and if I have I hope I've at least
done it in an original way.
Sometimes when you're feeling a bit 'intellectual', you want to read something
deep and meaningful. Usually you can never find such a book or the books you do
find are too dry. This is my view of what a 'deep' book should be about. I hope
you enjoy it.
.Chapter 2

What things are made of.
I'd better start by explaining a bit about the subject in hand. Now I've read most
of the popular books about physics on the market and by Zeus they are dull! To
save you from this I will be as brief as possible.
If you take an apple for instance (it doesn't have to be an apple - an aardvark
would do equally well) and chop it in half, and then take one of those halves and
chop it in half again, then keep doing this about eighty-five times (more if you
have used an aardvark) then you will end up with an atom. All things are made of
atoms. But what's an atom made of? All atoms have protons in the centre and
electrons round the outside. Protons are made of 3 other things called quarks. Got
that? If you haven't you can read it again. I'll wait.
But what are electrons and quarks? This is the tricky bit and I don't expect you
to believe me when I tell you that they are blurs. That's right, they are little
tiny smudges. The electron-smudges smudge around the outside of an atom while the
quark-smudges smudge around in the centre. 'Surely not!' I here someone say.
'Aren't they little tiny spheres?' OK, but a sphere is made of something. What's
it made of? 'Erm, well not spheres then - tiny points with no size at all?' This
is a common misconception. People have had this idea since the Greeks who had
thought of atoms by pure imagination and without any of the scientific equipment
we have today. But there is a problem with points.
If you shine a torch at a wall the light doesn't go straight through the wall and
out the other side. This is because the particles of light interact somehow with
the atoms in the wall. In fact they interact with the electrons in the atoms. Now
if all these particles were huge spheres, then they would have lots of opportunity
to bounce off each other. If they were smaller spheres they might miss each other.
And if they were points they would have absolutely no chance of hitting each other
and the light would go straight through the wall. So it is impossible that
electrons can be points.
So if electrons are blurs, they have blurred edges, so how do they interact with
other blurs? To find out how, it would be useful if we could expand these blurs to
a very big size. And that is exactly what people did. Infact it is going on in
millions of peoples television sets right now! If an electron blur escapes from an
atom, it spreads out in all directions. This is what is referred to as a wave.
This spread-out blur behaves very much like a water wave and we know how water
waves interact with other water waves - like the ripples in a pond when you throw
2 stones in. These electron waves escape from the atoms at the back of your
television set and are projected onto the screen to form an image.
Let's recap. Electrons, quarks and other so-called particles are normally very