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Raising Daughters by Shaykh 'Alee Al-Haddaadee

Raising Daughters by Shaykh 'Alee Al-Haddaadee

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Published by Mountainofknowledge
The Messenger - صلى الله عليه وسلم - said:

"A man is a care taker of his household and will be questioned about them. A woman is also a caretaker in her husband's household and will be questioned about that."

http://www.subulassalaam.com/articles/article.cfm?article_id=115#.UTs7XtYyZfQ
The Messenger - صلى الله عليه وسلم - said:

"A man is a care taker of his household and will be questioned about them. A woman is also a caretaker in her husband's household and will be questioned about that."

http://www.subulassalaam.com/articles/article.cfm?article_id=115#.UTs7XtYyZfQ

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Published by: Mountainofknowledge on Mar 09, 2013
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03/10/2013

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Raising Daughters by Shaykh 'Alee al-Haddaadee
Source:
http://www.subulassalaam.com/articles/article.cfm?article_id=115#.UTs1N9YyZfQ 
All praise is due to Allaah and may the Salaat and Salaam be upon His servant and messengerMuhammad, his family and companions.To proceed:Noble reader, each and every one of you is surely going to be resurrected after his death, andquestioned and taken into account for his actions in the life of this world. Amongst the issuesthat a servant would be questioned about, is his family and children, how did he look after andraise them. Concerning this, the Messenger - - said:"A man is a care taker of his household and will be questioned about them. A woman is also acaretaker in her husband's household and will be questioned about that."The topic of upbringing and raising children is an extensive one, so I will limit this essay to raisingdaughters specifically, due to their great importance and wide ranging effect on society - inmanners and behavior. For indeed when a girl grows up, she becomes a wife, a mother, ateacher in addition to other responsibilities that await her in life. If she is rectified, a lot of otheraffairs would be rectified as a direct result, and if the she is ruined, a lot of affairs would also beconsequently ruined.The following concise essay will revolve around the following points:The Virtues of Having Girls and the Falsity of Pre-Islaamic Ways.Being Kind to Daughters
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Methods and Examples.Choosing a Good Mother.Choosing a Good Name.Providing for their Physical Needs such Food, Clothing and Medicine.Being Generous, kind and Merciful to Them.Being Just Between Them and their Siblings whether they are Boys or Girls.Bringing them up Islamicaly and getting them Accustomed to this while they are Young.Teaching and Preparing them for a Married Life.Being keen on Marrying Them to Men of Good Religion and Character.Visiting them and Enjoining Ties with them after they get Married.
 
 
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 Methods of Protecting them from the Dangers of Present day Society.The Uprightness and Righteousness of the Parents.Supplicating for Her.Continuously Advising and Directing Her.Directing Her to Choosing a Good Friend.Preserving the Home from the Mediums of Destruction.Carrying Out the Obligations of a Guardian.Maintaining Family Bonds.The Ideological Warfare.The virtues of Having Girls and the Falsity of Pre-Islaamic Discrimination.If we look at the Book of Allaah the Glorified, we find that He strongly rebukes pre-Islaamicways; that a man is displeased when he is given the glad tidings of a daughter, his face darkenswhile he is in as state of grief, he feels shy amongst his people so he avoids them out of embarrassment. He contemplates whether he is going to bury her or leave her upon hawn.Allaah strongly criticized them from this practice.There are, however, remnants of these pre-Islaamic ways that still live in the hearts of somemen, especially if a man's wife keeps giving birth to girls. Even though a woman is just like theearth in this case, in that it grows whatever the farmer plants in it, with some men, it hasreached the point where he would divorce his wife after she gives birth [to a girl]
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we seekrefuge with Allaah from such ignorance and cold heartedness.During the pre-Islaamic era, women had no status at all, a man would bury his daughter and yetraise his dog and feed his farm animals. Allaah falsified this lowly ideology and raised the statusof the woman to its natural level, a level that suits her and enables her to carry out herobligations, the rights she has over others and others have over her. He addressed the woman inthe same way He addressed the man in obligations and prohibitions, and He specified thewoman with some rulings that concern her specifically, rulings which suit her natural state.Having children is something that is predestined, it is in Allaah's Hands, He blesses whom hewills with girls and blesses whom he wills with boys. He blesses others with both boys and girlsand tests others with neither. Allaah the Elevated states:{To Allaah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. Hebestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He
 
 
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 wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He isAll-Knower and is Able to do all things.} [Ash Shooraa: 49-50]Contemplate over how he mentioned girls first before boys; this is an admonishment to thosewho belittle the status of women and consider them to be insignificant.So be pleased with whatever Allaah has decreed, for you do not know where goodness lies! Howmany fathers were contented by the tidings of a boy, who later only became a calamity for him,a cause for the decrease of his wealth and a continuous source of worry and misery for him. Andhow many a father was discontented by the news of a daughter while anticipating a son, andthis girl became not only a helping hand, but a merciful heart and continuous source of supportthroughout his life. From here we understand that contentment, in reality, is not due to having aboy or a girl, it is only realized if the child is righteous, whether it is male or female. Allaah theElevated said in describing the servants of al Rahmaan:{And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the righteous. } [Al Furqaan: 74]Being Kind to Daughters
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Methods and ExamplesMy Muslim brother; if Allah blesses you with daughters, be diligent in carrying out theirrights,.This includes raising them, providing for them and properly interacting with them, all thewhile anticipating the reward from Allaah. Do you know the amount of reward you will receiveby doing so? If you do this, you will be together with the Prophet- - in theafterlife, for a Hadeeth it states:"Whoever raises two girls until they mature will be together with me on the Day of Resurrection- and he joined two of his fingers side by side."[Collected by Muslim]He- - also said:"Whoever is tested with something by daughters and is good to them, they would be aprotection for him from the fire."[Collected by both Bukhaaree and Muslim]There are many ways of being good to daughters
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amongst them:Choosing a good mother; This is the first step in being good to your offspring, because arighteous mother is one of the causes of righteous children
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In Shaa Allaah. How many a childhas Allaah preserved due to the righteousness of his or her parents[1].

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