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Excerpted from ‘How to be a Pencilneck’ by Owen Garratt
 © Owen Garratt 2009
www.pencilneck.com
Al lRi ghts Res erv ed
.
MOM AND THE CRUISE SHIP Part Three
This was Calypso music? It sounded like a tubercular squadron of oldpropeller planes being taken out of moth balls. There was instrumental sputtering,coughing, futile revving, stalls, and heaving starts. Somehow, eventually they allgot going and idling at the proper rpms.It was like hearing ‘Row Row Row Your Boat’ in a round by a bunch of kindergarteners who couldn’t stay where they were supposed to.I nodded my leave to Doc Isaac and wandered around and saw that thedudes were the band, and Basil was the drummer.They were playing to an abandoned deck, so I, not realizing how muchthis sucks for the musicians, pulled up a deck chair and plopped down right infront of the four inch high stage.It was a four piece, with drums, bass, guitar, and a steel drum. It was thefirst tune of the night – whatever the hell it was, and the band was vamping on theriff. The heavily accented bass player began by welcoming the crowd
(me)
to TheLido Deck and informed us
(me)
that we
(I)
were being entertained
(you bet!)
by theMind Body and Soul Band from Kingston, Jamaica. I wasn’t sure if I should clap,but I did anyway – one wants to be polite. Basil thought it was funny, but theother dudes looked dryly at me.The tune was familiar, but I couldn’t get hold of it. The chord progressionfumbled back to the top and Bassman started singing, but it didn’t help a bit intrying to pin down the song. This was turning this into a sort of game of charades.Wait…its ‘Ladies Night’, by Kool and the Gang.
Holy Mackerel…?!?!? 
 
Excerpted from ‘How to be a Pencilneck’ by Owen Garratt
 © Owen Garratt 2009
www.pencilneck.com
Al lRi ghts Res erv ed
.
I’ve been asked – repeatedly – what on earth gave me the idea to coverRush’s ‘Tom Sawyer’ with bagpipes, and I have to say that it was watching theseguys maul ‘Ladies Night’.The steel drum was covering the keyboard parts and the horn section, andin some passages he had some difficult and unfortunate choices to make.Actually, I thought that it was kind of clever: he was adapting the music to fit hissituation, and the notion of breaking convention spoke to my depths. It reallywasn’t that good - it was more of an unintentional floor show than anything, but it
was 
interesting.We’ve all seen countless bands try The Arrangement Game, but to a 12year old, it was a revelation. According to these Mind Body and Soul chaps fromKingston, Jamaica, you could do what you wanted, because there was differentways to get the point across, not just what was on the record. The Mind Body andSoul Band didn’t do ‘Ladies Night’ very well, and they did ‘Funkytown’ evenworse, but they did lots of other tunes REALLY well, and it blew my mind.It’s easy to forget that 12 year olds don’t get to see much liveentertainment. School concerts and ‘white little old lady’ churches whereeveryone claps on the wrong beat is a far cry from a real gig.Until then music was a sanctified process that we could only accessthrough records, radio and TV. It was something done by someone somewhereelse. We could appreciate and enjoy music, but others created it. The people whocreated music were as disconnected from my day to day life as were politicians,actors, weather girls and millionaires.Sitting on a windswept deck, watching 4 musicians play a dreary gig -playing tunes they must’ve done under duress from the Cruise Director, was oneof those concentrated 4 or 5 hours that changed the whole course of my life, and
 
Excerpted from ‘How to be a Pencilneck’ by Owen Garratt
 © Owen Garratt 2009
www.pencilneck.com
Al lRi ghts Res erv ed
.
unlike most of times it happens to us, this time, I
knew 
it was happening AS it washappening.I played trumpet in the elementary school band, but this was real music.There was interaction, I could see, and hear, mistakes happening, but theycommunicated and worked things out on the fly. There was no sheet music, and noMr. Toddington barking orders and tapping that damn stick when things wentsideways. This was a group of individuals playing music, some good, some bad,but the professionalism was obvious…They were paid to do a gig, and they did.And my new hero Basil was having the most fun of all. He’s one of thosechaps who are always smiling, like he knows the secrets. I decided to figure outsome of those secrets too.Drumming. I can learn that…. I imagined my Mom and Basil’s Muddertrying to talk me out of it. “Whatchew won do be plain de drum Owen?”So, unfortunately for The Mind Body and Soul Band from Kingston,Jamaica, their new number one fan made himself somewhat of a fixture duringtheir 3 or 4 appearances everyday, and by mid-week they’d given up trying toditch me, and I was allowed the privilege of being snuck below decks, takingmeals with the crew, 3:00 am poker games, and generally soaking up the musicianlifestyle.And how in the world did I get away with that? Where the hell was myMudder while I was gallivanting below decks with complete strangers fromforeign lands?Well, she was sleeping as it turned out, but even now, I still can’t fathoman answer to this question. At home, my curfew was as soon as the streetlights
of 00

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