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TheGayChristian
VOL.III,No.1 THEGAYCHRISTIAN:JournaloftheNortheast DistrictoftheUniversalFellowshipof MetropolitanCommunityChurches;published byMetropolitanCommunityChurchofNewYork. Materialint.hismagazineisorigina1.unless otherwisecredited.Opinionsexpressedare thoseofthewritersonly.Pleasecredit TheGayChristianwhenreproducingfromus. Theappearanceofanynameinthismagazine shouldnotbetakenasanindicationofthat person'ssexualorientation. RoyBirchard,editorJamesE.Ricketson,copyandcirculation GeorgeBuehler,layout PatKasaras,cover Wewelc.omearticlesandnewsaboutGay Christianseverywhere.
"ID"
eam...
bySusanDay, Women'sRapGroup,MCCNewYork
IDREAM...ofachurchwhichhasnowalls, ofaworldwhereeverywhereischurch; ofacongregationinwhicheveryoneloves eachother,andthat'swhyit'sacongregation; ofaserviceinwhicheveryoneholdshands andembraces, embr~cingGodtogetherthen; ofprayersspokenwhennooneisafraid tospeakaloudtoGod, andlettheirsistersandbrothers joinintheirthoughts; ofaworldinwhichweeachministerto eachother, always; ofaGodwhodoesn'thavetobemaleorfemale, whiteorblack; ofaGodwhoisn'tonlyformaleorfemale, oldoryoung, richorpoor,whiteorblack; ...1dreamofthetimeI'llbeonewithGod. ALPHA,beginnowtostruggletowardthatof whichyoudream.
ContactPersonsForDenominationalGayCaucuses
AmericanBaptistGayCaucus Ms.LouiseRose,President Apt.A-405 649SouthHendersonRoadKingofPrussia,Pa.19406 DIGNITY/National(GayCatholics PaulDiederich,ExecutiveDirector Room5141105BoylstonStreetBoston,Massachusetts02215 ~piscopalGayCaucus JohnPreston,Co-Ordinator Box3592UpperNicolletStation Minneapolis,Minnesota55403 CommitteeofConcern(GayFriends) Rev.RonaldMattson,ExecutiveSecretary 3208PortlandAvenueSouth Minneapolis,Minnesota55407 UnitarianUniversalistGayCaucus Ms.SandySzelag5306SouthHydeParkBlvd. Chicago,Illinois60637
2
Rev.FrankRobertson AllSoul'sUnitarianChurch 16thandHarvard,N.W. Washington,D.C. UnitedChurchofChristGayCaucus Rev.WilliamR.Johnson,Co-Ordinator P.O.Box1250 SanFrancisco,Calif.94101 UnitedMethodistGayCaucus TroyStokes,Co-Ordinator 2355AustinHWy.#68SanAntonio,Texas78218 UnitedPresbyterianGayCaucus Rev.DavidB.Sindt,Co-Ordinator 2217NorthFremontStreet Chicago,Illinois60614 Preparedby: TheCouncilonReligionandtheHomosexual Suite421 83McAllister SanFrancisco,Calif.94102 Phone:(415)863-2295
szz:t.
I
 
Come
In
AndOutTheCloset
ISATONTHEBEDinmyroomhavingjust finishedreadingAManCalledPeter.Iwas sixteenandthebookspokeclearlytothe centralquestionIwasaskingthosedays, "WhatdoIwanttodowithmylife?"My Presbyterianfamilyandthechurchwe regularlyattendedhadtaughtmeaformula forfiguringoutGod'swillformylife. InthoserestlessdaysIhadbeentrying toapplythatformula,fullybelievingthat GodwouldspeakthroughtheprocessasI identifiedareasinwhichhehadgivenme skillsandinterests,andareasoflife inwhichtherewashumanneed. IbegantoprayasIsooftendidinthose days,andasIdidthevarioussettingsand relationshipsofmylifeflashedbeforeme. Thegreatestmomentsofjoywerethosein whichIworkedandstudiedwithsomeofthe otherkidsandadultsinmycongregation. Datingmysteadyboyfriend,goingtoball- gamesandsingingwithfriendsinthechorus werefun,butthemostmeaningfultimeswere thosewhenIworkedwithinner-citychildren inthesummerrecreationprogramortaught second-gradersonSundaymorningorledBible studyandworshipatdaycamp.Thatnightit allcametogether,andIknewthatGodwas "callingmetofull-timechurchwork."I gavethanksastherestlessnessgavewayto adeepcalmthatwascounterbalancedbythe energyandexcitementofmyclearcommitment. Itallseemedtosimplethen. Twentyyears,threedegrees,eightjobs, andthreeloverslater,Iamstilldoing "full-timechurchwork."Bymoststandards, Iamquitesuccessfulinmyprofession,and Ifinditextremelyexcitingandsatisfying. However,duringthepasttwoyearstherest- lessnesshasreturnedandIamagainlooking foranswerstothecentralquestion,"What shouldIdowithmylife?"Thequestionis promptedanewbymygrowingawarenessof myselfasalesbianandbytheincreased awarenessoftheoppressionofoursociety towardpersonswholovepersonsoftheir ownsex.Thesearchforclarityaboutmysexuality wasastruggle,andIfoundverylittlehelp fromthechurchasIpursuedthatsearch. However,Iwasabletomovetoaverypositive understandingofmyselfasaChristian,a woman,andalesbian.Iampleasedwiththe qualityoftherelationshipsIhavewith otherpeople,thefriendshipswithmenand womenandtheintimaterelationshipswith women.Iamstilllearningandgrowingin theserelationships,andIamquitecomfortable aboutthat.Therestlessnesscomesfrommy discomfortathavingtohidethedirectionof mysexualpreference.Theproblemsaremany, andmanyoftheproblemsaresubtle. Theimageofbeing"inthecloset"which gaypeopleusetodescribethehidingofour homosexuality,isoneIfindhelpful.The oppositeofbeingintheclosetis"coming out."Iseeseverallevelsofcomingoutthat areimportantforgayChristianswhovalue beingin(workingin)theinstitutional church.Eachlevelhasitsownassetsand liabilities. Thefirstlevelis"I'minthecloset, butevenIdon'tknowit."Ihavemetquite afewofthesepeopleinthechurch.Iwas theremyselfforashorttime.Peopleat thisleveldonotconsidersexualrelation- shipswithpersonsoftheirownsextobe anoptionforthem.Theirreligiousfaith andtheirsocietyreinforcethisassumption. Theythereforechooseoneoftwooptions. Somerelatetoandoftenmarrypersonsof theoppositesexandplaythesocially, religiouslyprescribedrolesofheterosexuals. Theyignoretheproblemspresentedbytheir pretend-life,ortheyareoverwhelmedby themandusesomeformofescapism,suchas overworkoralcoholism.Thechurchhas manyhelpfullittlequotestohelpthem carryofftheirgames:"mycrosstobear," "nomarriageisperfect,""moreblessedto give,""thespirituallifeiswhatreally counts,"etc.Otherpeopleatthislevelrejectboth heterosexualandhomosexualrelationships andaffirmcelibacy.InnowaydoIimply thatallormostcelibatepeopleare closetedhomosexuals.Theyarenot!But thosepersonswhodoprefertheirownsex butarenotawareofitareoftenpretty comfortablewiththeirchoiceofcelibacy. Itisameaningfulchoiceforalifeof givingtoothers.Theself-denialis relativelypainlessaslongasthereare causestogiveoneselftoandaslongas ahomosexualrelationshipisnotconsciously consideredanoption.Frequently,however, itbecomesincreasinglydifficulttoignore feelingsthatarearousedbyaclosefriend- shipwithapersonofthesamesex.As societybecomesmoretolerantofhomo- sexualityandasmoregaypeoplecomeout
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