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-PULING
en
 
PASSION
andthechurch
byCARTER
HEYVlARD
AnaddressdeliveredataNationalGayTaskForceforumonGays andtheReligiousCommunityinMarchinNewYork.
I'VEDONEAlotofthinkingaboutwhatitisIwanttosay.I'vethoughtaboutfeminism,homo-sexuality,lesbianism;abouthelp-ingbuildafoundationfor"Theologyofsexuality";about levellinganindictmentagainsttheChurchandtheJudaictra- dition,inwhichtheChurchis rooted,forwhatisatbestgross irresponsibilityindominantec- clesiasticalattitudestowardsex- uality,sex,andhomosexuuality.I'veattemtedtosiftthroughmyownreflectionsinorderto focuson,andsharewithyou,that whichisformemostbasictoa discusssionof"feminism,homo- sexuality,andthechurch"(the topicsuggestedtome). Iwanttospeakof
passion,
andofhowpassionis,historically, soterriblyfeared,yearnedfor, hated,andadmiredbytheeccles- iasticalauthorityoftheChurch. TheChurch,whichhasovertheyearscometomanifestitselfasa passionlessinstitution-abody withoutdepth;withoutintensity ofexperience,involvement,rel- ationship,life,anddeath;an institutionwithoutpassion.The Church,thatwhichhastradit- ionallyfeditselfonfearofpas- sion;thatwhichhasconsisteritly andpredictablydisclaimeditsown hiddenpassion;thatwhichhas locatedandsoughtoutitsown passionelsewhere,anddenounced
CarterHeywardwasamongthe irstelevenwomenordainedto thepriesthoodoftheEpiscopal ChurcninJuly,
1974.
Sheisa memberofthefacultyatEpisco- palDivinitySchool,Cambridge,
_lass.
_b
1'\UITY/May1976
"queers"withpassion,makingus scapegoats;virtuallythebearersof thepassionoftheChurch.Thishasbeenespeciallytrue,inrecent yearsaswellaslongago,of feministwomenandofself- acknowledged,self-celebrating homosexuals;thosewhoare"gay andproud."Passionisdeep-qualityliving- likedivinginandswimming insteadofwading.Passionisinor outofbed.It'sinhomosexuals, heterosexuals,andbisexuals.It's incelibatesandgenitallyactive womenandmen.Thatwewhoarefemale and/orgayhavecometosymbol- izepassionisinitsownwaya tributetous.Itis,infact,a tributethatmanyofusdonot merit,forthereareofcourse manywomen(gayandstraight) andmanygaymenwhoarenotpassionatepeople.Butinthemind oftheChurch-RomanCatholic,Protestant,Episcopal-weareviewedasthearchetypalcarrier ofpassion.Weareseencol- lectivelyasthecharacterfor whomEquusisGodandlover:
I
Theboywhorelatesorgiastically -withsweat,panting,screams, andsemen-tothecreated worldaroundhim.Weareblown upintochild-devouringmonster proportions:She/Hewholivesto lure,seduce,destroywhateveris pure,hencegood. Andallaroundus,thosewho fearpassioninthemselvesproject itontous-uswomenandgays, whoinmanycasesalsofear theone,orones,onwhomits passionhasbeenprojected.The Churchhas,historically,projected itspassiononto
women
and
I
homosexuals-equatingpassionwithsex,and"broads"andpassioninourselvesandhave nowheretoprojectit;sowe swallowit;andlikeallfearthatis swallowedwhole,itcontributesto ourpsychologicalindigestion, whichforwomenhasbeenclas- sicallylabeled"neuroticdepres- sion"andforgays"inversion." Andpeoplegawkatusandname usnamesnotofourchoosing- nameslike"chick"and"doll"and "broad"and"fag"and"femme" and"butch"and"queer."They nameusnamesforsolongthatwe begintoanswerwhenweare called,tojumpwhenthefinger snaps,believingthesenamestobe ourown. Wewomenandgayshave becomeaterrifying"other,"a passionate"notme"tomany practicingheterosexualmenandwomen;tomanyself-denying, self-denigratinggaypeoplewho cannotcelebratethemselvesbe- causetheyhavelearnedwellto despisethemselves;tomany peoplewrithinginthetension betweenactivegenitalsandceli- batespsyches;andconverselyto peoplecaughtinconflictbetween celibategenitalsandsexually activepsyches. ThePassionofJesus-aterm thathastraditionallymarkedthe periodoftimebetween,and including,theLastSupperandthe Crucifixion,wasexactlythat:A timeduringwhichJesusborethe passionofhistime,hisculture,his religiousheritage:Jesus,one throughwhosepassionhisfriends begantorecognizetheirown; Jesus,forwhombeinghuman involvedimmersioninchoicesof
TCC:2
 
reallifeandrealdeath;Jesus,the passionate-loverofbrothersand sistersmanofmanymoods, perso~forwhomallrelationships wasachallenge,henceathreat,to thosearoundhimwhowere willingtosettleforlessthan passion.lessthanlivinglifeand dyingdeath(andthetwodoand mustgotogether),lessthanbeing full,abundant,electricwithcon- templativeandrelationalenergy, lessthanbecomingimpassioned aboutmattersofjusticeanddignity.Jesus,thecompellingand terrifyingChrist,towhompeople areoftendrawnandfromwhom wesimultaneouslystepback. Becauseourgutsassureusthat peopleofpassionarepeoplewho areinthewordsofmydad,"just
askin,
foralickin'!"Passionis hardtotake,andsopassionate peoplegetclobbered.LikeJesus. Takingcuesfromtheculture crucifiedJesus,theChurch ionlesspeople- accurate
y.
peoplewhomust eirpassion-theirfull
caJ:JaC'ItH~
for.eanddeath-in beacceptableaspriests, ministers.moers,fathers,sons, ters,people.period-inthe ~.-.•.andinerestofsociety. eChurchhashailedthedispas- DateLogos,\\ordofthe atriarchalLordgoverningHis earthlylanor.whosest-erileand ratherpallidSonwasborn esslybyanuntouchedVirgin, atwhichisdivine.Thatwhich o-God-nottheOneinwhose earecreated;thatwhichis,for _."not-me"-hasbeen ed~Satanic,demonic,evil. .nate.Youmayrecallthat ChurchFathersbelievedthat woman.andsexwerevirtual- samepassionatepheno- n.Inotherwords,"evil," man'"sex,"and"passion" dierentnamesforthesame
GC
THEPASSIONOFJESUS...WASEXACTLYTHAT:ATIMEDURINGWHICHJESUSBORETHEPASSIONOFHISTIME...
experience-thesamedem<.m- againstwhichholymenbelieved theyhadtocontendf~>rhesakeofanantisepticGod,mwhose pureimagetheyweresaidtobeandwhoseFatherlyworktheystrovetodo-namely,theindict-mentandsalvationofpassionatesouls.Oursophisticationnot- withstanding,thingsaretodaynotallthatdifferent.Whatdoesthismeanforus, nowintheChurch?Itmeans,Ibeli~ve,thattheordinationofwomenandhomosexuals;theERA.equalpay,equalemploy-mentopportunity,andequalrightsforhomosexu~sandwo-men-withinandwithouttheChurch-areworthygoals.Italsomeansthatwhilethesegoalsfor.basicrights'aregoodones,itis imperativethatthoseofusinvolvedinthesestruggleskeepclearlyinmindthattheattain-mentofsuchgoals(insmallandlargeways;intheshort-and long-run)is,initself,notenough.Ordainingwomenisnotenough.Blessinggayrelationshipsisnot enough.Openhousingforhomo-sexualsandqualemploymentforwomenare,inthemselves,notenough.Forwomenpriestsandgayrelationshipshavebeen;every bitasdevoidofdepth,humor,pain,joy,fullnessoflifeand fullnessofdeath.Wewantmorethanthis. Whatwein'theChurchmustbeabout,Iamconvince~,isareturntoreligionofpaSSIOn:-a wayofbeinginwhicha~.ythmg lessthanspilling-overwiththeSpiritofGodisnotenough;spillingoverwithtendertoughnessinourdailyworkandplay,~Ith 'righteousandactiveindig~atIOnat injustice,withcarefulcarmgforothersandself,withcourageto
...JESUS,FORWHOMBEINGHUMANINVOLVEDIMMERSIONINCHOICESOFREALLIFEANDREALDEATH
standupandbecount~d-:-whe~it counts;spillingoverwithmtegntyinrelationship,withawaren~ss andspiritthatwereallycantunderstand.AsChrisWilliamsonsharesherpassion,"Fillingup.andspillingover"-withthe.passIO~ofJesus.ReligionofpaSSIOn.ThIS iswherewearegoing,Ihope,andIbelieve-withinorwithoutthereligiousinstitutitionswehave known.Ibringthistoacloseona ratherpersonalnote.Afairnumberofmyecclesiasticalbrothers"accuse"meofbeinga "radicalfeminist,"a"lesbian,"a "witch,"an"anarchist,"and sometimesa"revolutionary."Theseangrybrothersdonotrealizewhatcomplimentstheypayme!Theydonotrealize(nordotheycaretorealize)towhatalong,stronglineofpassionatewomentheyalludewhentheytoss
WHATWEINTHECHURCHMUSTBEABOUT,IAMCON·VINCED,ISARETURNTORELIGIONOFPASSION-AWAYOFBEINGINWHICHANYTHINGLESSTHANSPILLING·OVERWITHTHESPIRITOFGODISNOTENOUGH...
theseepithetsatmysistersandme.Theydonotknow(nordo theycaretoknow)thestrengthandsensitivityofwomenwhohavecaredmoreabouthonestythanseduction,andwhohaveknownthatlovewithoutjusticeis noloveatall.Thosewhocurseat usdonotsee(nordotheyopen theireyestosee)thecreativecaringofwomenwhohaveloved themselvesnotasshadowed, half-relfectionsofso-called"male egos"butasahumanbeing createdintheimageofGodof POWER,ofWHOLENESS,andof PASSION-HOLYGod.Themen whofearushavenotfelt(nor havetheydaredtofeel)thewise caringofwomenwholove womenandmennotassexobjects,butassisterandbrothers sojournersalongacommonway. Nothosewhocallmenames, thinkin'gtheydomeharm,donot
May1976/INUNITY17
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