Parshat Vayigash begins with Yosef and Yehuda nearing a showdown: Soon Yosef will reveal himself, and send for his father. Throughout the generations, scholars have been perturbed by Yosef\u2019s seeming callousness. Why did it take Yosef so long to orchestrate this reunion? One could argue that the primary victim of this delay was Ya'akov, whose final years were wasted in needless mourning. One might excuse Yosef's desire for vengeance against his brothers for their perfidy, but even this seems to be inconsistent with Yosef's reputation as a "Tzadik". Certainly, when vengeance impinges on Yosef's filial responsibilities and leaves Ya'akov mourning, and in hunger, when Yosef could easily solve both problems, any delay seems inexcusable.

In his commentary on the Torah, The Ramban poses this question, which, in a sense hovers over the last 3 parshiot: Why didn\u2019t Yosef try to contact his father? After all, the distance between Israel and Egypt is "6 days" (so says the Ramban). Why didn\u2019t Yosef send a letter to his father, informing him that he was alive and well? When Yosef became the head of Potifar`s household he should have had the ways and means to contact Ya'akov. Certainly, once he became the second most powerful man in Egypt he should have had all the connections necessary to send a message to his father. All those years of Ya\u2019akov languishing in Israel, mourning for his favorite son, could have been avoided. Didn\u2019t Yosef return his father\u2019s love? How could he leave his father for all those years?

The answer which the Ramban offers, is that Yosef could not contact Ya\u2019akov until Yosef`s dreams had come true. Ya'akov and his sons would come to Egypt and bow to Yosef; only then would the visions come true and Yosef would be vindicated.

Other commentaries have taken issue with this response. Dreams are in the domain of G-d, they say; let Him worry about dreams. It is man\u2019s job to do that which is ethical, and the ethical thing would have been to inform Ya'akov that he, Yosef, was indeed alive and well.

A contemporary commentator, Rabbi Yoel Bin Nun, has suggested that perhaps the question is unfair. Instead, we should ask the reverse question: Why did Ya'akov not contact Yosef? The answer seems straightforward; Ya\u2019akov thought that Yosef was dead. But did Yosef know that Ya'akov thought that he was dead? The sequence of events, from Yosef\u2019s perspective, may suggest a different conclusion. Ya'akov was surely aware of the enmity which existed between Yosef and his brothers. Why would Ya'akov send Yosef to his brothers? Was Ya'akov involved in the plot? Let us consider the family history: Whenever bothers do not get along the solution is to separate. One can see this from the behavior of Avraham and Lot; though they were not actually brothers, when they saw that

they could not co-exist, they separated. The same is true with Yishmael, and with Esav. Perhaps Yosef felt that because of all the dissension he stirred up in his father\u2019s house, Ya\u2019akov decided to send him away. Rabbi Bin Nun suggests that only upon hearing Yehuda quote his father Ya'akov and refer to his son Yosef"who

While this interpretation is certainly highly original, it lacks support in Chaz\u201dal; moreover, it paints Yosef as a maladjusted individual, who is highly insecure in his father\u2019s love. The sages teach us that one of the major functions of the entire book of Brieshit is "Maaseh avot Siman l\u2019banim": history repeats itself. The stories in the Torah create spiritual realities which will be repeated at other junctures in Jewish history. There must be deeper significance to these episodes than the insecurities of Yosef.

Had Yosef sent a message about everything which happened, his brothers would have scattered in every direction, because of the embarrassment. Therefore, Yosef worked slowly to bring them back, and therefore avoid embarrassing them. His intention was good ( Tosfot Hashalem)

According to Rabbi Shimshon, the dreams of Yosef\u2019s youth had nothing to do with his plan. Rather, he had a problem; how do you inform your father that you have had an extended stay in Egypt because your brothers sold you as a slave. This idea is further developed in the comments of Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch.

If I am not mistaken, Yosef`s consideration in not sending a letter to his father in his years of success, was, what would Ya'akov gain in getting one son back, if in the process he would lose 10... therefore Yosef used all the subterfuge, and in my mind this was certainly worthy of the wisdom of Yosef" (Rabbi Shimshon R. Hirsch 42:9)

According to this approach, Yosef`s consideration was completely selfless. To have been reunited with his father would clearly have been a great personal occasion, but it would have had tragic consequences. Therefore Yosef chose to remain on his own.

motivated by the desire to rehabilitate his brothers. Yosef orchestrated the series of events which brought Binyamin to Egypt and provided his brothers with the opportunity to defend Binyamin.

These last interpretations are not necessarily mutually exclusive; in both cases, Yosef`s goal is beyond the personal. Both also indicate the great spiritual level on which Yosef operated.

A close reading of the text on the one hand, and a survey of the midrashic and Kabalistic sources on the other, will foster a deeper understanding of Yosef, and will shed light on this issue.

This comment is not made in Yosef`s youth, or in the most logical context, the first time that the character is introduced in the text. Rather, this information is supplied much later, after Yosef has endured the ridicule of his brother\u2019s, sale and enslavement. The simple understanding is that this is merely an introduction to the scene with Potifar\u2019s wife, where for the first time Yosef`s physical appearance becomes relevant.

This would have been the first time that Yosef had the ability to contact his father, and here, in the same verse, the Torah chooses to speak of Yosef`s looks! Perhaps there is a deeper meaning to this section, and to Yosef`s beauty.

Yosef was handsome and of fine appearance. Rabbi Yitzchak said, throw a stick to the ground, and it will land near the place you found it. For it says "And Rachel was beautiful, and of fine appearance." Therefore ( the text says) Yosef was handsome. (Midrash Rabba 86)

Whenever Yosef would walk by Ya'akov, he would look at Yosef, and his (Ya'akov\u2019s) soul would be restored, as if he was looking at the mother of Yosef, for the beauty of Yosef was similar to the beauty of Rachel. (Zohar 216b)