Weekly WALKING DEAD CommentaryEpisode #314
” Aired on
March 17, 2013
. . . .aaah screw it, I’m writing what I want this week
Screw commentary, let’s speculate and get kinky! Writing this
as a service to my fellowWalking Dead fans, I have decided, in one lazy essay, to dump all our crazy sexual fantasiesthat may have arisen while we were watching TWD.
And don’t say you don’t think about this
stuff because you all do! To wit:1) Carl is subvertively nailing Beth
behind Herschel’s back
. You know those cowboy bootsthat Beth wears? Well, Carl's knocking them. The fact that Carl is 12 and Beth is 17 shouldnot impede your enjoyment of this fantasy at all. When Beth turns 18? Well I guess the
law will come and… wait a second there ain’t no law left!
2) Some of you have indicated that there just might be a little more to Michonne andAndrea's relationship than we can see at the surface! I mean, here's two hot chicks, alonetogether, under duress. What could be more natural to do than
each other? Now youknow why Michonne is so pissed off when Andrea starts doing it with the Governor.
two episodes left for them to engage in a hot-chick battle royale!
Heck, Woodbury’s already
got an arena
3) You think Merle lost his hand cutting it off on the roof in Atlanta? Nooooo! Heck, Merlequoted the Bible when he sat with Herschel. Thus he obviously had a super-deeprelationship with his right hand and that's why he had to cut it off, because it
him. Everyone who's read the Bible knows that.4) Rick's also obviously been humping Beth on the sly. But he doesn't want Carl to know,because, you know, he's done that whole three-way thing before with Lori and Shane andlook how that turned out. I predict drama ahead. Battle-royale 2? Arena?5) The Governor? I think he might have actually raped Maggie.
I mean we didn’t see did
we? Could this definitively lead to Glenn raping Andrea as payback? Take that in yourremaining eye Guv!6) I suspect that the Governor, Martinez, Shupert and the other Woodbury guy that nevertalks have all nailed (perhaps multiple times) Karen, or as we should call her, Hot Wall-Guarding Girl. If peace is made with Woodbury, HWGG will be a good ambassador and nailone or more of the Prison-
Crew. My money’s
on Rick.7) Michonne nailed Oscar during the 20 minute intermission they had between the hermit
bunker and invading Woodbury. That’s plenty of time. She was eyein him