• Embed Doc
  • Copy Link
  • Readcast
  • Collections
  • CommentGo Back
Download
 
How to shower like a Woman:
1. Take off the fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.2. Walk to the bathroom wearing your robe and with a towel on your head. If you happen to see your husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to the bathroom.3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out stomach so as tocomplain about how fat you're getting.4. Turn on hot water only. 5. Get in the shower-once you've found it throughall the steam.6. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, andpumice stone.7. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lemon shampoo with 83 addedvitamins.8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lemon conditionerenhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red andraw.10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has once again hasbeen EATING your Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you mustmake sure that all the conditioner has come off.13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be bothered.14. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get a rushof cold water.15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.
How to Shower Like a Man:
 
1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the underwear you've been walkingaround the house in all morning. Leave them on the floor.2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along the way,flash her.3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Pat your beer belly withaffection as if it was a Great Achievement. Suck in your gut to see if youhave pecs. (No.)4. Turn on the water.5. Check for pecs again. (Still No.)6. Get in the shower.7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse. 9. Spend 15 minuteswashing your crotch and surrounding area.10. Wash your butt.11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.13. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror, giggle.14. Pee.15. Rinse off and get out of the shower.16. Pick up the towel and sniff it. If it smells okay, go ahead and dry off withit. If it doesn't smell okay, holler to your wife to find you a clean one.17. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel, if you pass your wife, flash her.
"Lists for Men and Women"Women...
1. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house.2. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
of 00

Leave a Comment

You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...
You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...