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Wired for Success TV

Mastering the 7 Areas of Life

www.wiredforsuccess.tv Presented by
Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas

[Episode 3] The F word its Not a Dirty Word

The F word Its Not A Dirty Word [Episode 3] Wired For Success TV [0:00:20] Beryl: Welcome to another episode of http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv. I am Beryl Thomas and this is my colleague, Melanie Gabriel. Say hello, Melanie. Melanie: Hello everyone. Beryl: Here at Wired for Success, we aim to bring you some fresh thinking and new perspectives to help you master the seven areas of life. For more on what these areas are, just head over to our introductory blog at www.WiredforSuccess.TV. And you may be with us today on YouTube or listening by podcast or of course, watching on our site, wherever youre joining us from, wed like to give you a really warm welcome. We have great pleasure in bringing you another special guest today, Joanna McCormick. Hello, Jo. Joanna: Hi, Beryl. Beryl: And welcome. Joanna: Thank you. Beryl: Jo is here to share with us her thoughts and experiences on the subject of encouraging women to become more comfortable with their femininity. Jo describes her many roles as wife, mother, event manager, NLP trainer, and feminine energy coach. Im surprised you have time to be with us today, Jo. Go on. Joanna: I was going to say, well, even though Im at home and this is my feminine energy coach moment, I guess, the doorbell might ring and the dog might bark. Life still goes on and the mother and wife roles are always there in the background. So bear with me if that happens. Beryl: We will bear with you.
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Melanie: This is actually appropriate to the topic. Beryl: Yes, it is. Joanna: Exciting. Beryl: So, Jo is passionate about helping every woman realize that feminine is not a dirty word and vulnerability does not imply weakness, quite the opposite. But this sounds like a really good juicy topic, Jo. So lets just head in. I would like to start by asking you why women need to review their ideas about femininity. Joanna: I think we can see right now in society that there is a massive imbalance that even not just society, even the universe itself. The planet is definitely out of balance. And its all about energy balance because everything is energy. Everything just vibrates with the different energy and thats what create solid and thats what create things. So its all about getting that energy balance back. And I believe that once we as the main inhabitant of this planet that we have, once we regain our balance of energies then I think the earth will settle down as well. So, its almost like its mirroring whats going on with us. We are in financial crisis. The world is in turmoil. There are wars, theres this and the other. And oddly enough, if you look at the weather it seems to reflect it. Its weird but thats whats happening. So there are tsunamis when there arent normally. There are volcanoes erupting when they dont normally. Earth moving, all the things that are unusual are suddenly happening and I believe its because there is this imbalance of energy. So its almost like, I want to heal the world just by allowing women to rediscover their femininity. It sounds so simple but I believe that to be true. Beryl: And its interesting, isnt it that things have gone so far one way. When I think about my parents generation, women had a very different role but now, weve been led to believe that we can have it all and cram it all in and go out to work and sometimes what is a very masculine workplace and it feels like its coming to work a crescendo as youre saying and something

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needs to change. How did you come in to the story? Im interested in your what excited you about all of this? Joanna: I mean I think for me, it was the fact that I learned to be very masculine woman for most of my life. And thats because my father died when I was very young. My mom then stepped up into the masculine role. So she was at first, she was just a mom who was at home and taking care of us, the archetypal stay at home mom. She did everything for us and was amazing at it. And then my father died. And she didnt know how to drive a car and she didnt know how to balance the books and she didnt know any of that. Now, she was a very intelligent woman who went to university but chose to be with her children because thats what she wanted and thats what gave her fulfillment. And back then, we were lucky enough that we didnt need two parents to be at work every hour of the day in order to get enough money to actually live. So she stayed at home. When he died, I mean it rocked her universe completely. And I think she, at this point, was so scared to show any level of weakness that she protected herself from the outside world. So, she didnt ask for any help. She didnt there were so many places for her to go to, so many people who would have taken care of her and we had an amazing family, amazing friends but she chose to do it all alone. And because of that, she had to step into a masculine. Thats what masculine energy is. It allows you to be in control, to be focused and driven, to not allow anything to rock you. If we take the analogy that a woman is like a sea. Sometimes we can be calm and still and beautiful and sometimes we can be waves that are crashing. The men are the rocks. They just stand still no matter what. Theyre solid. And thats what she became. And because she was obviously my role model, I learned from her. And so, I became a very good man without even knowing it. That combined with schools that just at the time, the only important things were the academic qualifications you walked away with. So therefore, all emphasis was on getting your O levels or A levels and going to university and all of that thing. Well, thats one side of your brain. And thats the masculine side. Thats very, very male-dominated stuff. So that combined with my mom, I mean I grow up and I did brilliantly well at
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university and I went into career upon career, getting more and more focused into the masculine work, I ended up being a computer programmer. You cant really get more masculine when it comes to a job, 100% in your logical brain the whole day. And I kind of discovered that it wasnt fulfilling me. And I was 36 when that happened. I was 36 when I made that discovery. Beryl: What did you so, Im interested in that. What was that discovery? What was going on inside you? What were you feeling, Jo? Joanna: At the time, I was out living in Switzerland. Ive been head hunted to go out there because I was the best in my field. And I was homesick. And I was homesick for the connection and companionship of home. Does that make sense? Because my family werent here. My family moved away by that point. My mom now lives in Canada. So it wasnt family I was missing but it was home. It was this idea of being able to connect with everyone around me because the Swiss are very different. If you know anything about the Swiss, theyre very insular. Theyre almost xenophobic. They dont like outsiders at all. So Im there in a situation where people dont want to talk to you, dont want to communicate with you. And Im very gregarious and very talkative, as you can tell. So I found that really hard and I was there for two years. And by the end of that two years even though I had more money than sense, I absolutely didnt I knew something was missing and thats when I kind of fell upon a personal development program that changed my life. Thats when NLP came into it. And it wasnt until a little bit further on than that that actually when I was in all this NLP, finding out that we can make our own choices, that life doesnt have to be dictated from our past which was such a relief for me because I was looking at my past in a I seem to have the same boom and bust kind of scenario when I was going in relationships, in everything. And I was going, I dont want that for the rest of my life. And the fact that basically these people who I suddenly was trusting because they had all these knowledge said to me, It doesnt have to be like that anymore. You can choose your own future. And I was relieved.
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And then when I found out about masculine and feminine energy through the guys I was working within NLP, they brought some amazing speakers to teach us more. And this incredible couple, Tanya and Nicky, who dont really do relationship work anymore but at that time, that was their thing. They were doing relationship work. And I went to visit them in Austria and walked away going, I need to change my life because this is fulfillment and I need it in my life now. Beryl: So the relationship work, Im interested in that, so are you saying, Jo that this imbalance in you was affecting was affecting your relationships? This male and feminine Joanna: Oh, completely. Beryl: OK. Joanna: Yes. I mean I was either having extremely short-term relationship I was being an archetypal man in that I would find meaningless relationships and have very short-term relationships that were fulfilling in only one area of my life. And thats physical. That was it. And then and the times that I mean I was married and divorced by this point. And the reason I was married and divorced was because its interesting. When we first met, when were dating, women naturally go into feminine. We want to be taken care of at that point. Beryl: Yes. Joanna: There is something lovely about a man who chooses the restaurant and takes you there and does all the things for you. And instead of that feeling like youre being disempowered, suddenly, you feel like thats the way it should be. But when we then step into the relationship, its almost like, Well now, its real. Im going to take back control. Now, its real. Im going to be the one who makes the decisions. Now, its real. Im going to do all those things that I did before you came along but I kind of just pretended that I could give it up. But actually, I cant. Beryl: Thats so true. Joanna: And thats what I did.

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Beryl: Thats what you did. Joanna: Yeah, thats what I did. And I ruined what could have been a great marriage because of the fact that I didnt allow him to be a man. And if a man doesnt feel like a man, he needs to find it somewhere else. And men do it in all different ways. They might do it by going off to play golf on weekend or they might go down the pub with their friends or they might spend all their time on the computer or they might go and find a mistress. Its as simple as that because those things allow them to feel masculine again and in control. Being the one who is making the decisions and doing things. Beryl: Fascinating. Joanna: Oh yeah. So, I didnt allow him to do any of that and he found somebody else who did. And so, very, very quickly we went from seemingly being very happy to him choosing to leave me because he realized that he could get what he thought he was getting at the beginning and didnt continue and he knew he could get it from somebody else. So he went and did. I mean I was lucky, he didnt string out over years and years because some men do. Some men continue to have a relationship on the side or they continue to do this, going sex or whatever it is because of the fact that that makes him feel like a man and then they go back to their wife and just let her stamp all over him. Thats what I was doing. I dont do that in my marriage now. But also, its kind of a two-way straight in that firstly, I understand it a lot better and therefore, I know when I am going into that danger zone of taking back control. But my amazing husband who used to be so rightly so behind me earlier, Brandon, he doesnt let me. He kind of goes, You know, thats not acceptable to me. Thats my job. So leave it for me. And because he does that, I go, OK. Youre right. It is. Sorry. And it just it reminds me to stay in my feminine. Beryl: So its like you both read the script. You know. Joanna: Yeah.

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Beryl: Thats really helpful. Joanna: I was lucky. He already had it unpacked. When we first met, I was definitely still in my masculine phase and he was not attracted to me at all. It was almost like he didnt see me. This is a very interesting point actually. Its one I talk a lot with my women when they say to me, But there isnt any decent man out there. Theres no man I can trust. Theres no man who is going to take care of me like that. Theres no man who is going to treat me like a princess. And I go, Actually, there are but youre not seeing them because like a radio dial, youre not tuned into the right energy frequency. So instead of hearing them and seeing them all the time, youre actually ignoring them all the time. And similarly, theyre not seeing you on the right frequency. Its just about getting that energy right and then suddenly, theres an attraction. And it just was like that with Brandon and I. Three months from when I met him, three months later, he asked me out. And he asked me out by sweeping me off my feet. He literally said, Id like to take you to South Africa. That was the first thing. There wasnt a, Lets go for dinner and get to know each other. He was like we were talking about South Africa, I said I always wanted to go and he basically said, Let me take you there. And I went, OK. And then ran off to my girlfriend and went, I think he might like me. Beryl: Go Mel. Melanie: Joanna, are you saying that before you discovered your feminine self, had he made that suggestion, you would have had to what would you have what would have been your response previously? Joanna: Sorry? Well, I think his response when he first met me was, Thats a bull breaker. Thats the kind of woman who is so masculine. Why would I Im looking for someone to take care of. She clearly can do it all herself so she doesnt need me. Melanie: Right. So it would never have come up. OK. Joanna: Yeah, because actually, thats a really important thing for men. They want to feel needed. They need to feel needed. And when were so busy doing it all ourselves and being super women, oddly enough, theyre

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not attracted to that. They want us to be going, Actually, you know what? I cant do it myself. Can you help me? Will you please take care of me? And suddenly, its like they swell up and they go, Oh yeah, I can do that. Thank you very much. If you say just if you say to any man, I need your help. It changes their life because they hear you saying, I trust you as a man and therefore trust you to be able to help me. They cant hear what we say. They hear what their translation is. Melanie: So how difficult women who are effectively women and mens clothing, how difficult is it for them to let go of this? What is actually the mindset shift they need to just allow this to happen? Joanna: Its massive, Mel. It really is. But it can be done in an instant. Thats the weird thing. You need to just know that its possible for the man to be there, for that man to be there. And I think for me, I mean I got to a point in my life where I knew that if I didnt let go of all this stuff, I was never going to meet the man of my dreams and I was never going to have the family that I wanted. And there was something inside me that all my life has said, Youre going to be a mother. Youre going to at some point be a mother in your life. And it was almost the clock got so loud that I couldnt hear anything else. And it was you absolutely have to get this sorted now because if you dont get this sorted now, its going to be too late for you. And it was the pain thing of not being what I knew I was supposed to be on this planet, there was something inside me that went, You are supposed to be a mother. You are born so that you can continue the human race. Thats part of being here. And it was that driver for me that meant I literally came home from that relationship weekend in Austria. I cut all ties to the men in my life that were not serving me. And the universe, Im sure you will know, the universe loves a vacuum. And so, I created a massive vacuum in my life for the right man. I then did all the incantations and visualizations and all that around him and I did that until he walked through the door. I mean it was that simple but its such a hard mindset because the society is saying, as a woman, you should be able to do everything. Most women at some point in their life have been hurt by men. And so, their own defenses come up. Their own,
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OK, I want to take care of myself because I know that Im control and that means Im OK. Melanie: In fact, I was going to say Joanna: Because for women, our place needs the security. Sorry. Melanie: No, its OK. Youve just said what I was going to say because I was going to say that in the mind of some women, its a very high price to pay to allow a man to be a man. Joanna: Yes. Melanie: Yeah. Joanna: And thats why because in order to allow a man to be a man, we have to trust them with our highest need which is that of security. You give a woman any level of insecure I mean if you think about these two scenarios, a man finds you up and he says, Oh, should we go out tonight? And hes all dithery hes kind of dithery and going, Oh, we could go here. We could go there. What about this? What do you think? And da, da, da. And you dont youre not attracted to that energy. But a man who finds up and says to you, Can you put your best frock on. Be ready at half past 7. Im picking you up. Were going out. You dont go, Oh, dont you boss me around. Oh, bloody hell no. God, I cant stand people who do that. You actually go, Yeah, Brilliant. I love it. Thank you. I know what to do. I know when to be ready. I know the important information here. Best frock. Be ready at half past 7. I will be. And you are excited about it. And it gives you butterflies and it makes you like a little child again. And remember, being a child is not a bad thing. Its a wonderful thing. We should all be more child-like. Enjoy life. Its here to live. Its here to have fun with. Beryl: So femininity can be light. It can be fun. It can be yeah, I can see your reaction there. Joanna: Well, it is.

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Beryl: Yeah. Joanna: I mean it is. Beryl: It can be safe. I guess thats what Im trying to say really. It can be a safe place. Joanna: And for all those women out there who are going, There are no men in my life I can trust. I dont believe you because you will have male friends. You will have males in your family. There will be somebody that actually you trust who is a man. But because you dont think of them in a sexual way, you dont lump him in that category of relationship and blah, blah, blah. But once you get used to trusting a man, then the men who are worthy of trust will come. Melanie: So, in the working scenario and of course, how you do one thing is how you do everything, I expect in the working scenario, you wont necessarily get a woman saying to you, I dont trust men. They will be bent on trying to achieve success by the old methods theyve been brainwashed into. Now, how do you make the breakthrough there? Joanna: I think for most women, certainly the ones that I work with, the reason they come to me is because they realized they cant do it all themselves. And that is then when they need to trust on somebody else with it. When you see, especially with women in business, women in business who are busy doing everything in their business, theyre not working on their business. And thats because theyre terrified that if they ask somebody else to do that tiny little bit, they wont do it as well as, I can do it myself. So Im not going to give it away. Im going to do it which means Im going to do the accounting and Im going to do the marketing and Im going to do the admin and Im going to pick up the phone and Im going to do all my coaching and, and, and, and. We give ourselves this massive to-do list and then we beat ourselves up at the end of the day because we didnt get any done. And those women finally go, I cant carry on like this. And there are women who come to me and go, Apparently, you say can do it another way. And I go, Yeah, you can. Its much easier and it is a lovely way to do it but involves the T word
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and the T word for most women is the one that scares them the most. Trust. But we trust the universe every day. We trust the universe to still be supporting our life. Thats a big trust but we dont even think about it. We trust the water company to supply us with water. We trust there is trust going on at all times of your life. But when youre not looking for it and you dont recognize it, you can easily say, I just dont trust. Melanie: So I suppose borrowing some NLP terms, where you need to be going with these women is keeping them focus on what it is they really want to create because that is indeed what theyll start drawing to them. Joanna: Yes. Melanie: Rather than be focused on because if youre coming from a point of view of not trusting, by implication, youre dragging with you some negative expectations and of course, what you pay attention to is what youre going to draw into your environment. Joanna: Exactly that. I mean as we know with NLP that it is all about where youre putting your expectations, what youre expecting to happen is pretty much always what will going to happen. I have always been an absolutely fantastic manifestor but for a good well, a good portion of my life, I only manifested absolute rubbish because thats where all my focus went. I was just green [0:25:18] [Phonetic] at it. I could and part of that, I manifested the end of our relationship because for three days, well, things werent going well. All I could I think of was hes going to leave me. That was it. Three whole days, three whole days of energy going to hes going to leave me. And at the end third day Melanie: Not realizing you were creating it. Joanna: he said, Im going to leave. I went, I knew that was going to happen. I was right. Its almost like, Yeah, clever me, clever me. And Ive done it with exams. Ive done it with relationships. Ive done it with businesses. I did a business that I basically then went, Well, its not it will never actually work. Im going to try at this business but its never actually

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going to work. And Im going to do this but that will never work. And oddly enough, two years later, I had no business. But then NLP taught me that this was a good thing because it meant that actually I have great powers of manifestation. And since then, Ive been able to manifest some incredible things in my life and very quickly sometimes as well. Brendan was manifested in three months. We joke about the fact that if ever I kind of have that, Oh God! You drive me mad. He goes, Yeah, but you manifested me this way. Thanks. Melanie: So, the women that you actually worked with and coached, what kind of shifts have they been reporting to you in terms of just how theyve turned around generally? Because if youve coached them in terms of their work and being more feminine on the stage, theyre going to be noticing even more than that. So Im wondering in terms of work, what kind of results theyre telling you which far exceed what you both were working on? Joanna: Yeah. I think the one thing that is just is always I dont do relationship stuff because that isnt where I even though its still feminine energy things, my passion is for women on stage and helping women to discover their feminine stage. And all of them come back and go, My husband is loving you. My husband thinks you are the best thing since [0:27:54] [Indiscernible] because youre exactly right. Its important that what they do is obviously they live it. They dont just do this on stage. But they actually live this way of being. And so suddenly, their man is stepping up and their man is becoming more masculine. And when you have more masculine man around you, it makes it easy to be even more in your feminine. So, its kind of its a beautiful cycle that helps women be even more in their feminine because men are stepping up around them. They end up being more masculine around them. So suddenly, the men are feeling empowered again and they are feeling like they have a job to do. If you talk to men these days they say, Oh, I dont know how to please my woman because shes so busy doing it all herself. I cant do anything without her sucking at me going, What the hell do you think you do? You think I cant do it by myself? Of course, I can do it. Its like I want to take care of this woman. I want to love her and I want to show her how much she means to me but shes not allowing me to do that.
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And so suddenly, these women are letting go, trusting, and theyre doing some surrender and thats very good for the bedroom. And all those things thats true. And so suddenly, their relationship is blossoming but its a side effect. Melanie: Yeah. I tell you what is alarming about as you described this and youre so right. Were starting to take it for granted that we have to be like men and be seen to be independent and Im not knocking independence but it is in a distorted way. But the alarming this is that if we continue like this and dont own our femininity and mothers, and we have male children, well be rearing emasculated men of the future by being this way. Joanna: Yes, its very interesting because we have generally two role models as were growing up obviously and it should be a man and a woman in terms of the energy. And that doesnt mean that theres anything wrong with same sex relationships because my sister is gay and she and her partner or her wife now, are in such good compatibility that its like they each take a turn at being in the masculine energy. Because masculine is in us. Its not supposed to be never used. Im not saying, you sit around like some pampered princess doing absolutely nothing and just, Oh, look at me. Im so lovely la, la, la, la. That isnt being feminine either. There is a strength to us and there are times that we absolutely need to step into our masculine in order to get things done because women, were about the journey and were about getting to the destination. If we didnt ever used masculine, wed never actually get there. Wed just be too much enjoying whats going on around us. We dont actually get anything focused and done. So, there are absolutely times we need to use our masculine energy. And my sister and her partner wonderfully do this kind of when they need to, one of them steps into the masculine and gets it done and then it means that there is harmony. There is the attraction. There are all those things. Otherwise, they wouldnt [0:31:23] [Inaudible]. So anyway, back to when youre growing up, theres a masculine and feminine there should be masculine and feminine energy role model. Well, if youre mom is busy being masculine, guess what happens to your
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dad? When hes there, he has to be feminine. And as a man, exactly as youre saying, as a boy, you look up to your father as a way of leading you to be a man in the future and all that happens is they become a complete bloody wimps. And through no fault of anybodys because we do this by modeling. Its all about modeling. And thats actually what kind of I believe whats happened during the times when we decide, women went to work. And of course, thats a great thing. And of course, if thats peoples choices, its excellent. But we only have men in the roles to model. We didnt have feminine women in the roles to model so we modeled what was there. So in our jobs, we became masculine because thats the only role model around us. And then when we got used to it, the thing about being in masculine when youre in it, is it makes you feel very secure because its a masculine energy. So you go, Oh, I like this energy. This makes me feel secure. And then you take it home and you forget to leave it at the door and go, Actually, thats my work energy. I want to be a feminine wife, a feminine mother. You walk in the door going, Look at me, Im all driven and focused and Im being a man. You say a wrong word to me and Ill snap your head off. And all those kinds of things. And the guy goes, What the hell? Where do I fit in? And in order to not be at look ahead and be constantly, constantly battling because I youre both masculine then thats what happens. Its competition. Its like two stags rutting the whole time. Thats not a nice relationship to be in. So somebody has to come down. Somebody has to move towards feminine. And if the woman is a really strong woman, it will not going to be her so the guy does it. So I mean, a case in point, a very, very gorgeous friend of mine said to me when he met Brandon, he kind of took me aside and said, This is almost the first man in your life Ive ever met that I havent thought might be gay. Because all the others have no other choice. In order to be in a relationship with me, you have to be the feminine one because I certainly wasnt given that.

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So it is about that. Its about allowing men to reclaim, allowing them to step up and not feel like theyre going to be snapped out because theyve given up their seat on the train for a woman. Women these days, Oh no sir, Im fine. And stand up. What the hell? Im going to sit down. Thank you very much. Offer your seat, Im more than happy. Its fine. But its like somehow, I dont want to be seen to be weak. Its this vulnerability thing. Women one of our gorgeous energies in feminine is vulnerability. Vulnerability for most people, they absolutely see as you being weak. But that isnt what vulnerable means. It means being allowing, youre allowing other people in. Youre allowing other people to see the real you. Thats vulnerability. Thats not weakness. Thats incredibly strong. We know that when people tell the story, Oh my God! Andy Murray, bless him. Lovely guy clearly. When he was through to the finals, the interview with him, he was stony-faced. He was, oh yes, brilliant for everybody but there was no emotion. There was nothing. He wasnt showing anything. Then after he lost the finals at Wimbledon and he cried. Oh my God! What did we do? Do we all go, Oh, what a pathetic man! How completely weak and useless is he? No, all of us connected heart to heart with him. Hes showing his truth. Hes showing how vulnerable he was at that moment. And it was beautiful. And thats what true vulnerability is. No one is going to turn around and go, Oh my God! How pathetic are you? Theyre actually going, Thats beautiful. Youre sharing something thats innermost and truthful. And thats actually what we want. Beryl: So, this is amazing, Jo. What Im hearing is and its very emotional to listen to this, is lets come to your work for a moment. I mean youve touched on it. It just feels like youre spearheading this because I havent had a lot of people doing this kind of work. Youre really spearheading this. And as you said at the beginning of the interview, it seemed like its the right time. Energetically, its the right time. Joanna: Definitely. Beryl: So, can you just be a bit more specific about your work? You touched on working with women on the stage. Would you just like to expound on that?

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Joanna: Yeah. What I do is there are more and more women now who are following their passion and thats again, a very feminine thing to do is that instead of going to a normal, normal work, what we actually do is we follow our passion. So we might create a business of well, it cant be anything. It might be a business about beauty or nails or it might be about hair or it might be about energy. It might be about HR. I mean literally, anything, anything, anything, anything and everything that were passionate about. We will put so much energy in. And as you know, one of the best ways to reach a large audience is to be on the stage. Its to actually have an event or be on somebody else, at somebody elses event where youre on stage and then able to show your message with lots and lots of people. Now, I found over the years that most of the women who were on the stage at the moment and certainly when I started this which for me, I started noticing this probably five years ago, five or so years ago, was that most of the women on stage, as soon as they are on the stage, even if there are people on stage, would stand on stage and then take this masculine stance and go all authority and go all driven and kind of starey and scary on stage. Melanie: Why did they do that? Beryl: Weve seen some of those. Joanna: Exactly. And I went, Oh, why cant we be feminine on the stage? But one of the problems is that most of the teachers out there are teaching the speaker stance or teaching the way of getting into your energy and be in your passion. But its all very masculine-driven way of speaking. And there arent many women who are being coached around how to stay on your feminine on stage because youre not supposed to show weakness on stage, youre not supposed to I was going to say, you kind of do things on tap. There are moments that you are allowed to be emotional. Does that make sense? I dont mean its scripted as in you literally, right here you cry kind of thing. But at this point in the whole thing, youre allowed to be emotional. Beryl: OK.

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Joanna: But the rest of the time, youve got to be authority and youve got to be knowing your stuff and all that kind of stuff. And I just teach women how to let all that go and how to be a lot of more trusting and how to be open and vulnerable on stage pretty much the whole time so that you can connect with your audience because if you do a heart to heart connection and you yourself are connected to your souls which is your passion, the flow through is so powerful that the people you are connecting with really get your message. Now, if thats your aim which of course it is that we want people to get our message then its about standing on stage and allowing this flow to happen. And so, thats what I do. I take women who are going to an event and I coach them around how to get connected to their energy if theyve got I mean some of them are feminine already but some of them arent but how to also stay there. One of the things especially if its their event because one of the things about doing your own event is that theres lots of logistics. Logistics are very masculine, the making sure this is the right place at the right time and the AV is right and the hotel knows what to do, and people know where to go, and where the toilets are, and where to put their coats and its all very, very its just logistics. And logistics is not feminine. Its not at all feminine. Its easy to do and it can be done and it can be done in a masculine way to be efficient and get it done and out of the way but if youre a woman on stage and youre worrying about any of that stuff, youre not staying in your flow, youre not staying in your feminine. So I help women to let go of all that stuff, to outsource, to do a lot of asking for help. Its a very important thing to do. And to let go of the idea that, I have to be superwoman, and just start being a superwoman and allowing yourself to be truly feminine and truly in touch with your souls. And so, thats for stages. I do a kind of exercise through swinging the pendulum. So we do a bit of swinging the pendulum all the way through masculine and swinging all the way through 100% feminine so that you get to really feel what that energy is like so you can recognize it. So you know firstly where you settle because no one is a 100% feminine and no one is a 100% masculine but we should be as women settling somewhere on the feminine scale and men should be somewhere on the masculine scale. Its kind of that way.
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And so, when you just find out where you settle and what that feels like and how that feels energetically to you, you know you can stay there. You can recognize it and of course, most importantly, recognize when you move away from it. So when you go into fear, youre going to masculine because fearful women need that sense of security and thats where you go, you go and dip into your masculine to get it. So its about being fearful and then trusting that someone else will do it allows you to stay in your feminine. Beryl: And the women that you work with, what is the process? Do you start a little bit before? I imagine you start a little bit before the event. How does it quite work, Jo? Joanna: It depends on the woman Im working with. There is a set kind of way of doing it. I usually work with them for six months though. So youre right, always start before the event because obviously, the event is the culmination of that. But often its like four month before, two months after or sometimes its three months before, three months after. So that there is some follow through as well because its about the total package not just the event. So although the event is very important part of it, its not thats not the be all and end all. Its not once your event happened then youre done kind of thing. So we do, do some and some. And I start with working with them on their vision for the event. We do lots of meditations, lots of visualization. We do lots of the swing of the pendulum exercise and that can be anything from just a day in it or it can be a whole week. I can get you to just swing your pendulum for a whole week which is really quite fun and very interesting for those around you as they watch you do it. So all those kind of things are fun. And also, the actual planning so we get down to the nitty-gritty of where your event is at and how you want it to look in terms of the AV and how you want your people to be taken care of whilst youre there and all those kinds of things. So we do, do an event package if you like in terms of creating your amazing event. I dont do the marketing because thats not my side of things so you either do the marketing yourself or you get somebody else who is a marketing

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expert to do your marketing for you to get the people there. But Ill help you create the energy of the event. So when they walk in through the door, the energy that theyre feeling even before youre on stage is already your message. And I think thats a big difference with these days you go into conference, they do exactly the same except maybe there might be a banner thats different. But other than that, they all feel the same and then you walk in and then its only when somebody is on stage that you start connecting with that energy. But I think as soon as you walk through the door, thats where the energy should begin. Melanie: You would feel it. Beryl: Incredible. It feels like and I say it feels because it does really feel like this in me that when I listen to you, that working with you in that way would create a really lovely synergy that male-female balance where your mentee, your client, can be thought to be fully in their feminine because theyre allowing you and your business to support them, to do the male bit. Joanna: Exactly. Thats exactly it. So its quite interesting because of that fact that Im doing the male bit but Im still being feminine while Im doing it. But Im allowing its exactly that. Its about allowing and its about trusting. My stage, whats the word? I would say anonym but thats not the right word. Its an S-T-A-G-E thing. What does that mean? Im showing my ignorance. Never mind. Beryl: We dont know either so thats OK. Joanna: S for surrender, T is for trust, A is for allowing, G is for grace, and E is for energy. And thats your feminine stage and if you can just get into all of those things whilst youre on stage then actually, it all flows beautifully. Beryl: And people must feel fantastic on the stage. Joanna: Mnemonic [0:46:37] [Phonetic]. Beryl: Mnemonic, thats it, yeah. You must feel fantastic and really authentic. And actually, I would imagine thats going to the business side
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because thats what theyre there to do. I imagine that the universe would as come as the sales go somewhat better and some rapport-building I imagine would be going on with the audience. Joanna: Exactly. I mean because of the fact that when they first walk in through the door, the energy is already there. So theyre already connecting with the energy of your message. And then once youre on stage, your message is coming even stronger and because youre connecting to your souls and youre connecting heart to heart with them, it literally is a flow of consciousness, a flow of energy which means that they totally get your message. Now, if that means that it touches them, if its the right message for them, they are going to make a decision to buy. They are going to make a decision to step up and do more with you. Thats what its about. So ultimately, youre going to get more sales when youre being like this on stage. And even if the sale doesnt happen in the room because exactly like you said, the rapport and the connection is so much stronger than it would normally be, those people want to continue having a relationship with you. So it might be that they carry on dipping in and out of your website or it might be that they check your blogs or whatever it might be, but they stay in connection with you. And over time, we find that sales go up as well. So thats good. Beryl: You are in an incredible niche there, Jo. And Im fascinated to see where this might go with you. Well stay in touch of course. And its fascinating. If youve got any inkling of where this might go, any inking at all or are you just open to where ? Joanna: Yeah, exactly. I guess Im in the question as we say. So just happy for it to go wherever it needs to go. And Im doing a lot of trusting that the universe is providing me with the clients that I need to work with, clients are popping out that are quite, well, I think are quite big names in the industry or personal development and theyre coming to me and saying, Ive heard that you do this and Id like to work with you. So over the next couple of years, I guess Im going to be working with bigger and bigger names which is very exciting for me because I get to

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really discover the truth about femininity because I know that Ive only scratched the surface or at least it feels like that. I know so much but I also know theres such a depth to it that Im excited because I think every single feminine is different. I dont think anyone were all unique in our own femininity thats why I do the pendulum swing because it allows women to find their where their feminine lies rather than saying, In order to be feminine, this is what you have to do, because thats not the truth either. Its about discovering your femininity. Its where is it for you? How does it work for you? And the ease that flows when you are in your feminine truth is just so amazing. You know instantly when you hit it. You just know because suddenly instead of feeling like everything is hard work and youre striving and youre working all the time to get things done, suddenly, its flowing to you rather than you going out to find it. Beryl: I think Jo, with you, its a case of watch this space. Im kind of being fascinated at seeing where you go with this. And I do hope that youll come back and share more with us as all of this evolves, Jo. I really do because I know people are going to be fascinated. Joanna: I would love to, yeah. Im more than happy to. Beryl: Go on, Mel. Melanie: I just wanted to add, I suppose a final question in there because one thing I can certainly say about this conversation is it would have been a wakeup call for quite a number of listeners about how theyve been neglecting their feminine side. And bearing in mind the thrust of the show, we are about being wired for success and remembering that that wiring is there. It just needs to be recognized. What would be one first or small step that one could start taking to rebalance these energies? Joanna: I think certainly the first one that I did and certainly its the one that I kind of sometimes remember that Ive forgotten, if that makes sense and therefore go back to, is the idea of either meditation or incantation. It depends on the type of person. Some people like to meditate. They like to be still and allow things to kind of happen. And other people like to incant

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which is you create the vision that you want and then you just say it over and over again. For me, Im very much an incant person and I love walking the dog in the morning and then just saying my incantation over and over again, a couple of hundred times. And just allowing it to happen because the biggest thing around all of this visualization and incantation and knowing what you want, you have to be OK with not getting it. You have to be able to let go of the idea that thats the only possible outcome because thats the thing that the universe doesnt like. It doesnt like people who are holding on to their visions so tightly that theres no deviation possible. Melanie: No wiggle room. Joanna: Yeah, theres no wiggle room, exactly that. So its about I think for most of the people who are going to be watching this, men and women alike, are probably very much they know what they want in their life already. Theyve got to that stage where theyve got their vision. Theyve got their board on the wall or whatever it might be, their way of creating their reality. And for some people, its then they just keep holding it. Its like this is how its going to be if its not exactly like this. So its that letting it go that things flow. Beryl: I think we do ourselves a disservice, dont we if we think it can only come packaged in one way. Joanna: Exactly. Beryl: Its a very limiting tunnel vision kind of thing. And when we actually let go of that and for myself, when I thought there was only one way I could create a business, I close myself down to lots of other things. When I was really forced to wrench my head out of the sand, goodness me, theres a whole another world out there. Joanna: Yes, its exactly that. It is about just seeing, yeah. Sorry, Mel. Melanie: Yeah. No, no, no, no, its irrelevant. I was only going to comment on what Beryl was saying because having forced to head out of the sand, the thing we need to be aware of is that it can suddenly feel scary to have all this choice which is actually what you need.
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Beryl: Yeah. And actually, going back to your point, Jo, about Melanie: So, was there something Beryl: I was just going to say to Jo, when you were talking earlier about how women can start this process, the small step, what occurred to me was and whenever you create some kind of change of which you are frightened, you can go through a period, cant you that I would describe as very wobbly. But Ive learned that thats not the time to run back to where I was. Do you want to talk about a little bit about that? Its just like keep going and you get through it. Joanna: Yes. I mean I think for me, I call it my testing Beryl: What do you call it? Say it again? Your Joanna: My testing time. Its when the universe comes and prods in the center of your chest and goes, Yeah, but do you really want that? Do you really want that? And it gives you sometimes it can be just it gives you an overwhelm of other possibilities to choose from. Sometimes it can be that it makes it so hard to move forward that you think it cant possibly be the right way. But there is something about standing in your truth and going, But I know in my heart, this is what I need to be doing. I know in my heart, this is the right thing to be doing. And then the universe actually goes, All right then, Ill give you a hand rather than stand in your way. And suddenly, its like you have the wind at your back. And then you just get blown away. Its just that little bit of time where the universe is just going, But how serious are you? Do you really, really want to do this? And its prodding you in the middle of your chest and, Really? Are you sure? Are you sure? OK then. And then it gives you that lovely lift. And yeah, you just have to stand strong and thats a great time of trust because you just have to trust yourself which we havent touched upon that lovely little demon. We say that women are all these independent, Im going to be do everything. But its almost like we also dont trust ourselves to do it either. So yeah, it would be very interesting.

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Beryl: I feel already this surge of feminine energy thats going to be unstoppable tsunami of feminine energies emanating from what youre doing, Jo. Youre going to create this consciousness across the world. The world needs to be ready I think for something very exciting. Joanna: I mean I think this is definitely the age for it. You touched upon it earlier, the idea that everything is shifting and we know now that the way that the masculine way of doing business which has been to exchange money for nothing for a very long time. Its gone. Thats why the financial institutions have collapsed the way they have. So its very much now about the new age that Dalai Lama said himself that the world will be healed by the Western women. And this is what he means that the Western women will reconnect with their feminine and because of that, allow men to step up and be more masculine again. And because of that, we will rebalance the energies of the world. Thats what I truly think hes saying. Everyone kind of talks about it in business ways but I think he means heal the world. He means that the problems with whatever it might be, the global warming and all those things. And Im not saying for a second that it means we shouldnt care for our planet. But I think when were in our true energies, its part of what we do. Were going to exploit. Were not going to trust the planet anymore because of the fact that it isnt a truth for our true energy. So its like almost its as simple as lets all refined what our truthful energy is and suddenly, were going to heal the world. And I just think thats beautiful. Beryl: I heard something yesterday that in America, more people work for cooperatives now than they do for corporations. And that to me feels like cooperatives were a feminine energy as opposed to the masculine corporations. So its happening. Joanna: Thats right, it is. Beryl: Im mindful of your time, Jo. Weve had some fantastic extraordinary, inspiring information and just so all inspiring. So, we would

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like to give you a very big thank you. And would like to share with people how they can find you? How they can connect with you, Jo? Joanna: Yes. I am on and you asked me to prepare this and of course, I have. Im on Facebook and Im on Twitter. Both of them are McCormick and I think in both cases, Im a JJMcCormick but I might be a JoannaMcCormick so have a little look around. Ive got pictures. Youll find me. Im a true believer that youll find me if youre meant to. But yes, connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. Im much more exciting on Facebook because I do a lot more there. But now and again, I do tweet but its the old thing rather than lots. So Facebook is for me. Youre better off there. Beryl: OK. And wed like to encourage people to come back and comment on this episode. And there will be a little box underneath. And would you be kind enough to come back and take a look at those comments every now and then, Jo, and just share your thoughts? Joanna: Absolutely. Beryl: Fantastic. Joanna: Absolutely. More than happy. Beryl: Well, this has been wonderful. And Mel, is there anything that youd like to Melanie: Well, Id just like to reinforce Beryls comments that weve absolutely enjoyed this. We know our viewers will too. I mean I felt like we were making some kind of a heart connection so youre living what youre talking about. And of course, as Beryl said, it would be great for you to from time to time answer the viewers as were going to encourage them all to make comments on the episodes. If youre watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to share it with all of your friends. Were Wired for Success TV at Facebook and on Twitter. https://www.facebook.com/WiredForSuccesstv

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https://twitter.com/WiredSuccessTV Lastly, wherever youre listening to this episode from, if you havent done so already, please just shoot over to our main site http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv and join our newsletter for updates and content by adding your name and email. If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life. So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee Jo we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say good-bye.

Copyright: Wired For Success TV 2013 All rights reserved. No part of this transcript may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, unless full credit is given to wired for success TV and a link back to http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv is included in the use of the material. Disclaimer

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All the material contained in this transcript is provided for educational and informational purposes only. No responsibility can be taken for any results or outcomes resulting from the use of this material. Whilst every attempt has been made to provide information that is both accurate and effective, the authors do not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or use/misuse of this information.

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