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Anxious In Love

Anxious In Love

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Healthy relationships require trust, intimacy, effective communication, and understanding. However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships. No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave you feeling distanced from your partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome the anxiety-fueled reactions that keep you from achieving true closeness in your relationship.

Written by two experts on anxiety disorders, Anxious in Love offers easy-to-use techniques for calming anxieties and strengthening communication in your relationship. With this book, you will learn to stay centered when faced with conflict, understand your partner’s perspective, and become more independent. By changing the way you react to triggers and stress, you will be able to focus on enjoying time with the one you love, without anxiety getting in the way.
Healthy relationships require trust, intimacy, effective communication, and understanding. However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships. No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave you feeling distanced from your partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome the anxiety-fueled reactions that keep you from achieving true closeness in your relationship.

Written by two experts on anxiety disorders, Anxious in Love offers easy-to-use techniques for calming anxieties and strengthening communication in your relationship. With this book, you will learn to stay centered when faced with conflict, understand your partner’s perspective, and become more independent. By changing the way you react to triggers and stress, you will be able to focus on enjoying time with the one you love, without anxiety getting in the way.

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Published by: New Harbinger Publications on Mar 28, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information inregard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisheris not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional ser-vices. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent profes-sional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast BooksCopyright © 2012 by Carolyn Daitch and Lissah LorberbaumNew Harbinger Publications, Inc.5674 Shattuck AvenueOakland, CA 94609www.newharbinger.comCover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes;Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Edited by Nelda StreetAll Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Daitch, Carolyn.Anxious in love : how to manage your anxiety, reduce conflict, and reconnectwith your partner / Carolyn Daitch and Lissah Lorberbaum.p. cm.Includes bibliographical references.ISBN 978-1-60882-231-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-232-4 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-233-1 (epub)1. Anxiety. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Couples--Psychology. I. Lorberbaum,Lissah. II. Title.BF575.A6D32 2012152.4’6--dc232012024165Printed in the United States of America14 13 1210 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First printing
 
chapter 7
Moving towardHealthy Interdependence
As Anita walked back to her house from the mailbox, one envelopein particular caught her eye. It was addressed to her husband andcarried the return address of a medical lab. Immediately, Anita feltthe familiar sense of fear and anxiety begin to surge. The worriesthat used to be her constant companion cascaded:
Mike
 
didn’t tell me he’d had lab work. What is he hiding from me? What if he’s reallysick? What if he has cancer?
Recognizing that her anxiety was triggered, Anita reasonedwith herself as she headed straight to her home office for a brief time-out:
I
 
don’t have to get all bent out of shape over this. A lot of my fear just comes from my maximizing. I dont have any real evidence tobelieve that Mike’s seriously ill right now. I just know that he had sometests—that’s it. What I really need to do right now is calm down. After my time-out, I’ll figure out how to approach this with Mike. But I can’tdo anything until I get myself calm first.
By the time Anita finished her time-out, her anxiety level hadeased. Able to engage her rational forebrain, she remembered thatshe needed to wait to have the difficult conversation until she and

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