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Introduction to Myself

Introduction to Myself

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I have found a method in my madness, a reason in my will whether I own it or it owns me.
I have found a method in my madness, a reason in my will whether I own it or it owns me.

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Published by: David Arthur Walters on Apr 02, 2013
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04/02/2013

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M. Walter Dunne 1904
INTRODUCTION TO MYSELF
 BYDAVID ARTHUR WALTERSAn editor just rejected this brilliant essay of mine with this note: "What is yourpoint? There is no point here. Please do not submit any more articles to...." Itossed the essay in the trash, but then I recovered it, thinking it would be a greatIntroduction to Myself!
 
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I believe Life is beating around the bush for the truth while not really wanting tofind it. Life wants to have everything both ways, like option speculators who play"straddles" to make a profit whether the price of the underlying security rises orfalls. Prevarication is a good term for this strategic enterprise. Before proceedingwith the hunt, the bush man straddles (varicare) both sides of his adventure. Theprevaricator is "crooked" because he sets out to mislead his quarry into a trap.For example, an author might bait his hook with a little flashy food for thought inorder to capture the attention of his readers, rather than immediately get to thepoint. In fact, when my own subject is a romantic one, I prefer to use the allure of amysterious introduction instead of getting immediately to some carefully reasonedand probably spurious point. For the marvelous and mystic romantic self does nothave a point in time and space: its point is truly non-dimensional, leaving all otherpoints aside as dead ends for pinheaded existence. Thus a man must be mad to beromantic in this objective day and age.I have found, however, a method in my madness, a reason in my will whether Iown it or it owns me. That method might as well be called prevarication. But thetrap I set is not for you: it is for the killer I have noticed lurking in the shadows as Ibeat around the bush. Of course I would not mislead my dearest readers. I do notsuggest that you follow me into an ambush, but I do invite you to accompany meas I meander, because I feel we have something in common that we have almostforgotten. That something we have in common, the universal source of philosophy, isnecessarily vague and ambiguous. Please draw close so I can whisper in your ear. That something is a secret whose careful definition would spell our demise,especially now that sacred images are regularly desecrated in modern museums. Itis not for Nothing that this image must not be graven—it is for the something of our self-defense. That subject is the subject making this effort, which necessarilyimplicates you. Despite our differences and because of them, that subject is theglorious self.Wherefore I prevaricate, knowing that the inevitable objections to any statement Imake will serve to illustrate the magnificent plenitude of my subject. So there youhave it: I have alluded to the ambiguous self, and I have supposed that we havemutual identity in our apparent contradictions. But perhaps I am already losingyour attention. Maybe you feel an habitual urge to toss my abstract allusions asidein favor of the usual, objective article about things and events that can be moreeasily apprehended and therefore seem to be certain hence valuable. I urge you to
 
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ignore objective articles and to return to the subject. I would not destroy the factualworld—I am a rebel, not a revolutionary—yet I ask you for the benefit of yourdoubt, for you will not find what I have to say in the factual reports.No, essays such as this one are not published in popular journals today: thepublishers are preoccupied with mundane and prosaic things. Now that I come tothink of it, I believe retrieved this essay from the trash because I am verydisappointed with such junkyards. After all, the fetishism, the worship of thingsand the Thingie Itself has gone too far; the self is almost dead, all brain and nomind.Here is an example of the murderous trend: a man has just publicly stated thatanother man's professional opinion must be a lie because he used the personalpronoun "I" three times while rendering it!I beg your pardon, sir, but I must resist self-destruction to exist. I must resist thechorus chanting "Inevitable Global Progress to Self-annihilation!"Here is another example: a man has supposedly proven that there are no suchthings as ideas or minds to put them in, that people do not have "insides", and thatthose "subjectivists" who believe otherwise, namely romantic fools, present a clearand present danger to society, especially to innocent children. Surely this dogma is just as delusory as the theory that the world perceived and the selves perceiving itis a delusion. Both sides repudiate the personal self. I cannot sympathize with thatfatal mistake, although I do sympathize with everyone in several other respects.I recall Thomas Reid's remarks about how Descartes decided not to believe in hisown existence until he found some evidence proving it, and discovered that proof in the fact of his thinking. "A man that disbelieved his own existence, is surely asunfit to be reasoned with, as a man that believes he is made of glass," Reiddeclared. Consciousness may deceive a man who thinks he thinks, but someonewho disbelieves his own consciousness is to be pitied or laughed at. Moreover,"And is not every man, in his wits, as much determined to take his existence upontrust as his consciousness?" Philosophy as we know it will not cure a man whothinks someone or something else is thinking "his" thoughts. He is in dire need of some other course of therapy. Reid recommended "physic" and "good regimen".Likewise, I feel those with diminished selves today are many and they are nearlyinsane. Subjected to objective considerations rather than truly mastering them,there are so many impoverished selves in the consumptive throes of apparent

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