Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Part I
Chapter 1
“Hello?”
“Mama!”
“She has this midget turd of a friend who won’t leave the
there.”
lightbulb burned above him. He pulled the string that killed the
At the top of the basement staircase was the back door and
the couple’s coat rack. Roman placed the phone in its charger
stand on the nearby kitchen table, put his coat on and yelled,
“I’m going.” The door closed behind him before he could hear
Trisha’s father around his place. The old man lived in a ranch
Ward / Romans / 3
Parma, Ohio. The records on its exact location have been lost.
front door, his feet crunching along the gravel drive, he, when
his thumb and forefinger, noticed its chipped gold paint, and
door, threw his head back, widened his eyes, and lifted his
“Oh, ah, Roman, come in, come in. Would you like some
glanced around the room and sniffed the air, which smelled like
old paper. Soon the brewing coffee would mask the odor. The
green carpet was stained, stiff, and nearly worn through in many
Ward / Romans / 4
places. The couch he sat on, once white, was now yellow and
congested with the printed word that many areas were no longer
usable. The dining room table had not been seen in years. A
limited his movement and thus prevented him from accessing most
volumes, Carl would imagine the pleasures of books read long ago
leading Roman to believe that his hands were once fuller, that
out of the way? Where? Oh, just put them on the floor, señor,”
he said, his tiny hands lowering the tray upon the spot Roman
had cleared on the coffee table. Relieved of the tray, Carl sat
“It’s going. The hours are longer, I’m busier, and the pay
isn’t much more than my old job, but what are you going to do?”
his invention.
they finished their cups. Not yet ready to work, and in the
dreamy interlude mulling over his own troubles, Roman felt the
the lenses of his glasses, were opaque and distant in the unlit
unmanly to complain and that one must face his troubles alone;
understand, my man.”
“What’s her deal? How come she won’t ever leave my house?
He sucked his lower lip far into his mouth, as he always did
when thinking. This habit had caused two deep grooves to form
on the sides of his chin; the grooves met in his soul patch
chin. Some have been tempted into comparing Carl’s chin to that
“Ah, yes, I see, oui, I see indeed. She never will leave?”
“Never.”
felt eased though he hadn’t been the husband, the man, but had
passed his trouble onto someone less capable than he. Forty-six
years apart in age, the relationship between Carl and Trisha was
bonded her to Carl; Trisha never spent much time alone with him.
Even now she wouldn’t visit unless Roman accompanied her. When
do that for me. It’s just that it’s hard for me to say anything
because Cindy is always around the house when I’m there, you
adequate for the job: there was more paper to be tossed than
dumpster space. What remained was put into five trash bags.
hazardous items from his house. Though Carl was not looking
note on the counter from Trisha saying that she and Lumpy had
brow, and below it, her mewling mouth, needling Trisha, saying,
“Come on, Trish, so what if he’s a weirdo, you need to get out
gone.
herself?
Trisha and Lumpy came home after Roman had fallen asleep.
the couch.
use the bathroom or fill her glass. In the evening she began to
feel better and sensing his mood, made him dinner, which
actually didn’t taste bad--it usually did. While she washed the
dishes he stood behind her and fondled her, his chin on her left
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shoulder; she smiled and laughed, left the dishes, turned, and
kissed him hard. His erection pressed against her; grabbing it,
bound them was immediate and powerful. To him she was the most
nervous being, she was like a moth with a leg stuck in the
Trisha had never mentioned her. When fall came Roman got another
engineering.
“Sure.”
each other. Roman got the water and went back upstairs.
“Thanks.”
“Oh.”
“Did I?”
“Yeah.”
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anything.”
At work that day he closed the blinds to his office and had his
his morning fury he’d forgotten to bring his lunch bag to work.
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Ward / Romans / 14
sprawled out on the table. Leaving a book, her eyes met his
off-kilter happiness.
conviction.
When I saw it I called to tell you, but you already left the
office.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Roman, stop it. I’m your wife. You can tell me. Did
“No. She left a little bit ago. Why, what’s up, why do you
ask?”
you?”
“What happened?”
braces.
“Pardon?”
Ward / Romans / 16
“Cindy?”
“Oh, well, I would but, um, but I’ve already called the
somebody you tell them and they send you a preselected employee
in hiring.”
woman.
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Chapter 2
shaped her face. Often Cindy was wickedly happy. She cut a
literature, spent her free time, when not with Trisha, in coffee
vague acquaintances.
sat on and one quarter of her mocha drink left, she spoke to
only one I’ve read, actually, and that was a few years ago,”
said Natalia.
them, really. I’ve never really felt that much for And So We
Don’t Forget. The trick, though, is that even though the main
two different characters with the same name and different ages.
terms of space and time, with limited settings, how can you
second?”
“I don’t know”
“That’s fine.”
to fetch.
in the shop had the last name Novotny, even the humans. The
ferrets were given the surname Krasnik, after her first husband,
an incredible philanderer.
Ward / Romans / 21
“I’m sorry.”
“Grandma!”
“Cindy!”
“Whatever you are, I will not pay for you to not work.”
it waned.
“Okay, okay, you want job back, this what you do.”
not able to resist her. She had been married six times to seven
men. Her third husband(s), she had learned during the divorce,
made him carry the groceries (heavy on canned foods) home five
miles because he had insulted her cooking one damp evening (dry
would never again receive her cooking or her love. The task
fashion most of the other men in her life, and some of the
“To prove you good worker, you find job somewhere else and
hold it six month. Then Grandma think about taking you back.”
“But Grandma!”
Chapter 3
Though old, obese, and often alone, Carl was not entirely
invaded the same corner of the diner every morning at six, when
the doors were unlocked to start the day. Always Yours first
wood of its benches, into the spaces between the tables, into
the candy jar next to the register, into the coffee mugs stacked
each other: as Ralph strode towards Carl with his left foot,
Carl put forth his right; where Carl, his hands in his pockets,
had The Plain Dealer wedged in his left armpit, Ralph had his in
the two, always reached the front door before Carl. When Carl
Ward / Romans / 26
came within a few paces of Ralph the men would smile at each
other. Carl would then stop abruptly and throw his right
shoulder back and pivot on his left foot, the movement ending
with Carl clicking his heels together, facing the widows. Ralph
did the same, mirroring Carl, of course. The men then nodded
turn off the ignition. At this time rounding the sides of the
building from the parking lot in the back (to get street parking
you had to rise earlier, and twos move slower than ones) were
the couples: Joseph and Florence Dogger, John and Helen Fennel,
and Bill and Dolores Swanson. For some uncertain moments they
booth shooting out from this window sat John and Ralph across
from each other, whose combined heads retained, said with some
Ward / Romans / 27
set off a little from the rest, were silent Bill and Joe, who,
over coffee, read the papers passed to them by Ralph and Carl.
For the first hour of business Ms. Brick poured coffee and
no way around it, you just have to.’”...“But, you know, in that
a point.” “So you have a point, it’s just that your point
here buddy, I said I had it next.” The unit left around eleven.
no less than twenty miles per week. Carl, not into the physical
golf cart, golf being the only thing he did resembling physical
left for the park. Eleanor drove them in her svelte English
Ward / Romans / 29
car. Carl, at first unable to squeeze in, had to sit with the
embarrassment.
nervous he was.
They drove with the windows rolled down some and enjoyed
chérie,” every now and then though he knew little about bridge.
across the breast and new white tennis shoes. The only athletic
articles that Carl wore were his golf shoes, which were missing
niceties out to each other here and there; a few birds chirped.
They had to walk around many puddles, but were able to progress
(striding). The air was clearer than the purest music, said
ears from indecorous noise, he took yet another step into the
lumbered for a few steps, rapidly sucking his lower lip in and
absorbed his cries before they could reach her. He yelled until
Ward / Romans / 31
last broken sound that not even dogs could hear. In the woods
he would die alone like a holy hermit. When they found him only
amount of urine upon his trousers, more than the usual, creating
a stain running down his left leg that resembled a map of the
Florida Keys.
away.
Eleanor most likely still had her back turned to him--this would
the woods and hide; however, if he hesitated too long she would
wouldn’t their muddy waters splash upon his pants and obscure
execute his plan. Turning around, he saw that Eleanor indeed had
simply step into a puddle and quietly plash around in it, and
The black, icy water seeped through the holes--holes put there
shoes. Nervous, his heart beat fast, and his genitals pulled
down. The bottoms of his shoes barely rose above the water--the
highest he was able to lift them. The water wet his pants no
more noise, and she would turn around to see what was happening.
Things weren’t working out; time was being wasted and the
water in his hands and simply splashed it upon himself, and then
lost his balance while bending down and fell into the puddle
audible sound.
“Carl, my word!”
a log and “henh,” she’s airborne.) With her face she crashed
against a birch tree, opening a large gash under her right eye.
Chapter 4
drinking green tea. The darkish hairs on her fawn forearms rose
slightly as she took a sip; looking into the cup, she fixed her
eyes on the tea bag. Trisha closed the door behind her and
beige parka. She roughly tossed her backpack onto the kitchen
table, hung the parka on the coat rack, and then went upstairs
normal way.
sweat pants, and a yellow tee shirt, which accentuated her erect
nipples. Her frizzy hair was wet and combed back; her face
coughed. “I hate how dirty the snow is near the sidewalks,” she
no car) up, but rather had her walk to their house. Cindy knew
taken for granted. They had been friends for a long time.
sink. As she fixed her tea, Trisha looked out the window and
shimmering rainbow-like.
Trisha set her tea on the coffee table before her and sat
was wrong, flicked off the tube. Cindy made rapid, despairing
“She says I’m late all the time. I’m not, only once in a
while.”
“Don’t take it too hard, pup-pay bay bay. You know how
She can’t stay mad at you,” she said, working her fingers
friend’s oily scalp. With her other hand she rubbed Cindy’s
snugly friend infuse her porous being. The phone rang free of
than she, Roman would often say, “Trisha, the phone’s dead
How come you won’t put it on the charger stand? Come on, honey,
it’s not that hard.” Trisha, one with Cindy, ignored the
ringing.
mind Trisha as she first saw her: eyes wide; biting her lower
Trisha, for her part, did not ward off Cindy’s approaches; she
grade. Till then she had been all too timid, intelligent, and
parents had decided not to thrust her among the public until
throughout her life. They could have a time when their child
parents, and that way they would always live in her. Such was
Cindy was the only female child in her family. Along with
Guy, she had two other older brothers--they now lived far away
and were no longer in contact with the rest of the family. She
each one--a fusion that occurred deep within the primitive orbs
consciousness.
the softball team were lounging in their hotel room. Cindy had
sat on the corner of one of the room’s queen beds as they got
had emerged from their persons like ghosts and spoke to each
like this:
1 Cindy was the first girl in their class to shave--her face. Delia
Samuelson, by the way, was the first to shave her legs, and that’s a fact, so
whatever Leslie Rogers.
Ward / Romans / 40
times you’re uneasy with your tomboy vivacity and that through
dainty. Cindy, I need you as much as you need me: you attach
voluptuousness.
shuddering loins!
she had reached her adult height and weight. By not growing,
she shrank. Cindy, once the giant of her age, was now a puppy.
Chapter 5
itself upon her face. Yet one could not dispute that the shape
#
Ward / Romans / 43
different. For one thing, all the unmarried ones had children
and the married ones didn’t. Also, at any given time, either
drop out of school and remain a teller her whole working life,
pretty long ago but now done up like a plaster doll, sat across
saying what anyway? This caused her anxious fright until she
tone beneath the din of her coworkers. His voice allayed her
her seat she noticed that Cynthia and the biker she had brought
under and, at times, above the table. Seeing this she looked
groping, his mind upon her alone--a smile she took to mean that
character.
Ward / Romans / 45
decent sum for the branch Christmas parties. Roman was not
impression, and through his generosity was able, for the night
“Why won’t you eat? What, are you too good for this place or
hinder his chances with Sandra. Roman saw himself as a man with
weigh upon him. He could sip his tea and be happy with his
most got drunk. At the party’s end Roman was the only one
nice on you. It’s just perfect for your figure,” or some such,
after which Cynthia would never miss Roman’s eyes roving across
his money! And of the promotions that lie ahead for this
only Cynthia and her biker, Danielle and her guy, and Roman and
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lips away from the biker, a rope of saliva still hanging between
time to leave. Danielle and her guy gave Cynthia and the biker
accepted.
evening; the moon shone down on the car like a spotlight. They
had little left to say to each other. The radio played softly.
just roll down the window a teence, if you don’t mind.” The
after that they pulled into her driveway. Roman put the car in
park and gave her a queer smile. She brushed her hair behind
her ears and looked out of the window. “Sandra,” said Roman,
Ward / Romans / 49
talking to you tonight made me realize how nice you are. You’re
really nice. Do you think I’m nice too?” Roman patted her
so, unzipped her jacket. He then reached under her sweater and
black pants into her hairy vagina. She cleared her throat and
Chapter 6
room together. Roman sat in his empty house, doing nothing but
“How could you do this to me? How? After I moved here for
you? I’m your husband! You love your silly little bitch more
than me?”
life. You should be her friend too. I know you can get her
that job. You just don’t want to for some strange reason.”
Ward / Romans / 51
of hearing it forever. She whipped him with the flat iron; the
over onto his side. His everyman’s gut extended and sloped
off work. Trisha had already left the room, her bangs
call his mother, but the thought that he would think to do that
The next day at work Roman got a call from his district
manager. The news was bad: his branch would be losing fifteen
over when the branch was less busy. When she appeared at the
what she was saying, but noticing how, in the area beneath her
thin eyebrows and above her eyelids, arches of electric blue eye
“Here are those deposit leads you wanted,” she said with a
tremulous humanity that evening and the pity it may have roused
Ward / Romans / 53
in him. Strange: now the incident was distant and unreal. Her
something like this, not after what you tried to pull that
with worry. What had he done? Why did he do it? This angry
lady could ruin his career, his marriage. He didn’t know her.
to her shoes squeak against the rubber floor’s gray and blue
tiles, tiles that had little bumps on them for traction. Before
curled around the little bumps; the antiseptic white light that
Ward / Romans / 54
bore into them from the ceiling did nothing to cleanse their
After dismissing Sandra Roman left the bank claiming he’d be out
the rest of the day meeting with clients; his true destination
was home.
itched. His skin felt filthy and tingled slightly. His suit
month ago, and she comes out with this after she’s fired?
entered the bedroom. “Come here, Romie baby, hug me. You see,
you see; I’m still your Trish Trish; there’s no need for you to
Ward / Romans / 55
Chapter 7
brilliant idea. She said that they were having a party for
meeting for dinner, he should come over for that. (That way she
wouldn’t have to spend time alone with her father.) They would
have a good time and he’d finally get to see their house.
silver and blue beneath the full moon. All was still. Carl
haphazard one.
it. The car lurched into the driveway, striking a patch of ice
and then was sucked under the car as soon as it was seen, and
Part II
Chapter 1
done for him. It was an easy victory for Roman: Trisha would
causing her such conflicted and confused feelings that she could
Roman had advanced himself two positions at the bank and now
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some trouble getting out of bed. He rolled off of the bed and
onto the floor, landing silently on his hands and knees upon the
pink carpet like a fat cat; he then pulled himself up with the
into the bathroom. Five of six light bulbs (one was always out)
from his ribs. It was like a furry island in the milky sea of
was the area around and under it that ached. He then thought
that perhaps if he shaved the hair off of the mole he would see
the problem. He ran the razor over it until the blade was
dermatologist.
on his chin. The boy sat with his arms around himself and
rocked back and forth (the office was chilly), his protuberant
blue gravel for errant tubifex. The boy and Roman were called
Ward / Romans / 62
into the office at the same time. Roman let the weird boy go in
first.
queasy.
of a general.
his upper lip. He parted his heavily pomaded black hair down
the middle. His gray eyes could not help but express bored
raised his right index finger to the ceiling and left the room.
girth.
“I haven’t moved.”
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“Not you.”
“Who?”
“Damned homunculus!”
“What?”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
Ward / Romans / 65
homunculus, you see. This theory, as you may know, has been
enter the egg. Each sperm, in its turn, when united with the
you. Yet no one knows the exact number you’d have to lose until
more. This condition is rare, and of the few known cases, there
that.”
“Do they ever come back, you know, reenter their person?”
from his lab coat pocket--on his pursed lips. “No, not really.
this blabber: I’m sure you’re curious to see the damned thing.”
Hoffman lifted the punctured lid of the box. The thing jumped
out and landed on Roman’s lap. He flailed his arms and kicked
Ward / Romans / 67
sending it flying across the room. While brushing the mess off
Dr. Hoffman made his mouth a tiny “o.” “You just killed a
that’s all. You cannot refute that this is a part of you. Like
you find something out about yourself you hadn’t before known or
Roman, pale, his eyes set off to the side, his face
turned away from him and said, “It’s always astonished me how
with his thumb and forefinger. “Roman, wait in the room for a
Your behavior this afternoon was most disturbing. I’ll have the
tech bring that along. All right? Great. Well, then, good
day.” With that he grabbed the deceased with his thumb and
Later that day Roman told Trisha that a cyst had grown
because the cyst had fed it. The problem was minor, nearly
usual, and Dr. Hoffman was able to remove both mole and cyst in
aroused by Roman’s glum demeanor (his smile and eyes set off to
the side)--said that he had cancer and didn’t know how to tell
her. For months she accused him of lying about his cancer--he
Roman’s state of soul, for less than a year after the first
forty-five days. They came from the same spot on his ribs, but
this time they didn’t need the assistance of tongs. This was to
sleeping.
head open on the counter, put it in the garbage, and put the bag
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collection day.
into the house. She’d only dimly seen what it was. It was
cat must have jumped through the open window from the branch of
a nearby tree.
Chapter 2
like a chessboard. The houses are the dark squares, and the
house in Parma has ample front, back, and side yards. No doubt
trade, who some hundred years ago settled in Parma, for reasons
to your house would make you more likely to keep the house. In
this way the people would be bound to their land and ancestors,
by voting for the regulation, people voted for the idea. But
ice.
Trisha’s driveway.
driveway.
driveway.
7) Cindy bounces down the driveway with the car, her head
saying she hadn’t time with the errands she had to run to get
things ready for the party. Carl, perhaps, was more distraught,
and left a long scar down her face, only a couple of weeks
while.
nodded to this.
the wedding?”
nervously.
“Ah, well, ah” said Carl, sucking his lip in and looking
down, “I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am, ah, ah, if
can do.”
fingers tingle.
ah, can do, yes, for you, ah, I’m so sorry, but, ah, here’s my
handed her a scrap of paper on which he had written his name and
number. While the normal person may have taken this as a merely
it. She would call Carl, asking him to get her something,
saying that she was unable to do it herself because she was busy
somehow having found time to cook despite being busy with Cindy.
During these meals Grandma would further ensnare Carl in her web
resistance.
This did not go over well with the Always Yours crew, especially
disfigures ‘em, then leaves ‘em.” Carl now ate most of his
of, the group. “He’s abandoned us, after all these years,” they
never even met the lady. Has she cast some strange spell on
Months passed.
you old you should not be busy. Now is time to reflect.” She
Ward / Romans / 79
that her magical powers would bring Cindy back. Now she wasn’t
her: the sale of his house would infuse them with money.
said Grandma, who had been calling everybody “man” the past
television.
just brought him cookies. The other day she loaded him up with
Tupperwared meals for his home. Last week she had knitted him a
embraced him. This troubled Carl. Grandma did nice things for
“Ah, ah, ah, I think, ah well, let’s see,” said Carl, who
Grandma pecked Carl on the cheek and gave him a hug, her
she patted his rotund belly. Carl was in for hitherto unknown
many a member in her day. Not for nothing did six (seven) men
marry her and obey her commands. “Carl, you do not need house
sad memories. You must sell house, you must change your life!”
Ward / Romans / 81
“Ah, but, ah, you’ve never even been there, my dear,” said
Not that he opposed her in this case, it’s just that he had some
too much. She finally said it was her or the road. At first he
said her, but after a year cooped up he snuck out of the house
and never came back. He felt sorry for leaving Grandma like
the house, which was his, and furthermore, fully paid. Junior,
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his name the only one on the title, had died recently. His
heirs wished to sell the house. Grandma and Carl could not
Chapter 3
“What?”
when?”
Chapter 4
not to let his heft get the better of his feet he forgot his
left hand and flung his briefcase down the basement steps. The
cut his food into small identical pieces. He ate neither too
stabful of salad into his smile, a tomato wedge would fall from
Roman spent most of the day on the Internet reading about sports
manner. The very act of signing his name took on a new aspect
missing a single letter, on the correct line, had become for him
workday, and sometimes for the next one too, Roman and his
judgment. He never came. Waiting for him was like waiting for
stories of how it was just an ordinary day, just doing what they
do, then boom, Ray Bucalo. Roman would never forget the
shook his hand. Ray knew who he was! Roman surely was on his
“Bu-CA-lo.”
Ward / Romans / 89
“No, no, it’s ‘BU-calo’,” he said this time with the same
gesture.
“BU-calo.”
“Buca-LO.”
“BUCA-lo.”
“BUCA-lo?”
“No.”
head.”
“Pardon?”
“Yeah.”
backdoor. They were moving in. A few hours ago Grandma had
treacherous for him), did not yet know this. Angered by his
present.
forget me, please take what I’ve heated for you, do not forget
“What the hell, what the hell, what the hell!” screamed
Trisha.
“Ah, ah, oh, oh my, why, ah, Roman, yes, Roman, oh my,”
bag, there was a feisty cat in it. Pop, pop, pop, went Roman’s
Silence.
not even the narrator of this tale would say, even after being
Chapter 5
with them, it only took a few hours for Roman to see what a boon
pranks upon the Markovskys. Never could they find their keys,
Roman his wallet, Trisha her purse. Just to mention the more
common occurrences.
things that eat, homunculi grow, both tall and wide. The
largest homunculus on record was three feet tall and weighed one
hundred pounds. Its home being was Wesley Porter, not a big
old saw: all of our homunculi are different, and the way we
For when they were fat they devised their most novel schemes.
They shaved all the hair off one of their sisters. With
the hair and a cantaloupe skin, they fashioned a wig. They took
Carla from her crib, removed her clothes and the cap her parents
decked her bald head with, and fitted the wig to her head. The
breast-fed the impostor for three days. And the sordid part?
She knew from the beginning about the switcheroo: Carla had no
teeth, the homunculus did. She would be a bad mother for that
Cindy again restored the charm now vanished from her life.
way, given his mindstate at the time, couldn’t have noticed that
Now, there is no way you could have realized that the above
Roman came home, took his baby and gruesomely killed three
them.
clean?” Trisha asked one day. “But then Grandma could not cook
and clean,” said Grandma. For both activities she had passion
and talent. Grandma’s cooking and cleaning were the second and
appreciated. Most of the stuff she cooked came from boxes and
krenem. Never had Roman eaten so well since he lived with his
Ward / Romans / 96
and dishes in the sink, never vacuuming because she detested the
the most glaring one was that with Grandma came Carl. Finding
words to say to him made her tension mount till she felt like
the same tension. Things improved after the first few days,
however. Carl was often out running errands for Grandma, who
Chapter 6
appointment.”
“ ‘Yeah’, what?”
drunk.”
“Thirty-two. I just lost one the other day, but five are
dead, the one I killed in your office and four that I killed at
home.”
Ward / Romans / 98
without sleep.”
represent the next step beyond Homo sapiens. You may be capable
thing: you must bring one of your homunculi with you. All
The next day, Saturday, after working his way through some
building was made of maroon stone and glass. Its many windows
“But you hurt her. Trisha say you kill them and throw in
garbage!”
matter how nasty. She warned him that she would deprive him of
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his manhood if she felt any wrong had been done to her
homunculus.
secretary. Even more unsettling was the glint of what may have
Dr. Hoffman then snapped his fingers and two men in white
the stuff she wasn’t able to get rid of from her pet store in
“Ah, sure.”
trying to figure out why Dr. Hoffman was buttering him up, as he
homunculus?”
took his cell phone out of his pocket. It had been vibrating.
shall put your drink on this coaster.” Dr. Hoffman put the
Ward / Romans / 102
drink down and sat across from Roman in a big black leather
chair, one of its arms almost touching the glass of the floor-
to-ceiling windows.
“Thanks.”
Dr. Hoffman settled in his chair and crossed his legs. The
men silently raised their glasses and then sipped their drinks.
Hospital?”
“You do?”
assertion, one that surely must have taken you by surprise. Let
me tell you about myself. I hail from New York City. Certainly
character, but of the body. And more than that the deformed
sheiks having their procedures done here and all the rest.
Obviously, I’m a very private man. I stay away from the media,
as candid with me as I was with you. And trust me, it’s not easy
lips, found that he had downed the whole whiskey during Dr.
giving Roman his drink, but before he sat down again, Dr.
said to himself.
“Nothing.”
“How come it’s not moving about; what did you guys do to
it?”
from his coat, “do the twenty-seven living homunculi look like
people you know? Is each one different? Are some the same? I
“Ah, that one over there and the first one are the only two
kinds. The one on the table is the only one of its kind.”
you. But I have a hunch they may resemble people you know, or
“Well, the one you pulled from me, her name was Cindy
She’s dead. She was my wife’s best friend. She spent a lot of
“To tell you the truth, she annoyed me. I felt she was
our house and me and Trish never had any time to be alone
together.”
Cindy?”
“Did you have any sexual fantasies involving her? Such as,
“Petting then?”
“Yeah, some.”
somebody she didn’t know so well. And the whole work thing and
affection.”
Ward / Romans / 108
“But obviously you do, if that was the real reason for your
infidelity.”
“We can get back to that later. How’d it end with Sandra?”
fired?”
this time?”
of our lives.
“In a way.”
“Not yours?”
Ward / Romans / 109
“What the fuck!” Roman stood from his chair and quickly
sat back down. Alcohol was no good for a man already unbalanced
accident, on my birthday.”
“Cindy.”
Billy Wiltshire (whose forearm hair was the blackest black, but
whose forearm flesh was the whitest white) who took the cage to
a quick test, and then you can leave. Thanks a lot for coming
wrist and led him to the other room, the bedroom. He closed the
before her was an elegant tea set made of baby blue porcelain.
from the bottom of the cup and squeezed it, expressing the
remaining tea into the hollows of her long fingernails. She let
this drip back into the cup. She put the cup on the table. She
leaned back into the red leather and cast glances around the
dark room. She dug her back deep into the cool leather and slid
creak, a sound that apparently gratified her. She was like some
cat with its scratching post. Her feet were now up on the
coffee table, her hands rested on her stomach, and her hair was
in her face. She brushed it away. Her eyes were large robin’s
her glance. Her hair, cut in a jagged style, hovered around her
shoulders. Her skin was the color of the sun. This is to say
was small where she needed to be, large where necessary, and
hard and soft in all the correct places. In other words she had
a tight twat, big boobs, hard elbows and knee caps, and soft
lips, oral and vaginal. All this from what Roman could see and
imagine.
to her.
When he drew near the couch she stood. She was taller than
he was.
took it.
literature.”
recognition.”
down. Roman released her hand. “Roman, please sit down, and
Ward / Romans / 112
As she leaned over the coffee table to pour some hot water
into his teacup, Roman could see the milky perfection of her
left breast, and its cherry, exposed through the opening of her
rather exquisite silk robe, the fabric dark blue with pink
flowers on the outside and all pink on the inside. After fixing
the tea, she sat down on the couch end opposite Roman.
She swung her hips and put her feet on the couch cushion that
separated her from Roman. She opened her knees. Roman’s penis
your hard cock? Please...please let me. I need it.” She slid
were naked. Dr. Estella blew Roman for some moments, vigorously
working her tongue over his cock, especially the tip. She
stopped, her upper lip still touching his cock. He could feel
whispered.
without tongue, the index and ring fingers of his right hand on
Abruptly she shoved him toward the bed; he fell back, his head
wriggling his ass over the edge of the bed to keep himself from
ones. She worked her hand between his legs and played with his
Ward / Romans / 114
balls. She then stroked his cock and brushed her wet pussy
bad?”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“I’ll fuck your brains out, whenever you like, if you fuck
“What?”
“I can’t do that.”
Roman, I want you so bad, you make me so fucking hot, but I need
you to fuck the homunculus before you can fuck me. Fuck it.
from the shaft. I need you inside me, only you can satisfy me.
full few of her luscious torso. She reached over to the cage,
undid its lock, and opened its door. She withdrew the
relent. Dr. Estella, sensing her victory, took his whole cock
in. Before he could come, she swung off of it. He was almost
the homunculus rolled about with its eyes closed, smiling, its
society, since they can get their jollies from their homunculi;
different genetic makeup than you do. Perhaps they are some
from your cells’ cytoplasm. So, you see, you get the benefits
if you can get these things preggers, Roman. Dr. Hoffman knew
screwy. So, you see, that’s where I come in. Trust me, if it
Ward / Romans / 117
wasn’t for your homunculi you’d never fuck somebody like me.
You know that. This is a fair tradeoff. You get my body for
the course of the study, and you also get to advance scientific
When Roman left the room he saw Dr. Hoffman smoking a cigar
speak, but he felt lightheaded, and all the light in the room
fell a huge throbbing shook the entirety of his being and his
strings.
Dr. Estella is very passionate about her work, as you now well
know.”
man. You can have anything you like. I’ll have it brought up
immediately.”
on a footstool and fell down, taking a lamp with him. The fall
and flung its doors almost off their hinges, and in ten minutes
Chapter 7
Carl had not been to Always Yours for two months. After
upon him to visit Always Yours) they sought him at his house one
held a baby in her arms. She gazed upon the elderly horde with
mother’s worry.
choice, given that her feelings for Carl, while never verbally
“Oh?”
“This is Josh.”
“Who’s Carl?”
“Your father.”
Carl’s old house, set back in the woods, could not be seen
from the street. None of the Always Yours crowd had reason to
Ward / Romans / 121
visit him there. Carl had moved out and others had moved in
familiar surroundings.
without Beatrice. He’s a man that needs a woman, the poor thing
there was something in the paper about it not too long ago.
can’t find it, I’ll go to the library to get the story. That
the library; they laughed not only at her saucy reputation, but
returned five minutes later. “Well, I found the pet shop all
sadly.
Grandma when she lost her home, moved in with his only friend,
attendance there) and the guitarist (stage name Pete Wicked Man,
by the name, their noise was bad for the brain. Together the
long time.”
“Do you happen to know where she’s at, son?” John asked.
inflamed, itching her madly. Penelope and Susan went out after
her.
Guy.
“Uh,” said Guy. “Like, I know where it’s at and all, but I
driving there I could tell you. I’ve only been there once, with
having the whole first page to itself. After finding the name,
she pulled out her phonebook. The Cleveland White Pages lists
vehicles.
Ward / Romans / 125
Part III
Chapter 1
from a cup of coffee he was fixing for Grandma, who, with the
creature neither more nor less than human. Carl was often away
Ward / Romans / 126
Berlin, Ohio. It was once common for farm boys to get jobs as
counted, drove truck, as they say in the business, since the pay
Carl in the clay of her daughter’s young mind. Mrs. Odter, one
holding her hand tightly as the two walked home from the bus
stop one October day. “Carl is unlike any man there is, dear.
You must never bother him. It is not right for you to speak to
him. You are to be seen, not heard. How many times must I
repeat this! Trisha, you never seem to learn. Why, just this
Ward / Romans / 127
morning I saw you walk past his bedroom door. You know that is
not permitted. Why do you try to hurt Carl and your mother?”
was buried with Beatrice. Her lover was himself married, and
concealed her pregnancy for as long as she could from the man,
intending to lure him away from his marriage; she failed but was
Beatrice until her love waned for the man and she resigned
herself to Carl, the old fart she married for his savings and
of. If not for the hush money paid to the writer of this tale,
Chapter 2
coldly eyed the Always Yours team as they exited their autos.
red, but her voice restrained, “I’m Carl’s friend, Eleanor,” she
him.”
voice rising.
Ward / Romans / 130
“No!”
“Yes!”
unseen, sprang from under her dress and seized Eleanor by the
“Let us see Carl, ya nut. And who the hell are those naked
white teeth.
off. Trisha and Carl stepped outside to see what the furor was
“Carl, who are these people? Grandma does not know them.
“Ah yes, do come in, I’ll make some coffee, I’ll make it
The group followed Trisha and Carl in, Guy trailing behind.
From Guy Grandma gleaned the skinny on the Always Yours crowd.
Angry and sullen because Ralph had batted him in the face
Chapter 3
in with extra chairs, then went to get the coffee. Before she
left the room she asked if she could take anybody’s jacket; all
job out there. She’s got you thinking screwy. It’s all wrong
and you know it. That’s why you didn’t tell us about it. We’re
Carl’s friends fixed their eyes upon him. They waited for
He felt naked and accused. They had charged him guilty of bad
Ward / Romans / 133
good reason. But that was just the appearance of the matter,
they could perhaps forgive him. His outer man was not in
agreement with his inner man. If his inner man held sway he
self, and there is only one shameful self, the so-called inner
Trisha came back with the coffee, relieving the tension for
a moment. After serving the guests she left the room. A room
full of old people. The aged look simian. With the years they
lose their human luster, exposing the frail monkey that was
leaned away, back into the couch. Susan McCarthy sat next to
him; their bodies did not touch. Her short white hair asserted
triangles. She was thin and veiny, her skin healthily roseate.
her age, why not? In the loveseat sat Penelope Knapp. Her
She wore lipstick and blush. Her eyelids were a shade more
pallid than the rest of her face. She blinked often. Sharing
the loveseat was Eleanor, who looked away and put her hand to
her scar. “Carl,” said Eleanor weakly, pronouncing only the “c”
in his name, the rest breathily tapering off. Head down, she
looked at either her hands or the floor. “Ah, yes, yes, yes,”
Carl muttered into his lap. The meeting limped on this way for
Yours on the weekends; the horde took this as the first step
toward getting Carl back full-time. They had won their first
battle against Grandma. The war, they knew, would be much more
Ward / Romans / 135
Chapter 4
shuffling file, Roman, returning from the diner, exited his car,
waiting for them in the tree lawn with his signature smile,
noticing it, he had pounced upon a homunculus that had ran out
put his savage teeth to its neck and shredded up its jugular
the noises that carried over from the tree lawn. She rushed
Roman swatted her off and stood up, his face and shirt covered
broke her nose. She sunk to the ground half conscious, holding
her nose with two cupped hands, blood oozing out between her
chewed. One could hear his teeth grind bones to bits. Inside of
Somebody’s taken her!” She screamed this over and over, louder
Chapter 5
Carla was hidden within her jogging jacket. She put the baby in
the back seat, rolled down the windows a bit, and then joined
going to use the bathroom, had passed the baby’s playpen, which
was kept in the dining room. Three homunculi were in there with
her; one had a dust bunny attached to its pubic hair. The
jumped on top of her and shoved their fingers into her mouth,
helmets and tossed them out of the pen. Mildly injured, the
to save the baby from this nuthouse. When exiting the front
Ward / Romans / 139
door with the group Eleanor made as if she had forgotten her
this ruse. As Trisha and Carl saw the guests out, Eleanor went
out the back door with the baby at the perfect time, as Grandma
was already rushing towards Roman, while Guy, not yet noticing
garage loft.
wasn’t.
silent creature, one could hear the unnatural strain raising her
or that corner, not saying anything unless spoken to, and then
she didn’t look so strange and horrible at the moment, one would
unraveled completely.
there.
car!”
Ward / Romans / 141
Chapter 6
officer came and removed him from the cell. “Why am I here?”
called and somebody was led to a desk. Eventually Roman had his
with his charges on it: second degree murder, one count, and
crimes don’t have the same emotional texture for the perpetrator
other representations.
Then he was put into another cell. With him was a short,
(drugs) who slept, except for one tense moment, the whole time
Roman was there. As the hours passed, Roman became lucid, and
From what he gathered from the kid, he’d have to wait three
county jail.
made everybody move to the back of the cell and face away from
took a step back. “This guy,” the same man said, “is a fuckin’
trying hard to remove the weird smile that was always on his
Ward / Romans / 143
face without success. He walked until his back was against the
cell door.
Roman looked to the kid, who looked away from him. Thug Life
displaying gold teeth that said, KILLAH. Roman had never been in
They were caked with dry blood. His bloody clothes and that
weird smile on his face, plus the fact that he had an erection
resumed his former spot on the bench and fell asleep. A few
minutes later the last thread of tension slackened and the rest
Roman from the cell. Roman was being released. He filled out
cold and dark. There was a car parked near a dumpster. Its
lights of the city glowed in the North. The gray leather of the
baby powder, and cologne transfused the car via the heated air--
brushed his mustache with his right thumb and index finger.
child. All the witnesses, thank God, were able to get the dead
charges have been dropped. That’s why you’re here. The mayor
observation. That being said, I’m exhausted, and you must feel
his chin out). Roman said this to lighten his heavy feeling.
Ward / Romans / 145
Hoffman, as was his wont when out of the office, had donned
his stovepipe hat. He did not dignify these words with a reply
elevator climbed the tower. Dr. Hoffman put Roman in the lavish
this fact) and enjoying the hotel feel of the room, Roman rolled
receipt (from the diner), and cell phone, deposited the items on
Chapter 7
After the fatal, gory melee, after the cops and ambulance
had left, after the horde had dispersed, Grandma, Carl, Trisha,
Carla, and the homunculi remained. Those inside the house that
as they fought to keep their minds at peace, and again the cycle
anew.
cycled into calm. It was around eight p.m. Trisha had put Carla
Ward / Romans / 147
The scream had come from the upstairs bathroom. The door
was open. Grandma stood before the mirror with brown roots
volume.
her. They put their arms around her. “He hit. He hit,” she said
restraint.
Ward / Romans / 148
Chapter 8
Between each word he licked his swollen, purple lips. That his
Trisha; charges were not pressed against her; nor were they
could do to prevent Carl from coming under their sway during the
the mutual hostility between her and the crew wouldn’t allow.
assert order. Trisha and Carla had gone to visit Roman. Even
the fat ass had absconded, off to poke smot (as one of Guy’s tee
stomach had been empty for a long time. It felt good, the
windows. The hallways were empty; down them time stretched out
she had her humane side, evidenced by her weakness for small,
vulnerable animals.
home. Roman was at work, and Grandma had gone with Carl to the
full-time job with all the hours you put in at doctor’s offices,
time.
hour.
The boxes and cans in the cupboard had unpronounceable names and
There was some ground beef in the fridge and buns in the
hamburgers.
upon the table by the door. She moved behind Trisha and grabbed
cooking is done.”
very much so), for she was tremulous, small, and helpless.
were attached to thin metal wires, with the flags occupying the
tops of the wires and thick round magnets at their bottoms. The
party said little. Though none mentioned it, and though it may
Ward / Romans / 152
with any party, there was a guest who arrived first and one who
arrived last. Let us tell you a bit about the last to arrive.
balls snuggled round the feet of its front legs. You would
obviated the need for tennis balls. What you don’t know is that
paranoia going around and that’s way off base, since there’s an
tusk-like canes.
because he felt God in the world. He felt that God and the
World that Loved him. He actually felt this Love in the way we
with such joy he thought it might burst from his body. Some
eaten the most. To make sure of this, he never strayed far from
baguettes and the curring and eventually piled it into his mouth
two hands at a time, breathing out of his nose only, his dove
sounds replaced by a percussive rit raw rit raw rit! Rit raw rit
raw rit! Rit raw rit raw rit! Black tentacles oozed out of the
by the diocese and God the Father (the Son and the Holy Spirit
mind, if not his belly? And that was the thing. He never felt
sinkhole under her face that sucked her eyes and nose together--
waited for him in a white and teal conversion van, its muffler
street, and closed her eyes from time to time to imagine things.
The automatic side door of the van opened. All the seats
had been removed from the back of the van. This was for Fr.
Pastille’s sake. Straps hung from the ceiling of the van, just
as straps hung above his bed, which he used to raise his bulk.
He heaved himself into the van and rolled around for a while to
for that very reason the van was stocked with extra canes.
stachio, if you will, and I will,” she replied, these words the
punch line to one of the little jokes she had just made in her
head. Sister Nancy was known as a weird one. Off they went.
looked festive.
the food and filled his gullet. Luckily for his reputation,
else had already eaten and moved away from where the food was.
Ward / Romans / 157
it and no handle that opens when you push it and swings back
closed without assistance, like all deli doors do, going swoosh,
mouth. Fr. Pastille wiped his jowl with a napkin. “Is it all
Ward / Romans / 158
The men were quiet for some moments, nodding and smiling at
people despise pugs, and you cannot feel anxiety when confronted
booster like spite and its kin. Let’s face it, pugs and the
Ward / Romans / 159
people who like them aren’t entitled to respect. Pugs are ugly,
just like genes do, and exit their beings. They are the little
in-law Roman has the rare condition when they exit one’s being.”
“Well, may God be with him. And God may be with him. This
reckoned that the Catholic church was the most likely place he
the moniker he devised for himself during this time in his life.
Ward / Romans / 160
today, you might hear a “Carl Augustus” tossed around here and
The men were friends, but had drifted apart over the years,
not out of discord, but because Carl had learned all he could
like.”
strange.”
did not flow with the conversation. “I can arrange that, yes,
yes,” he said and nodded, then sucked his bottom lip into his
mouth.
Ward / Romans / 161
faggots.
Chapter 9
Roman was conscious, but just barely. His mind was aware
of itself, and that’s it. He didn’t want to open his eyes just
this point. Mind aware of mind, then pee-feeling, then the next
sensation he had was aural: two flautists were letting waft some
dulcet tones from their pipes. Undoubtedly this all was some
his cock.
“I have to pee.”
complaining.”
homunculi.”
melodies. Roman looked up, noticing them for the first time.
“Doctor Estella?”
“What?”
“Can you ask those guys to leave? Guys, can you leave?”
obtain them. We did this all for you. We thought you’d like it
after your rough night. I’ve never had the pleasure of being
looking at me and my boner all weird, and are even giving weird
“I’m ready.”
set on the ground. With this she deftly collected the whole of
Chapter 10
it usually is.
green tea, the TV pulsing with the sound off, his mind freely
It was his mother. He said “hello”, and she began talking and
Mrs. Markovsky had been trying to call her son for weeks.
Cleveland unannounced.
Ward / Romans / 167
Chapter 11
Thick black curly hair. Big nose, big glasses, big red lips.
the neck. Shiny green high heels. When she saw Roman walking
towards her she opened her arms, making her ham-like triceps
more conspicuous.
lifted him off of his feet and pecked him liberally, splotching
“Even though you bad son I filled with joy,” she said and
morosely.
Ward / Romans / 168
reabsorption phase, not only did his hair seem thicker and
pale.
condition? Hah!”
Roman slung the bag over his shoulder and dragged the suitcase
(it had wheels) behind him. “Here, this is our car,” he said.
“Oh, oh, oh, my Roman!” Mrs. Markovsky said as she put her
hands to her cheeks. Then her eyes narrowed. She laughed while
into Roman while he was sleeping. (This was before the day when
what she says.” Hoffman looked out the window. They drove in
silence along the 480 freeway, its most notable sight The Plain
my Roman!”
about Carla?”
“It’s not that. The baby and Trish are going to be with me
tell her that he was all right and that his mother was in town.
sabbatical from work and that Hoffman would take care of his
Rockside Road.
wrong with this person? How can she not love you? Look at your
smile! But why in hell she there in first place? What goes on
Chapter 12
Carla. She stood up and smiled when she saw them enter. Mrs.
when her girth was less substantial, she would leap into the air
on such occasions.
her by the waist and lifted her off the ground as one does an
infant. Mrs. Markovsky would have gone for the traditional bear
hug, but because of the recent attacks against Carla, Trisha now
baby opened its mouth as if she were about to cry, but we’ll
never know if she ever did cry, because before she got a chance
number on her. When Mrs. Markovsky pulled back the baby was
covered with lipstick. With wide eyes, Carla drew her tongue
head and turned a thumb towards the door. Roman followed Hoffman
out the door. They stood in the hallway. “Close the door,” said
It was hard enough getting that one homunculus here, and the
only reason she let me is because it didn’t look like Cindy, you
know? She thinks those damn things are little Cindys. But now
there’s no way she’s gonna let me take them. Not after I killed
one. The big deal with her’s going to be, not that I punched her
in the face, she’s a tough broad, but that I killed one of the
stared into Roman’s face, his head tilted to the left and his
“And does she take the homunculi with her, when she shops
“At home.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
moments after they left our sight, Estella came from the other
tight black dress that pushed her large boobs up high. Trisha
breasts.
Trisha’s head.
Dr. Estella. Either way, we’re going to tell you. What we did
handsome male. Her fashion sense was, until she paid for an
“successful.”
Estella stepped into the room. She saw that the bathroom
“My mother-in-law.”
“I see.”
Chapter 13
homunculi. Did she go to the grocery store the same day every
“Then I’ll call.” Hoffman picked up the phone off the desk.
the house? Does she have a regular schedule when she’s out of
the house?”
“Okay. Ah, well Carl, here’s the deal. I have to get those
guess.”
the rules of propriety, made a case for Grandma before the crew.
He argued that Grandma was miserable about how she treated them
when they first met. He explained that Grandma had not taken her
wasn’t at the funeral because she thought they wouldn’t want her
They agreed that it would be a good idea. She was Carl’s wife;
Back home from the funeral, while Grandma helped him out of
his suit, Carl said, “Ah, Grandma dear, I fear that your
From angry behavior you must ah, yes, yes, oh yes, yes, you must
friends?”
Figuring dealing with the crew directly was the best way to
neutralize any undue sway they may hold over him, she agreed to
Chapter 14
its tactics only when losing a member.” You may recall that
Wait, wait, don’t flip back. You needn’t refresh your memory.
The Plain Dealer wedged in his right armpit, where Carl served
now Ralph strode towards the empty, open sidewalk, and perhaps
whatever. And now, when he faced the car, a lone soldier, only
slower moving twos, Joseph and Florence Dogger, John and Helen
Ward / Romans / 181
Fennel, Bill and Dolores Swanson, and Carl and Grandma Odter.
next to Ralph and across from Carl. John sat next to Carl and
She told her story. The entire crew listened. Some of the
loudest laughs came from the yakkers’ table. Even Eleanor found
whole crew in a good mood. The group was so animated that some
Part IV
Chapter 1
theorizing. They were both drinking rather fancy teas, not the
kind that comes in a bag on a string, but the free-leaf kind you
magazine. The workmen had just left, carrying with them torn up
of the two workmen, Chris Turner, had been spotted earlier that
junk. All three, naturally, were unaware that their lives were
You would think he would impregnate them all or let them roam
when thinking he tilted his head to the left and kept his mouth
Exposed beneath their rising tee shirts, their hairy, pale guts
again.
wrought? Are we wasting our time?” Hoffman then stood from his
passion for it. Or if they don’t hate it, they will question
Art was not the medium of his destiny. It was now science that
outrageous. And here comes Hoffman with the case that would
his greed for fame he kept Roman to himself; he made Estella and
and stupidity.
school; he was well aware that this mood was only temporary, and
homunculi.
brought in. Roman and Carl were seated on brown leather chairs,
pairs facing each other. To the right of Hoffman and Roman, and
to the left of Estella and Carl, Fr. Pastille was given a chaise
any part of his body, especially his feet. The flunkey served
the tea to the guests and then left the room, closing the door
behind him.
“Well, well, eh, eh, uh, uh, eh, eh, oh yes, I mean ah,”
Carl said, before wrapping his lips around his tea cup to
tones.
Ward / Romans / 189
physicians.”
to sort out what is exactly going on with him. Is this the next
the environment?”
whatever you find will not disturb the doctrines of the Roman
it’s genetic, how come nobody else in Roman’s family has the
have this?” The doctors shook their heads. “I’m going to argue
Pastille gave his belly two quick taps with both hands; if
politeness, instead nodded his head and said, “I see. Would you
murmured affirmatively.
“Hmmm, the Devil, hey...that’s not too bad, not too bad.” Roman
Ward / Romans / 192
felt happy about this news. Before he was just ho-hum Romo.
But now he was the Devil! More than that, Hell itself. The
macaroni and cheese into her slightly open, sullen mouth; a few
noodles were stuck to her cheek and the orange cheese glared
around her lips like lipstick applied in a sad, Anna Nicole kind
of way.
depressing scene was not what they were expecting. Hoffman felt
his making. We’re all familiar with the various utopias and
feel terrible for the real Sandra, the teller of old. Where was
she now? Was she all right? The homunculus looked just like
her sad little soul. Roman actually wanted to cry. Why was he
feelings plagued him for as long as five minutes until the group
homunculi.
Before seeing him out the door, Hoffman said to Carl, “Is
“Ah, yes, yes, indeed. We’ll leave for the diner by five-
thirty. Yes. I guess we, ah, won’t be back, ah, till eleven.”
interest to you.”
same manner.”
out. “What you said is true! That’s the thing about me.
The only Reality is God. Roman, you see, the homunculi aren’t
come from beyond the limits. You see, the world is divided into
the known, the unknown, and the unknowable. The known and the
simply the known that is not yet known. The unknowable remains
forever unknown. Dividing the unknowable from the known and the
unknown are the limits. Without the limits the world would lack
is you.”
Chapter 2
and out of perception. If you didn’t know they were actual, you
would think that perhaps you hadn’t seen them, that perhaps
little dizzy, and that was what was causing those odd blurs in
your field of vision. This was true even after Grandma had
tamed them. She was able to stop their mischief, but not slow
oxygen tanks Hoffman and his team of thirty flunkeys wore when
himself and his men in. Next they sealed all the windows and
doors in the home. Then they gassed the entire house; hence the
suits and oxygen tanks. Only then did they begin their search.
Ward / Romans / 198
covers from the vents and remove floorboards from the floor,
just made of plain cardboard boxes (every city has its poor).
The little shantytown looked more like Euclid, Ohio, than it did
seals from the windows and doors, put the covers back on the
Grandma.
Ward / Romans / 200
Chapter 3
Hanz Hoffman
Hoffman Medical dba The Hospital
6701 Rockside Rd.
Suite H
Independence, OH 44131
October 20, 2000
Mrs. Odter,
If you haven’t already found out, I write to inform you that I have
taken the homunculi. This notion that the homunculi are your dead
and/or retribution at once. The homunculi are Roman. They are a part of
Sincerely,
Hanz Hoffman
Chapter 4
Markovsky.
Like mother, like son. Mrs. Markovsky would only eat food
medical center. The kitchen was also used to prepare meals for
meals there.
Chapter 5
For the past four hours the Sandra homunculus had been
Pastille.
Ward / Romans / 203
Chapter 6
tell me?”
After Carl had left her sight, Grandma found the Yellow
Grandma rolled down her window and said to the cabbie, “Do not
said Grandma. Then to Guy: “You do not move. You are coming
herein. Guys, you’ve gotten the narrator all wrong. What was
going on there was just some brutal dude humor between close
Right now we’ve caught him at a moment when he’s turning the
yeah, he’s still fat now, but he won’t be for long. Since he
Ward / Romans / 205
family proud. It all takes off from here for him. A life of
“Dunno.”
“Hey lady, I don’t know about that. We’re not too far from
The Hospital. Why don’t you just have the boy ride up and meet
you there?”
Grandma gave Guy his orders and off they all went towards
Chapter 7
was playing with Carla in the room. Carl and Pastille were
doctors and their flunkeys all wore those space age suits we saw
numbered 1A-50C.
“Sure.”
“Grandma.”
“Sorry, ma’am. He’s not in right now. You can give him a
Chapter 8
had to run one more test on him before the final event. She led
She opened the door and put him in a bare room and then
left him alone, closing the door behind her. “Wait here a sec,
growled instead.
quickly opened the door, light and shapes appeared in his eyes,
and then it was shut. He was even less himself by the time the
by the leg. He rose to his feet and grabbed its other leg,
arm forward and pulled his left back, ripping the homunculus in
half from its anal cavity to its chest cavity, the flesh making
Ward / Romans / 210
bones.
Ward / Romans / 211
Chapter 9
dampening his frivolous mood, Guy felt his heart constrict with
sympathy.
hurry.”
Ward / Romans / 212
Chapter 10
provided her with a substantial food budget, so she had gone all
out. The meal started with a Georgian salad. Next came potato
ladky followed by kharcho. For the main dish sturgeon and fried
choking. Trisha was afraid she would puke if she looked at him.
She covered Carla’s eyes so that she could not see him.
Chapter 11
Grandma closed her eyes and let it come to her. She saw a
flash of red, then a kitchen briefly. When she opened her eyes
two flunkeys came out, pushing the cart that held the dirty
and ducked beneath a table; he went down with her. When the
flunkeys’ voices had trailed off, they rose and made for the
dah...dadadahhhhhhh, dadadahhhhhhh...
Ward / Romans / 215
Chapter 12
They could now forget the awkward question and focus on him.
said Carl.
done”--and who knows why? How did they help? Most likely they
were just taking their cues from Hoffman and Estella. This was
jumped about and patted each other. Billy Wiltshire, the dark-
the nation. Both teams were so good that each match was likely
last second escape: two lean primates in a zero sum game, one
ground.
the striped referee circled left, now right, around the quick
gnocchi, his wife Maria exclaimed, “It’s like silk in the mouth,
Joey, like silk in the mouth.” At the end of the match, Joey,
standing between the two sweaty and trembling boys (the thin
the hand of the victor while the loser’s remained at his side.
Ward / Romans / 218
the exceptional grace of his movements, you could tell that this
truck, his feet flying out at the crowd and his shoulders and
the ref merely slipped, despite the fact that he was as dead as
the ambulance came to haul away the corpse and the meet was
state of indeterminacy: though the ref was dead, the cat of the
This was kind of like those moments when Billy, minding his own,
Chapter 13
...The heavy mass plopped down onto a tarp placed under the
while...
hit...
behind.
Ward / Romans / 221
other in excitement.
chunk of it.
cell. He stood for some time, trying to see what the little
Hunched over the table with a magnifying glass held to his right
Eventually, after the cells melted away, the jar was filled
Chapter 14
you doing? What you doing? Where are Cindys? Where are
Cindys?”
knees.
“I am Grandma!”
other, dropping glass things, which broke when they hit the
Roman wandered in, his tee shirt and mesh shorts caked with
blood.
“My God, Roman, what is wrong with you?” said his mother,
Pastille.
“Okay, okay, I see little Romans, yes you Kraut, but where
glass at the homunculi; she did not notice Roman come in.
“Liar!”
Chapter 15
jagged, eight-inch long piece of it. She opened her purse and
dropped it in. Next, she undid the floral scarf from her neck,
hand.
mother and Trisha, while reaching into her purse with her cloth-
covered hand.
“Yes?”
With these words she withdrew the shiv from her purse, and
thrust it into Roman’s crotch with a grunt. The glass dug three
his inner right thigh. Her initial aim was on point, but Roman
shiv. She struck him a second time with the shiv in his right
flying through the air. She went through the open doorway of
the Willy Wonka room and into the observation room. As soon as
she stood up, Mrs. Markovsky hit her in the nose with a powerful
Grandma stumbled back, lost her balance, and fell into the door
leading to the hallway. She grabbed the handle and went out.
Once on the other side, she leaned against the door, trying to
from the door and flew into a wall. She landed on her bum.
Mrs. Markovsky rushed her, and crushed her nose a second time
with her fat knee. Grandma howled abjectly, like a dog being
vivisected.
blouse; it was all over the floor. Mrs. Markovsky ran up to her
lifted off the ground an inch or two, landed, her knees striking
first, her nose second. She was unconscious. Carl and Guy,
along with some flunkeys who had been sent to break up the
Chapter 16
“Oh dear, Grandma my love, oh, ah, are you, ah, all right?”
asked Carl.
“Grandma is mess, but fine. Get away you other people!” she
you too. Thank you, ah. Ah yes. Please, please go and find a
gurney, will you? Thank you. Here, dear, here.” Carl withdrew
Grandma was near where the recent construction had been on the
room Roman was put into to eat the homunculi. After Carl left
to get the purse, she grabbed a hammer that was lying nearby.
the small homunculi or have any escape. The room was evacuated
she was sent home in one of The Hospital’s vans. Carl went with
all right.
Ward / Romans / 231
Chapter 17
enough.
temporary.
table felt the same way. So intensive was the group feeding,
down into a chair, and sipped a drink: whiskey for the men, wine
unpleasant things that had happened that day, they were still
the sober mind. Strangers pat and commend each other in great
the greatest person I’ve ever met. We just know each other,
images nor words describing the deed he was planning, yet they
answer.
The more the dinner party focused on Roman, the more they
discovered about him. Trisha let out a cry, stood up from the
memory: what Grandma did to him. Next they felt the Sandra
some of his buddies and some of their girls with him, them
secrets. He could feel the masses rummage about inside him with
private man.
Chapter 18
You have just read, dear reader, the story of the homuncular
aside. Once they reach their smallest state they connect to and
dies.
They were connected to his mind. They could inhabit his mind,
but not become his mind. The medium of exchange was limited.
just knew.
Though some argue that the more things change, the more they
stay the same, make no bones about it, this was a fundamental
books on The New York Times bestseller list that have homuncular
mental net out into the public would yield only static. Too
many signals at once. To lock into the right frequency you had
him to read the contents of his mind. Once inside the mind,
access the thoughts the mind was currently thinking, but tapping
into the memory was nearly impossible. Mental data mining was
you could find the answer. You could cause the answer to arise.
Ward / Romans / 239
elite. These carriers were developed from the sperm and eggs of
A young carrier could opt out of his future, but none did,
because the decision had to be made when very young, and his
those who paid the carriers for their services did not know what
carriers true power was held. Over time real power had shifted
from public and corporate officials who told the carriers what
public.
the prostitute.
other? How much resistance would you have to put up against the
will of many?
Once the influencers knew who you were, there was no escaping
them. There was no way to block them from entering your brain.
since they could never prove to their captors that they were not
finished.
teaching. Pastille was a renegade who had railed all his career
Before God died all was well; humans lived as humans. They were
able to do this because they knew they were made in the image of
God and that God existed. So long as God existed, their humanity
did as well.
mentalsphere. The tragedy was that man could no longer see God,
the imagination.
mankind to such insane grief that it gored out its eyes with
Like Oedipus, mankind had unwittingly been the author of its own
time the punishment was not hard labor, but death. The machine
would kill man. The machine had been killing him. Year after
year man was becoming less and less human. He was beginning to
resemble something other than the image God made him in.
argument.
as Musil and Kafka had not yet run its course, or at least was
the operable human reality until the homuncular event. This was
the era of where the primitive man and the technological man
lived together in one man, the divided man, the fragmented man,
fertile the soil. The homuncular age marks the end of privacy
and the end of the individual. Only the carriers will be able
to have, if they wish, inner lives; only they will have the
pure, unfiltered minds, was our real self. Our names, our
smiles, our handshakes, the things we say, these are all the
little lies we live to get through the day. Social life is just
what our focus should be on. Our external lives exist only to
feeling.
You must kill and you must fuck are the commandments of the
just let the dollops plop down everywhere: on his shirt, his
while what looked like used cooking grease trickled from his
anus. His member leaked urine and smegma. His eyes teared with
viscous green goop. Even his earwax had liquified and dribbled
the image God made us in, God will no longer recognize us as his
imaginations, that is our souls, and then from God.” These were
the last words Pastille wrote. In fact, the very last act of
his life was typing the word “God.” His finger on the “D” key,
farts.
the way, set a world record for the weight of its impactions.
most species that have ever lived, Homo sapiens would someday
that they were not long for the world. First off, the
elite who were much weaker than the masses they controlled.
What kept the masses at bay was fear. Fear of the carriers’
test that power, maybe they would find that it was illusory.
before it, would take pleasure in its existence, just like any
It is these inner lives that make humans human and life worth
having yours delved into. But maybe there would arise a weird,
mind. These people would have the privacy and silence needed
Chapter 19
Dr. Estella, Fr. Pastille, Sister Nancy, the elderly horde, the
bankers, the flunkeys too: these are our homunculi, they have
thing: to let us glance at them one more time so they may round
out our tale. After all we’ve done for them, it’s the least
Chapter 20
like this, have ever done anything like it, or would remotely
was a bill I’d have to pay that I didn’t have the money for.
people having power over me, controlling me. I mean when people
so worked up, Father. And, Father, the worst thing, the worst
Father, oh God I’m pathetic, a real shit, I know, and maybe I’m
talking crazy and it’s not even that bad, you know, but oh God,
oh God, Father, maybe it helps, but now I’m talking like mad at
you, so I better just tell you, but when people piss me off, and
the pathetic thing is they really don’t have to piss me off, but
I just don’t like people having power over me, Father. It’s a
just don’t like being jerked around. But what I’d like to do,
cocksuckers, who are trying to lord it over me, oh God, and you
know, these fucks, I want to have their arms and legs surgically
removed, you know, and then when they recover, I’ll say to them,
‘Look at you, you fuck, you stump fuck, where are your arms and
legs, fuck? Oh, you were a big man when you had arms and legs,
you fuck, thought you could push me around, but look at you now!
You don’t have arms or legs! And that’s not all, no, that’s not
your mouth and asshole all day long.’ Oh God, Father, this is
rather have my enemies punished with big dicks rather than small
I’d say, ‘Look at you now, look at you! You thought you were so
big. Look at you now!’ Then I’d stick some pins in their balls
and the whites of their eyes and under their finger nails, oh
God, but they don’t have arms, so just in their eyes and balls,
and let the prisoners go back at them, oh God, Father, but I’d
never do it, I just think it, I’m so pathetic, but these fucks
that happen beneath the social surface. Pastille cut him off
after a while and absolved him: four “Hail Marys”, three “Our
Fathers.”
above.
over the years that made her face collapse into her head.
Pastille doused the head of the baby with holy water and
the time, he enunciated all of his words clearly: his sacs had
Pastille pictured the baby with its arms and legs hacked
and men in their coats and ties, especially if these were young
Ward / Romans / 257
celebrate.
family. For a man and a woman to fall deeply in love and have
and they love their children. The family is love. God is love.
God is a family: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. One must assume the
the lesser half at that. Oh, but what about him, the clergy in
general? God made up that other half for them. Yep, yep. He
couldn’t stand it, though, when the nuns would say things like,
That’s a god who was always on the prowl. But Jesus? Should’ve
Having a family was half the story. The other half was
happy, avoiding them was all it took. Ah, a life of peace and
Ward / Romans / 258
Sister Nancy came home from the cancer hospice where she
where Pastille was. They often chatted there during their down
the room. Usually she would sit when they had their chats.
Whenever she came home from the hospice she carried in her
clothes the smell of feces and food. The staff at the hospice
there for the last three months, helping with the patients and
Gautrey, she’s not quite at the end. She walks around the place
and she’s nice to talk to. Maybe not all there, though, you
won’t last the next few months. This guy, at night, he was
raping her. Who knows how many nights he’d done it for? One of
night. It’s just too awful. As far as I know she didn’t let
on. Maybe she wasn’t aware. You know, she’s not all there.
“Nevertheless.”
Ward / Romans / 261
Chapter 21
longevity.
Ward / Romans / 262
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
married.
Ward / Romans / 264
Chapter 24
the smoke got all up in your nose and eyes. Finally, their
Chapter 25
and then another, and then another, and is then detached from
the social circle, and is then out the door, and is then in his
Chapter 26
most of what was at hand. Nothing ever lasted long, but she
never let go of anything until she had sucked out all its juice,
scraped out all its meat, and then ground up to dust whatever
her best. Her mind followed four rules: seek, seize, extract,
absorption of things.
her beauty are laid out thus: large blue eyes, long dark curly
hair, fair skin, full lips, and her breasts, angled upward,
pornographer.
paper and then resealing them after she had searched the
contents. This was how she discovered that Michel was due to
inherit $5,000 US from his Parisian uncle, Henri, who died sans
progeny à la homosexual.
meal, a simple hangar steak with pomme frites, and even broke
out some wine. When she saw his car pull up into the driveway
“Good.”
business, Michel would emerge from the den to spend the rest of
on his face.
Grandma frowned.
how much younger she was, how he married her out of vanity, how
would sit up in bed and stare at Michel’s face in the dark. Her
mind hummed all night long. Before dawn she had arrived at an
inviolable determination.
per the usual. Breakfast was ready for him when he went down to
the kitchen.
“Morning, dear.”
Michel ate.
“Bye, dear.”
to work.”
She sat with him in the fish stall all day, silent. Silent
in the car ride home. Silent at home. Michel would say little
of action.
“All right, Maria. All right,” was all he said the third
night.
Chapter 27
be alive! Carl sat in his blue corduroy chair. He wore his red
trapped under the earth and their wings were scraping at the
Long in years;
Short in hairs.
Ward / Romans / 272
Here I repose
In my lair.
My blue chair;
My linty clothes.
the past out of mind for the moment. But the past would return,
smolder in his gut. The images made his mind a prison--as long
as the memory was fresh. Time heals, and as time passed his
several images were condensed into one image that conveyed the
those that had caused him the most pain in learning. Some of
physical ones. He had dealt with the pains of age for a while,
but these ones were located in different parts of his body and
breath. His chest felt tight. Rising from chairs and walking
up stairs had become even more difficult. The pain in his side
was just another item in a long list, hardly noticed amongst the
time.
shirt from his pants so they could crawl out. Out they went,
all: the appetite for knowledge. These men did not want to be
question the great minds and get the facts behind the intrigues
He knew he was near the end. He would spend his remaining days
authors he loved.
Grandma. This was always the case with him, the tantalizing
irony that defined his life: happiness was always near to him,
he should have told Eleanor how he felt. But what the hell was
People never change, Carl thought. The problems are always the
same. These kinds of regrets were the same he had had all of
Ward / Romans / 276
resemble that image, we are happy. When unlike the image we are
and insanity, when his serotonin levels were abysmally low, not
Shadowy Voice would whisper in his ear such things as, “Oh, dear
Carl, where to begin with you? Your funny way of speaking? How
things you find in books, never show others the beauty of your
inner world? That it’s like your inner world refuses to enter
organ? That your words thus have nothing in them of your real
person? It’s all so fucking sad that the world is missing out
false flower. You’re big but you’re not strong. You read
terror?
Most people, you think, have missing pieces too, but they have
others who provide them with what they lack. You, though, are
self. People can only see and hear the deformed freak that you
are. All they hear is your incomprehensible talk and all they
see are your little hands. That’s why you’ll never become
#
Ward / Romans / 278
shifted his butt to the edge of the chair cushion and extended
his arm to lift the window open. After several jabs, he popped
hooked the cane around the necks of the homunculi, and then
flung them out the window. The mopey nature of these ill-formed
should avoid stepping out into the rain on the first. And so
forth.
But maybe he had some time still left. Maybe he could explain
Ward / Romans / 279
to Eleanor how he felt and how it all had gone wrong. He didn’t
didn’t have it. Maybe the fear of death would change him. Why
fear? Why die without saying the one thing you should say?
much.
was through Eleanor. Eleanor was one of the first people Carl
met in Parma. Since she first saw him reading and eating alone
know him. They had noticed and nodded to each other long before
began. When they met Eleanor was already married. Eleanor was
wore. His girth was more moderate. He was thickly built, not
large buckle, jeans, and work boots. That was Carl’s uniform,
young boy, would hide from him, the man’s disfigured face and
behavior, since the uncle was a kind, wise fellow. Carl, taking
together, mostly fishing and talking about books. The man died
Included with the ranch house and the wooded property were
to other kin.
his uncle’s memory, though he did not like them. He hid the
on the road at least five days of the week, so why bother making
stomp around.
all, were quick to perceive what was a-brewing, and joined the
frenzy.
may never end. That’s because the dance can accompany nearly
any song, from the hypnotic way it’s performed to “Ghost Riders
Rex dancer must bite the air around the neck (as if he were
pronouns have a sex change: you may mix and match them
danced.
Beatrice grabbed hold of Carl as he made his way out the door
and told him to wait there. She went inside and returned a few
She then asked him to walk her home and he did so. After making
door. When leaving Carl noted her address. Some distance from
her house he raised his arms to the sky and did a jig, but then
course.
Ward / Romans / 285
The next weekend they had their first date. Carl arrived
socks and shoes that matched the belt, white undergarments, and
with a wave before Carl could turn the motor off. A pleasant
fragrance preceded her entering the car. Her blue summer dress
clung to her narrow thighs as she sat. Carl fixed his eyes on
her bare neck. “I, ah, cannot help but see you’re lovely
along his left inner thigh where his khakis tightly hugged his
luscious shrubs that imbued the air with a rich green scent.
Red and yellow paper lanterns glowed above them. They burbled
now and then Carl would send little poems to Beatrice through
child.
blue corduroy chair and reveal that the best time of his life
Beatrice did not love him and that Trisha was not his, we could
gloom, but he would dispel it like the sun does mist. There was
yourself get sad. This they call the process of becoming wise,
Ward / Romans / 287
less and less of life, until you can accept your death, and
expect to die. You learn to let everything go, even your life.
All things considered, wise and happy is not a bad way to end
sun and felt the presence of God in its light. It was revealed
Nothing came to mind. Maybe he had fallen out of favor for bad
and all the men and women merely players.” Hearing this, Carl
her, and tell her how perfect she was, how beautiful.
The meal ingested, the bill paid, Carl walked to his car.
the color of the sky, but flecked with black, yellow, brown, and
the moment when Carl began to love himself, the world, and its
people.
subject, he learned that his experience was common and that the
something.
Ward / Romans / 290
Chapter 28
She once had, though, a bold moment not too long ago.
Trisha, her pajama shirt open, fed Carla from her breast.
put Carla in her cradle and then went to her room to read. Now
She could hear the homunculi giggle as they played beneath her
laughing was pleasant, and made her life feel charmed, as if she
is eternal, and where the sun shines invigorating light upon the
massage a red sheen out of the tips of the grass blades--oh yes,
so lovely.
Ward / Romans / 291
with Trisha. She opened her legs to let the homunculi run
across her belly, between her nipples, and giving her a quick
little kiss on the lips before jumping off her. The homunculi
would get in line to run up her in this way, like she was a
these games with her bedroom door locked, lest any passerby peek
private fun.
or so she thought.
butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, working the butter knife
and then doing the same for the jelly slice, the whole process
taking him much longer than it should take to make a pbj, Trisha
One day, amidst much static, she heard the following over
“But how can you say it? You’ve just had the baby.”
if she had plugged into some alternate reality: that she was
that continued to live. The next moment she worried about her
Trisha became obsessed with the ladies she heard over the
they lived close by, since the dinky baby walkie-talkie had a
pants were old ones she had outgrown. Under the cover of the
carriage she hid the walkie-talkie. She hoped that she would be
able to find the house the women’s voices came from by the
“Ugh. Creepy.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh...yeah.”
Ward / Romans / 294
in range. When her circuit brought her back by the house, she
saw two women coming out of the front door with a baby in a
passed them. They didn’t appear to hear her. Red in the face,
The sisters, Tara (the elder and mother) and Sydney, hailed
from North Royalton. Tough broads they were, though not unkind,
just entirely practical, not the kind of women who make much of
marine. The work kept him away for months at a time, but he
never worked for more than six months out of the year. His
quash any suspicions: she was not acquainted with those former
top, the absolute, the platonic form of burger taste. It’s not
Sydney lived with Tara and Derek. She helped with the baby,
lunch. Tuna salad sandwich with potato chips prevailed over the
other candidates.
her window while nursing Carla. She saw them pass by. Carla
about the milk geyser isn’t true; but why restrain ourself when
#
Ward / Romans / 296
How does one meet people? Surely it’s possible she could
school, more or less; she did make a few attachments and with
active, the chosen to the chooser. How could she make these
rid the house of the junk he was always tripping over. Grandma
to be designed by Grandma.
“We must get those girls from down the street to come. The
The day of the garage sale came. Balloons were tied to the
The girls resisted the urge to look at each other, lest they
laugh.
“Oh, yeah.”
unexpected.
“Huh?”
“No.”
Later, Sydney said to Tara, “I think she told you that she
senses were whirled in confusion. She felt like she was giving
the door, which provided sweet relief. Trisha, you see, had put
As Trisha walked away from the front door, the girls pulled
into the driveway. Tara was driving; she rolled down her
window.
“Yes.”
“What for?”
“The calculator.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t understand.”
“So you brought the manual. Thank you. That was very
thoughtful.”
“No.”
“Pardon.”
show you how to use the graphing functions. Now I’m going to go
home.”
“Okay.”
Ward / Romans / 300
This was the last time Trisha saw the girls eyeball-to-
reconcile with Roman. She saw that the Sandra affair was partly
seductions. Plus, now that she had access to his mind, it would
been.
Roman, home from the golf course, sat in the kitchen drinking
“Trish?”
“Yeah, babe?”
Ward / Romans / 301
“Huh?”
about the pain in your side just last week, but now nothing.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, what?”
“Apparently.”
“Yeah.”
Trisha thought that while Roman did not completely buy her
part, looked out the window and enjoyed the pleasantness of the
away. Surely, one can enjoy full peace and freedom with
problems, so long as they are small and few. Other times, one
Roman, the heat of the day on his skin, the grass smell in
his nose, the sky blue and clear to his eyes, could feel his
problems recede. He’d been waiting a long time for this day.
their asses, hairy ones.) Trisha was afraid of what Roman might
think if he saw that she had Cindy homunculi. While Trisha may
keep him from harm. Grandma, now persona non grata in the
birthing Cindy homunculi. You see, while Trisha may have told
personal ones.
#
Ward / Romans / 303
their situation and said it was okay if they stayed with him.
reading.
not to disturb Ralph. Grandma had left the door unlocked for
apron; her hands dry, she raised them to Trisha to relieve her
upon her before she was even able to flick on a light. Some
mini-mates, since women prefer tall men? The answer is that the
of the homunculi inject their home being with semen via vaginal
intercourse. Next you have the same old sperm and egg routine.
more trouble than the monthly flushing. Last, the home being
The phone rang from the couch. It had negligently been left
answered it.
“Hello?”
“Grandma, what are you saying? How could you do this? They
not even want to know what weirdnesses you participate in. You
not see them till you give Roman to Grandma!” With this,
Trisha chose the homunculi over the safety of her husband. She
set the trap by persuading Roman to visit Carl with her, saying
that Grandma would be gone for the day. In fact, it was Carl
that she may have creamed herself. All day she had been a bit
Roman pull into a gas station. Smiling and giggling, baby Carla
Luckily, this was a gas station where you didn’t have to ask
for the key. Fearful that she had excreted something odorous,
“My period.”
focused on the task at hand. The car parked, Roman went to get
“I’ll get her, I’ll get her,” Trisha said, bumping him out of
“Fine...Christ.”
himself in time.)
Roman tried to grab Carla from her, but before he could Grandma
was upon him again; he raised his forearms to cover his head
from the blow; she struck him smack in the middle of his right
Ward / Romans / 308
retaliated.
Ralph and Carl pulled into the driveway to see Roman kicking
realized this after they had already gotten to the store. They
frantically behind.
Ralph tackled Roman and the two men fell to the ground and
hammer, stood up, and started swinging wildly, her eyes almost
sickening thud.
brain.
homunculi.