Identity as a Parent
____ I want to be a parent. ____ My partner wants to be a parent. ____ I know that parenting means giving up some things that are important to me. ____ I know that parenting entails great rewards and some heartaches. ____ When I adopt, I will feel that the children are my children.
____ When I make a decision to adopt a child, I am making a commitment for life. ____ I know that adopting children entails risks and that there are no guarantees about how thechildren will turn out. ____ I will help my adopted children handle the sometimes harsh realities, such as their historiesof separation and loss. ____ I will remain committed to my children if new information about them comes to light, suchas their being more traumatized than I had originally thought.
Willingness to Learn About Children’s Needs
____ I will attend workshops and trainings on the issues that the children I adopt may have, suchas attachment issues, fetal alcohol syndrome and effects, and behavioral issues. ____ I will look beyond the children's needs to see their resilience; how they have coped with,adapted to, and overcome negative experiences. ____ I know that both positive and negative experiences have shaped how my children think,feel, and behave.
____ I will be affectionate with my children, through both touching and words. ____ I know how to help children express their emotions in constructive ways. ____ I will set clear and fair limits for my children. ____ I have clear and fair expectations for my children. ____ I will give age-appropriate explanations for the expectations I have. ____ I will give my children choices in day-to-day decisions. ____ I will set clear and fair consequences for my children. ____ I will follow through on consequences.