unconventional. It began as strictly a roleplay relationship. After I fellsuddenly and passionately enthusiastic for Lord of the Rings, I naturallyfulfilled my nerdish needs by roleplaying Frodo Baggins. She was my excellent andenthusiastic rp partner, Merry Brandybuck. Our roleplaying and chatting consumedmy entire Summer that year. I kept my phone on me at all times so I could stay incontact with her. Our friendship gradually developed into one I treasured. As themonths passed we formed some type of schedule of communication that becameroutine. She lived in Athens, Greece, seven hours ahead of my Eastern standardtime. At night before she went to bed we wrote and roleplayed, and each morningand afternoon after that. Once she attended college in October, things changed
drastically. We didn’t chat much anymore.
On this particularly Thursday afternoon, after teaching piano for the day, I
wrote a small message to one of Christy’s friends, Stavroula, asking her how my
friend was doing. Stavroula was that new friend from college. Because she andChristy had developed a close bond, I tended to rely on her to find out if myfriend was okay or not. We wrote on and off at nights, and usually ourconversations were about Christy. At this point I was growing concerned because Ihadn't heard much back.I was confused. My heart was beginning to miss Tina more and more. I feltcoldness from her end and asked myself, "Have I done something wrong? Or has she
forgotten about me?” After all, ours was just an internet friendship. And
honestly- there are things one can share with their face to face friends they
simply can’t share over wires. I felt secretly and admittedly insecure about my
lack of ability to reach her in the way her college friends could. Who was I tocompare with them? I could never look her in the eye, embrace her, squeeze herhand, or go out places with her. I relied strictly upon my words, and the
feelings in my heart. It wasn’t enough.
But anyway, I held onto the promise she often made to me in past months:
I will never forget you.
And I would never forget her, ev
en if she didn’t want to hearfrom me. I cared too much about her. That’s just the way friends work. Things
would come around in the end.I felt guilty for not trusting.
I looked up at Mom and smiled. Often these thoughts took me by surprise.